So, i have 7 year old DD. she has high functioning autism and we struggled with how to discipline her effectively. She was completely out of control.
She has been in therapy since her diagnosis at 2. Her steriotipical autistic behaviors improved substantially. But her behaviors did not!!
She is so defient. She hurts her sisters and cousins. She throws huge fits. We had tried just about every form of disapline. We did time outs, but they do not work. We took away toys but she has little to no play skills so she does not care about toys, or anything material. We tried ever bevahior chart positive/ negitive, done it all with no success.
She has a therapist and she gives us all these ideas but they never work or work temperarely. We even did an intensive behavioral program. It worked initially, but despite us being super consistent it fell apart and stopped working.
We always had been against spanking and never had spanked any of our kids. Time outs and losing toys work wonderfully with my other 2 kids.
We actually asked her therapist about trying spanking. She said, it is not really recommended for her with autism. But, if she were my kid, I would try it.
Then when we did decide to spank her it made a big impact on her. And for the 1st time ever after she came out and independently apologized.
But, we found due to her autism we needed to modify our method.
So this is what we ended up finding works.
She has charts for warning, she has 3 boxes on her chart. For each warning she gets an X in a box. When all 3 are filled she gets a spanking session. (We call it 3 strikes your out). We have to talk clearly and in short precise language about why she is getting spanked. And it has to be a quick spanking. While standing beside one of us so we can look at her and clearly making eye contact we expain why she is getting spanked ..... she gets 1 hand spank, then she is reminded why she is being spanked, then 2-3 more hand spanks. Then it is quiet time in her room till she chooses to come out and talk.
i hate having to spank, but this kid has taught me you gotta do what works!!!
Wondered if anyone has special needs kids that they spank? If you do, do others give you a hard time for it?
And I also though sharing my story may help others struggling with similar issues.