Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

MIL pushing Christianity on our son (update)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My DH and I are atheists and are choosing to raise our child with that belief.

My MIL is extremely religious and has always been in denial about her son not sharing her Christian faith. We have always been respectful, but not participated in going to church or prayers before meals, which she takes very personally.

Our son is 5 and recently told us that when she watches him, she makes him pray before eating or going to bed (which I would be not thrilled with but okay with), but when he asks why, she says that he'll go to Hell if he doesn't. She told him that she wants him to be baptized with her soon and said that if he goes with her she'll get him a present. The final straw was when he told us that she has said his best friend, who has two moms, doesn't have a real family and that he shouldn't play at their house anymore because they're "not nice" and "scary", which left him in tears.

We talked to her about it and she wasn't apologetic at all, saying "someone needs to teach him some values". I'm still livid and haven't spoken to her since this weekend, and have ignored her calls since. 

Is it an overreaction to not let her be alone with him ever again? I can't stand the thought that she's filling his head with such bullshit and going behind our backs like this. 

Any advice?

UPDATE: we invited MIL over for lunch yesterday. We once again reiterated that we don't appreciate her scaring our son and disrespecting us as parents. She remained unapologetic. We told her that once she apologized, we would consider letting her spend time at our house with him, but not alone.

She continued to refuse to apologize, and she said she's only doing the right thing. So, as of right now, she is not to be around our son in any circumstances. I'm disgusted that she's made it come to this. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:37 PM


If you are wrong, are you ok with the consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously? Do you raise your children in every religion there is, just in case one or the other is right?

Why would I pick Christianity, out of all of them, to pretend to be and raise him in when any of the others could be equally as right? 

Quoting Anonymous:

Guess what, if your MIL is wrong your son has lost nothing.

If you're wrong he burns in hell.

You can't prove there is no heaven or hell.

She can't prove there is.

You are gambling with your kids eternal whatever.

So, you have come to the decision that if you're right, great news for son. And if you're wrong you are ok with the consequences.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pardon me? I don't believe in Hell, so no, I'm not trying to send my child anywhere. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So you are actually trying to send your child to hell? 

wow... loser mom of the year! 









momto2boys973
by Emerald Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh no, that's a huge no-no! I'd be pissed if either my mother or mil went against my wishes regarding the religious education of my children. We're Orthodox Jews and both our families are Reform, we just respect each other.
Personally, that would be a relationship-breaker for me. I would tell her that she has a choice to make because as long as she insists on pushing her beliefs on my child, she won't be allowed to be alone with my child, ever.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:43 PM
2 moms liked this

If you are wrong about being Christian and raising your children that way, are you ok with the Buddhist consequences? The Muslim consequences? The Scientologist consequences? The Rastafarian consequences? The Zoroastrian consequences? The Pagan consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong, are you ok with the consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously? Do you raise your children in every religion there is, just in case one or the other is right?

Why would I pick Christianity, out of all of them, to pretend to be and raise him in when any of the others could be equally as right? 

Quoting Anonymous:

Guess what, if your MIL is wrong your son has lost nothing.

If you're wrong he burns in hell.

You can't prove there is no heaven or hell.

She can't prove there is.

You are gambling with your kids eternal whatever.

So, you have come to the decision that if you're right, great news for son. And if you're wrong you are ok with the consequences.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pardon me? I don't believe in Hell, so no, I'm not trying to send my child anywhere. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So you are actually trying to send your child to hell? 

wow... loser mom of the year! 











Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:45 PM

I asked you first  :-)


Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong about being Christian and raising your children that way, are you ok with the Buddhist consequences? The Muslim consequences? The Scientologist consequences? The Rastafarian consequences? The Zoroastrian consequences? The Pagan consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong, are you ok with the consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously? Do you raise your children in every religion there is, just in case one or the other is right?

Why would I pick Christianity, out of all of them, to pretend to be and raise him in when any of the others could be equally as right? 

Quoting Anonymous:

Guess what, if your MIL is wrong your son has lost nothing.

If you're wrong he burns in hell.

You can't prove there is no heaven or hell.

She can't prove there is.

You are gambling with your kids eternal whatever.

So, you have come to the decision that if you're right, great news for son. And if you're wrong you are ok with the consequences.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pardon me? I don't believe in Hell, so no, I'm not trying to send my child anywhere. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So you are actually trying to send your child to hell? 

wow... loser mom of the year! 













momto2boys973
by Emerald Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:46 PM
LOL!
That reminded me of that episode from "The Simpsons" when Ned Flanders says "I even kept kosher just to be on the safe side!"


Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously? Do you raise your children in every religion there is, just in case one or the other is right?

Why would I pick Christianity, out of all of them, to pretend to be and raise him in when any of the others could be equally as right? 


Quoting Anonymous:

Guess what, if your MIL is wrong your son has lost nothing.

If you're wrong he burns in hell.

You can't prove there is no heaven or hell.

She can't prove there is.

You are gambling with your kids eternal whatever.

So, you have come to the decision that if you're right, great news for son. And if you're wrong you are ok with the consequences.


Quoting Anonymous:

Pardon me? I don't believe in Hell, so no, I'm not trying to send my child anywhere. 


Quoting Anonymous:

So you are actually trying to send your child to hell? 

wow... loser mom of the year! 











Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:47 PM

If you don't agree with her views or opinions than do not use her as a resource. That means don't have her baby sit or keep your child over night. 

What does your son want though? I believe he should have a say in this, let him be a part of the discussion and when you sit down and speak with MIL let him be involved. If she's hurt his feelings or scared him he has every right to confront her and tell her that he doesn't like the things she says to him. 

This could be a defining moment in their grandparent/child relationship. It could ruin what they have built, it needs to be approached with HIS thoughts, wants and needs in mind, not just the anger of you and your DH. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:47 PM

Wow... SHe shoudl respect your beliefs and how you want to raise your child. You're doing the right thing IMO.


Especially bc she's trying to scare him into Chrsitianity wtf? that's really mean... I mean one thing if she makes him pray and tells him it's so her God watches over him or something nice, but tellig him he'll go to hell if he doesn't is over the top.

I won't even comment on what she said regarding the two mommy family. ugh. If she feels that way she needs to keep it to herself.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:48 PM

I already said that I don't belive in Hell any more than I believe in unicorns, and the Christian version of fate doesn't concern me because I don't believe Christianity to be anymore special or true than any other religion.

Why can't you answer?

Quoting Anonymous:

I asked you first  :-)

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong about being Christian and raising your children that way, are you ok with the Buddhist consequences? The Muslim consequences? The Scientologist consequences? The Rastafarian consequences? The Zoroastrian consequences? The Pagan consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong, are you ok with the consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously? Do you raise your children in every religion there is, just in case one or the other is right?

Why would I pick Christianity, out of all of them, to pretend to be and raise him in when any of the others could be equally as right? 

Quoting Anonymous:

Guess what, if your MIL is wrong your son has lost nothing.

If you're wrong he burns in hell.

You can't prove there is no heaven or hell.

She can't prove there is.

You are gambling with your kids eternal whatever.

So, you have come to the decision that if you're right, great news for son. And if you're wrong you are ok with the consequences.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pardon me? I don't believe in Hell, so no, I'm not trying to send my child anywhere. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So you are actually trying to send your child to hell? 

wow... loser mom of the year! 















piesmama09
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:50 PM

I wouldn't let her see your son anymore unless you have a SERIOUS talk about what your rules are! Spell it out and let her know what its simply not acceptable. I feel for you.

boshs1andonly
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:50 PM

I have a similar issue with my in-laws. Dh and I don't want dd baptized because we're not really practicing catholics. I try telling them that but they just brush it off, saying we should do it. I'm about to put my foot down though and just say, "we're not doing it, you don't have to like it but you do have to shut up about it because this isn't open for discussion". I don't really blame you for not wanting her around your son, the comment about his best friend was completely out of line. if she refuses to be respectful of your beliefs I can understand why you'd want to limit contact. it's okay with me if you want to believe something else, but if i'm going to respect your beliefs, you should be ready to respect mine as well. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN