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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Update: My DD is asking about her father and now my deception is coming back to haunt me

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 37 Replies

When I was young I was a very good girl I did not lose my virginity until I was 20 and that was with a guy I had been dating for 3 years. After college I went to Australia with 4 friends on vacation as a graduation gift to myself. For some reason I became the opposite of me and went completely wild.  I had  I guess we will call it a week fling with a local guy there. I thought we were careful but somehow 4 weeks after coming back home I found out I was pregnant. The thing is me and the guy actually kept in touch and he told me he liked me but for some reason I never told him I was pregnant and I backed off of even calling him. I just knew we wanted different things and I had a good job so I could support my child by myself. Fast forward 13 years later Now my DD is starting to ask about her father and i  am wandering if its time to come clean and tell her everything. I know what I did was selfish and I have come to regret my actions and now wish I had given him a chance to be a father. But now I am worried if I tell her and  she wants to track him down it may not go well.  Everyone else but the friends who went me does not know the truth about my DD father.  They think he was just a one night stand in Australia and that I could  not find him. My parents even think that.

Update:

I called the number i had for him yesterday. It was still in service and a woman answered. It was his mother. I told her I was a old friend of her sons and i needed to talk to him. She gave me his number. After 2 hours of deciding what I was going to say. I called him and told him. It was hard and i could hear the hurt inhis voice. He said that he would like to meet her and that he could plan to take some time off of work so he could meet her and so that we can talk and I can explain to him fully why I did not tell him. He also has a 7 year old son but him and his childs mother are divorced. I am sitting her down tonight and telling her everything. She is 13 and I know she can handle it and I just hope that someday she will forgive me even though I do not deserve it. Everyone makes mistakes and this was my mistake and it was a huge one. I am just glad it sounds like her dad is interested in having a relationship with her. Thanks to everyone who had constructive comments for me and was just not trying to beat me down. I know it was wrong I admit it and i am trying to make up for it, if I can.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
findingserenity
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:03 AM
ur daughter deserves the truth
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:03 AM

Tell her the truth. She could probably look him up on Facebook or something.

missmamaof4
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:04 AM
You should have came clean 13 years ago!
JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:05 AM

I believe in telling kids the truth about biological parents.  IMO it would be easier on her now than later.  If she's asking she deserves to know the whole truth.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:07 AM
You need to come clean. It may be hard but they both deserve to know. As a parent our job is to do what's right for our children, not what's easiest on the parent. Good luck
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:15 AM


I know and I feel absolutely horrible about this. I really not only have to answer to my DD but her father as well. She has already asked me if I knew his name so I could help her find him.  But I guess I have to pay for what I did. I understand that.

Quoting Anonymous:

You need to come clean. It may be hard but they both deserve to know. As a parent our job is to do what's right for our children, not what's easiest on the parent. Good luck



Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Tell her the truth. Do  you still know how to contact him? He deserves to know as well.

jeweldragons
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:17 AM

She deserves to know about her father and her father deserves to know about her. 

.Milfshake.
by SoNastySoRude on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:19 AM



Quoting missmamaof4:

You should have came clean 13 years ago!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I woul find him first and come clean to him before you let your 13 year old find him. If he has no interest in knowing her it would better to know that before she gets hurt.
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