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MIL pushing Christianity on our son (update)

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My DH and I are atheists and are choosing to raise our child with that belief.

My MIL is extremely religious and has always been in denial about her son not sharing her Christian faith. We have always been respectful, but not participated in going to church or prayers before meals, which she takes very personally.

Our son is 5 and recently told us that when she watches him, she makes him pray before eating or going to bed (which I would be not thrilled with but okay with), but when he asks why, she says that he'll go to Hell if he doesn't. She told him that she wants him to be baptized with her soon and said that if he goes with her she'll get him a present. The final straw was when he told us that she has said his best friend, who has two moms, doesn't have a real family and that he shouldn't play at their house anymore because they're "not nice" and "scary", which left him in tears.

We talked to her about it and she wasn't apologetic at all, saying "someone needs to teach him some values". I'm still livid and haven't spoken to her since this weekend, and have ignored her calls since. 

Is it an overreaction to not let her be alone with him ever again? I can't stand the thought that she's filling his head with such bullshit and going behind our backs like this. 

Any advice?

UPDATE: we invited MIL over for lunch yesterday. We once again reiterated that we don't appreciate her scaring our son and disrespecting us as parents. She remained unapologetic. We told her that once she apologized, we would consider letting her spend time at our house with him, but not alone.

She continued to refuse to apologize, and she said she's only doing the right thing. So, as of right now, she is not to be around our son in any circumstances. I'm disgusted that she's made it come to this. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Replies (91-95):
caito
by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 10:56 PM

I wouldn't let my daughter stay with family members who tried to push religion on her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:13 PM

I suppose it could backfire, I just thought our last conversation got a bit heated and personal, which didn't accomplish much. 

Quoting parentalrights1:

Letters are usually a bad idea. I'd never advise to put anything in writing

Quoting Anonymous:

A letter is an excellent idea to get this presented in a calm manner. Thank you. 


Quoting lauraschatz:

I would talk to her or send a letter if you don't think she able to listen and be reasonable. Let her know that you are raising your son with your values of acceptance and love and you do not want him exposed to such concepts as "hell" and "wrong" families. Let her know that if she is unable to respect your values as you respect hers she will not be seeing your child without you or your.husband present. Leave it at that and don't let her pull you into an argument about who's beliefs are correct. You have yours and she has hers but YOU are the parent...end of story.







bandgeek521
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:05 PM

I see your update - I'm glad your husband is backing you up on it. But I am sorry that she remains unapologetic. :(

Just remember that she's putting you in this position by refusing to agree to disagree and meet your (very reasonable) wishes. Seeing your child is not something she is unconditionally entitled to or something you owe her, so she's the one all the responsibility in this situation falls on. If seeing her grandchild isn't worth holding her tongue and respecting your wishes, well, that's her prerogative, but at least you know that you don't have to feel guilty for it.

I'm sorry, OP, but I am glad that it sounds like you're handling it. Your child is too precious to allow anyone to scare him (etc), especially someone who is supposed to be a part of the family that offers him security and unconditional love.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:10 PM

BUMP!

jojo_star
by Jojo on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:11 PM

I'm sorry that it came to this, but I'm glad that you stood up for what you believe is right. 

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