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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I spank my autistic child......

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 336 Replies
4 moms liked this
and I tired of getting shit about it!!!

So, i have 7 year old DD. she has high functioning autism and we struggled with how to discipline her effectively. She was completely out of control.

She has been in therapy since her diagnosis at 2. Her steriotipical autistic behaviors improved substantially. But her behaviors did not!!

She is so defient. She hurts her sisters and cousins. She throws huge fits. We had tried just about every form of disapline. We did time outs, but they do not work. We took away toys but she has little to no play skills so she does not care about toys, or anything material. We tried ever bevahior chart positive/ negitive, done it all with no success.

She has a therapist and she gives us all these ideas but they never work or work temperarely. We even did an intensive behavioral program. It worked initially, but despite us being super consistent it fell apart and stopped working.

We always had been against spanking and never had spanked any of our kids. Time outs and losing toys work wonderfully with my other 2 kids.

We actually asked her therapist about trying spanking. She said, it is not really recommended for her with autism. But, if she were my kid, I would try it.



Then when we did decide to spank her it made a big impact on her. And for the 1st time ever after she came out and independently apologized.

But, we found due to her autism we needed to modify our method.

So this is what we ended up finding works.

***
She has charts for warning, she has 3 boxes on her chart. For each warning she gets an X in a box. When all 3 are filled she gets a spanking session. (We call it 3 strikes your out). We have to talk clearly and in short precise language about why she is getting spanked. And it has to be a quick spanking. While standing beside one of us so we can look at her and clearly making eye contact we expain why she is getting spanked ..... she gets 1 hand spank, then she is reminded why she is being spanked, then 2-3 more hand spanks. Then it is quiet time in her room till she chooses to come out and talk.


i hate having to spank, but this kid has taught me you gotta do what works!!!

Wondered if anyone has special needs kids that they spank? If you do, do others give you a hard time for it?

And I also though sharing my story may help others struggling with similar issues.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
earthangel217
by Spunky Sparkles on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:47 PM
8 moms liked this

Sorry I'm going to be of no help.  I couldn't get very far because of your spelling and grammar.  Just, bump I guess. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:48 PM
Well okay??!

Quoting earthangel217:

Sorry I'm going to be of no help.  I couldn't get very far because of your spelling and grammar.  Just, bump I guess. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:48 PM
18 moms liked this
These bitches are gonna eat you alive. But personally I say do what works.
laranadtony
by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:51 PM
5 moms liked this

You'd better do what works. I failed to continue spanking with my autistic son because it was not the "in" thing and he ...well, I should have paddled his ass since nothing else worked.


QueenAtargatis
by Gold Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:53 PM
ugh. I have no words.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:53 PM
8 moms liked this
Well if it works and she's seeing it as a consequence then I don't see the big deal. Parents of special needs kids don't always discipline their kids so it's good that you've found a way to do it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:55 PM
15 moms liked this

So you use violence against a child that is prone to it and your child is still violent? Seems like its working out well. 

britt6
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:55 PM
4 moms liked this

I have three on the spectrum and yours reminds me of my eldest. We have never spanked, not that we are opposed, we just never did. The "huge fits" you are referring to are completely normal even with a high functioning/aspie. They are referred to as "meltdowns" and they are generally due to over stimulation so there is no point in spanking your child for being overstimulated. In fact the best thing you can do is remove your child from the situation and place them in an area that is quiet or quieter at least. 

I find it hard to believe that you actually stuck with any of the recommended work/discipline that was recommended being that your child is only 7 years of age. That is not enough time to stick with much of anything even considering she was diagnosed so young. It took my oldest from the age of 15 months until the age of 9 before he quit screaming for every answer. It was just one of his quirks. 

Now I Am not being judgmental, however I do have to "make a judgment" and that is this; Judging by the grammar/syntax and over all thought process you seem to be struggling a bit yourself. Are you or your spouse on the spectrum as well? Just asking, please don't take that the wrong way.

Lastly, who diagnosed your daughter? 

numonestunar
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:56 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow. I'm all for spanking but a fucking spanking session?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:57 PM
12 moms liked this

If it works it works. Autistic kids are not stupid - they can be highly intelligent and master manipulators; I  have seen more than one use their diagnosis to get away with murder because spanking is taboo. 

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