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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

MIL pushing Christianity on our son (update)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 95 Replies

My DH and I are atheists and are choosing to raise our child with that belief.

My MIL is extremely religious and has always been in denial about her son not sharing her Christian faith. We have always been respectful, but not participated in going to church or prayers before meals, which she takes very personally.

Our son is 5 and recently told us that when she watches him, she makes him pray before eating or going to bed (which I would be not thrilled with but okay with), but when he asks why, she says that he'll go to Hell if he doesn't. She told him that she wants him to be baptized with her soon and said that if he goes with her she'll get him a present. The final straw was when he told us that she has said his best friend, who has two moms, doesn't have a real family and that he shouldn't play at their house anymore because they're "not nice" and "scary", which left him in tears.

We talked to her about it and she wasn't apologetic at all, saying "someone needs to teach him some values". I'm still livid and haven't spoken to her since this weekend, and have ignored her calls since. 

Is it an overreaction to not let her be alone with him ever again? I can't stand the thought that she's filling his head with such bullshit and going behind our backs like this. 

Any advice?

UPDATE: we invited MIL over for lunch yesterday. We once again reiterated that we don't appreciate her scaring our son and disrespecting us as parents. She remained unapologetic. We told her that once she apologized, we would consider letting her spend time at our house with him, but not alone.

She continued to refuse to apologize, and she said she's only doing the right thing. So, as of right now, she is not to be around our son in any circumstances. I'm disgusted that she's made it come to this. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
liss.n.chris
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:47 PM
2 moms liked this

What does your husband think? 

I wouldn't want my kid around someone who preached fear based faith, but while my family is religious, they're not like that.  If you don't want to go to church or pray, as long as you're not a dick about it, they don't care.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:48 PM

your doing the right thing ,she should listen to you and your dh about your faith ,just not talk with her for a while and tell your child that you have a different belief then his grandma.gl

leximann
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:49 PM
2 moms liked this

No advice but I don't think its an over reaction at all to not let her be alone with him.  She is making him feel bad for having a friend whom she doesn't aporve of and you obviously do.  Has he expressed an interest in church or is just fine with the way things are?  I wouldn't let my child have to suffer through the emotional abuse it sounds like she is trying to inflict to get her way.  Stand firm mama!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:49 PM

He is furious as well. He hasn't answered her calls either, but we are still discussing the right course of action to take. 

I'm disgusted that she would fill his head with fear based stuff, insult a perfectly nice family she doesn't even know and do all of this behind out backs. 

Quoting liss.n.chris:

What does your husband think? 

I wouldn't want my kid around someone who preached fear based faith, but while my family is religious, they're not like that.  If you don't want to go to church or pray, as long as you're not a dick about it, they don't care.



lauraschatz
by Gold Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:49 PM
6 moms liked this
I would talk to her or send a letter if you don't think she able to listen and be reasonable. Let her know that you are raising your son with your values of acceptance and love and you do not want him exposed to such concepts as "hell" and "wrong" families. Let her know that if she is unable to respect your values as you respect hers she will not be seeing your child without you or your.husband present. Leave it at that and don't let her pull you into an argument about who's beliefs are correct. You have yours and she has hers but YOU are the parent...end of story.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:51 PM

He doesn't know what church is and hasn't expressed an interest in going. 

Emotional abuse is the perfect word for this. Thank you!

Quoting leximann:

No advice but I don't think its an over reaction at all to not let her be alone with him.  She is making him feel bad for having a friend whom she doesn't aporve of and you obviously do.  Has he expressed an interest in church or is just fine with the way things are?  I wouldn't let my child have to suffer through the emotional abuse it sounds like she is trying to inflict to get her way.  Stand firm mama!



Zazayam
by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:52 PM

My family is pretty 50/50 on religious views. We have a rule that there is to be NO discussion about it with the other side. If you can't follow that rule, you can stay away until you're ready to do so.

I don't think any kid ever needs to worry about being burned in hell for all eternity if they don't agree to love some dude they know nothing about.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:52 PM

A letter is an excellent idea to get this presented in a calm manner. Thank you. 

Quoting lauraschatz:

I would talk to her or send a letter if you don't think she able to listen and be reasonable. Let her know that you are raising your son with your values of acceptance and love and you do not want him exposed to such concepts as "hell" and "wrong" families. Let her know that if she is unable to respect your values as you respect hers she will not be seeing your child without you or your.husband present. Leave it at that and don't let her pull you into an argument about who's beliefs are correct. You have yours and she has hers but YOU are the parent...end of story.



justbreatheOx
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:52 PM
If she can't be respectful of your wishes, then don't let your son be around her.
daughteroftruth
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:53 PM
2 moms liked this

 I would not let her be alone with him again.  She has crossed the line, and she is messing with his head.  Don't subject him to her anymore.

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