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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

MIL pushing Christianity on our son (update)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My DH and I are atheists and are choosing to raise our child with that belief.

My MIL is extremely religious and has always been in denial about her son not sharing her Christian faith. We have always been respectful, but not participated in going to church or prayers before meals, which she takes very personally.

Our son is 5 and recently told us that when she watches him, she makes him pray before eating or going to bed (which I would be not thrilled with but okay with), but when he asks why, she says that he'll go to Hell if he doesn't. She told him that she wants him to be baptized with her soon and said that if he goes with her she'll get him a present. The final straw was when he told us that she has said his best friend, who has two moms, doesn't have a real family and that he shouldn't play at their house anymore because they're "not nice" and "scary", which left him in tears.

We talked to her about it and she wasn't apologetic at all, saying "someone needs to teach him some values". I'm still livid and haven't spoken to her since this weekend, and have ignored her calls since. 

Is it an overreaction to not let her be alone with him ever again? I can't stand the thought that she's filling his head with such bullshit and going behind our backs like this. 

Any advice?

UPDATE: we invited MIL over for lunch yesterday. We once again reiterated that we don't appreciate her scaring our son and disrespecting us as parents. She remained unapologetic. We told her that once she apologized, we would consider letting her spend time at our house with him, but not alone.

She continued to refuse to apologize, and she said she's only doing the right thing. So, as of right now, she is not to be around our son in any circumstances. I'm disgusted that she's made it come to this. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:51 PM
1 mom liked this
I find what your MIL is doing is repulsive. She is definately overstepping boundaries here.

I myself am Christian and we have friends from all walks of life. I believe in teaching my children to accept people for who they are.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:51 PM

We have plenty of potential babysitters. Their time together comes at her request, as grandma overnight/afternoon visits, not as us using her as a resource. 

My son is 5. He has no understanding of religion or why she's saying these things to him, and he's not getting a say in this because it's about her respecting us as parents and her inability to be appropriate. 

Quoting Anonymous:

If you don't agree with her views or opinions than do not use her as a resource. That means don't have her baby sit or keep your child over night. 

What does your son want though? I believe he should have a say in this, let him be a part of the discussion and when you sit down and speak with MIL let him be involved. If she's hurt his feelings or scared him he has every right to confront her and tell her that he doesn't like the things she says to him. 

This could be a defining moment in their grandparent/child relationship. It could ruin what they have built, it needs to be approached with HIS thoughts, wants and needs in mind, not just the anger of you and your DH. 



piesmama09
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:51 PM

 I can't like this enough. The people who claim to know everything are always the ones who know the least! For all we know ALL religions are real, or NONE are. What matters is that you're in charge of your child and what he's hearing. I think you're doing a fine job!

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I already said that I don't belive in Hell any more than I believe in unicorns, and the Christian version of fate doesn't concern me because I don't believe Christianity to be anymore special or true than any other religion.

Why can't you answer?

Quoting Anonymous:

I asked you first  :-)

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong about being Christian and raising your children that way, are you ok with the Buddhist consequences? The Muslim consequences? The Scientologist consequences? The Rastafarian consequences? The Zoroastrian consequences? The Pagan consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong, are you ok with the consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously? Do you raise your children in every religion there is, just in case one or the other is right?

Why would I pick Christianity, out of all of them, to pretend to be and raise him in when any of the others could be equally as right? 

Quoting Anonymous:

Guess what, if your MIL is wrong your son has lost nothing.

If you're wrong he burns in hell.

You can't prove there is no heaven or hell.

She can't prove there is.

You are gambling with your kids eternal whatever.

So, you have come to the decision that if you're right, great news for son. And if you're wrong you are ok with the consequences.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pardon me? I don't believe in Hell, so no, I'm not trying to send my child anywhere. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So you are actually trying to send your child to hell? 

wow... loser mom of the year! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

time_warp
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:52 PM
I would be pissed also. We are Christians and wouldn't be happy if my MIL was trying to teach another religion and trying to scare my kids with the religion :(
StrangeDays
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Totally not in the wrong at all. I would be livid as well.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamawolf1103
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I am Christian, and would never tell my own kids that, let alone someone elses. I would tell her very clearly what you will or won't allow her to talk about with him and let her know you are serious. She should respect your parenting whether she agrees with it or not.

ohmandy
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:55 PM

its not the religion thing that would bother me, its the hatefulness and fear.  dh is aethist, im agnostic but belong to a unitarian church.  i want my son (and daughter on the way) to learn about religion and make their own choices... but in the mean time i like that the unitarian church teaches more social justice issues in their sunday school.

the "threat" of baptizing and talking about his friends family like that is justification in keeping him away!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:57 PM


So, if you're wrong and there is indeed a God, you're ok with what that means for your son?

Why not teach him to be a seeker instead of simply teaching him there is nothing to seek after?


Quoting Anonymous:

I already said that I don't belive in Hell any more than I believe in unicorns, and the Christian version of fate doesn't concern me because I don't believe Christianity to be anymore special or true than any other religion.

Why can't you answer?

Quoting Anonymous:

I asked you first  :-)

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong about being Christian and raising your children that way, are you ok with the Buddhist consequences? The Muslim consequences? The Scientologist consequences? The Rastafarian consequences? The Zoroastrian consequences? The Pagan consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

If you are wrong, are you ok with the consequences?

Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously? Do you raise your children in every religion there is, just in case one or the other is right?

Why would I pick Christianity, out of all of them, to pretend to be and raise him in when any of the others could be equally as right? 

Quoting Anonymous:

Guess what, if your MIL is wrong your son has lost nothing.

If you're wrong he burns in hell.

You can't prove there is no heaven or hell.

She can't prove there is.

You are gambling with your kids eternal whatever.

So, you have come to the decision that if you're right, great news for son. And if you're wrong you are ok with the consequences.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pardon me? I don't believe in Hell, so no, I'm not trying to send my child anywhere. 

Quoting Anonymous:

So you are actually trying to send your child to hell? 

wow... loser mom of the year! 

















Zazayam
by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:57 PM

That seems more then reasonable to me, and I agree.. It IS a two way street, everyone involved needs to respect that.

Quoting Anonymous:

DH's family is very religious and I'd never dream of telling their children that their religious beliefs are stupid or wrong or made up. I have no idea why they can't afford the same respect to us. 

I think not letting her see him alone for awhile and then a strict "if you can't follow the rule, stay away until you can" may be the path we take.

Quoting Zazayam:

My family is pretty 50/50 on religious views. We have a rule that there is to be NO discussion about it with the other side. If you can't follow that rule, you can stay away until you're ready to do so.

I don't think any kid ever needs to worry about being burned in hell for all eternity if they don't agree to love some dude they know nothing about.




kenleespice
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:58 PM

She sounds like a nut case .you'd be best to just cut her out of your life

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