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I Beat my Son with a Poolstick (Long Im sorry :( ) UPDATE 1, 2, 3

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

First no I am not a troll by any means. What I went through tonight was just pure hell but I had no choice.

My oldest son has had anger issues since he was a child, nothing to severe just enough he would self-harm. Not that those acts in themselves aren't serious, just could have been worse.  We got him the help he needed and had little to no problems from 12 years old till now.

My son and his wife (shes about 5 weeks out from the birth of my first grandbaby! Yay me lol) recently moved into our basement so that he could finish his degree and they could have a year to get a head start on paying for his loans and what not.  She already has her degree in nursing and makes a very good living on that which is what allowed my son to finish his without upset to their finances.

So anyways my father passed away a year ago and his estate was finally handed out.  As my son was the only surviving grandchild (I am an only child and I lost my oldest daughter to SIDS) he was given a hefty amount to say the least. My father made me executor (I guess thats what you would call it) over my son's inheritance as he is not yet 30.  I knew they were saving for a home and I agreed that half of his inheritance would be paid directly to a home of their choice.

This would take care of all but 20 thousand on their home so needless to say their mortgage payments would be very small, nothing my daughter in law couldnt handle on her own till he graduates and is in his career field.

So we celebrated them being approved and moving in next month.  My family went to this little hole in the wall gastro pub.  Best food I have ever had, the Bangers and Mash was beyond good.  My son and DH had quite a bit to drink but the night went very good.

We came home and DIL put the little one to bed (her sister kept the baby while we were out) but my son was for some reason getting very angry with the fact that the baby was crying.  He started getting louder and louder and my husband went down to hush him up.  Well all at ounce I could hear shouting and things breaking downstairs so I ran down to see what was up.

My son had hit his father hard enough it knocked him out.  When I got down there he was choking his wife with the baby in her arms.  Prior to becoming involved with my DH i was in a severely abusive relationship and Im not sure what happened but something in me snapped.  I tried several times to pry his hands off her but hearing my grandchild scream just went through me.

We have a rather large pool table set up downstairs.  My first thought was to get him away from the baby and his wife who by now has turning blue around the lips.  So I did something that is now making me doubt myself.  I beat the ever loving shit out of my son with a poolstick until he let her go.  I know hes going to have to have medical attention but honestly I could care less.

So after the police came, arrested him, and made the report I told them he was not to return to the house and that I wanted a protection order issued.  DIL also agreed to have a protection order issued for her and the baby. My husband is extremely angry with me for several reasons.  First being that I called the police and second being that I intentionally kicked the shit out of our child.

I will not promote, support or be associated with a man that would willingly beat his wife with their newborn in her arms.  Period.  When he chose, drunk or not, to wrap his hands around her throat he was no longer my son but just an abusive drunk.  Im so angry right now that Im shaking while I type this.

DIL was worried about where her and my grandchild would stay and I told her that her home is here with us.  I also am going to have my name put on the mortgage for their home with the exception that should he come "home" he has to be in phsycological treatment and anger management classes.  It was the only way that I could think of to secure my grandbaby's home.  My DIL is as dear to me as my next breath and is seriously the kindest, most unselfish person I have seen in my 51 years.

Hubby is threatening to leave should I go through with this or the charges.  I told him if that is how he felt that was fine and he could pack his bags in the morning, but that I was not going to coddle and make excuses for my grown son harming his wife.

Now that the dust has settled a bit Im conflicted as to wether or not I acted on my own past (trigger) or if me fully supporting DIL and for the most part turning my back on my DS was the right thing to do?  Im accepting of any opinions so "bash" away if you must but I would honestly like to see some opinions on what I should do in the future.  Tonight is done and over with as far as Im concerned. 

**Tiny Update**

DH has taken it upon himself to relocate to a hotel for the night.  I told him to contact our old realtor to find himself an apartment.  If he is going to condone the beating of his DIL while holding HIS GRANDBABY then obviously my son's mental instability lies with his paternal side of the family. DIL is on her way to the hospital to get checked out.  She has a seizure disorder and cant really remember if she knocked her head on anything so we arent taking any chances.  Im sitting here watching my newborn grandson sleep and that has made up my mind for me.  This wont happen to him ever, once a man in a drunken rage hits someone it will continue and in my experience will start to happen without the need of alcohol.  

DIL was very upset that DS did this to her but shes as firm as I am, you put your hands on me once and thats the last time.  I told her that I would support her if she chose to divorce him for it and that I would always be there to back her up one hundred percent. 

She said shes not sure if shes ready to put an axe in their relationship but she said for the forseeable future she is not calling him husband.  I told her either which way she goes is okay with me.  Both of her parents are deceased (mother died when she was 12 from breast cancer and she lost her father 13 months ago to a massive heart attack) so she truly has no one to go to about this.  I told her regardless of what she choses or what happens I will not turn my back on her.

As long as she loves my grandbaby and does right by him then I will do anything and everything I can to make sure Paxton has the life every child needs.

By the way as of now his charges are 2 counts of domestic violence (one for the baby as my DS apparently scratched the top of his little head nothing serious though) one count of child endangerment and one count of assault.  All felonies.  They said the prosecutor could upgrade or downgrade the charges but his bond hearing is set for Monday.  

**Update 2**

DIL was admitted for observation and had two gramma seizures.  Due to the medication they have had to give her my little grandbaby is going to have to rough it for a little while on formula.  Shes still pumping at the hospital but the baby cannot have it. Shes devastated and rightly so but with my support (No I am not forcing her) shes going to go through with the charges.  She had more injuries than we anticipated, two broken ribs, a concussion, and two fractures in her hand.

The baby's scratch this morning has a bit of a bruise to it but it doesn't seem to bother him.  DH and I spoke for several hours and I will be securing a divorce attorney on Monday.  He blames me for a horrible Fathers Day.  My husband has been on disability for 8 years and has not worked.  The money we do have is solely mine (Thank Goodness my parents taught me to invest lol) and all of our homes and vehicles are in my name.  I have cancelled his joint card to my bank account, he will not be sending my DS anything from my account.

A detective will be at DIL's hospital room tomorrow morning and I will be there also.  I am not going to have any charges brought against me for defending her thank god.  I was somewhat worried but at any rate I am leaving to go spend the day at her hosital room with the baby.  Shes missing him terribly.  I sat and thought about my DH throwing away 32 years being together (23 of that was our marriage) and for some reason I am okay with this.

Due to the fact that he will not defend his grandchild or DIL he is no better to me than my DS, they deserve each other.  DS has called here this morning and is hysterical.  Hes asked multiple times for DIL hospital room number but I will not give it to him unless she says that is okay with her. I made it clear to him that I love him but I will not advocate an abuser for any reason.

DS says he doesnt remember much of it but hearing the baby cry.  I asked him if he was able to lose control just because the baby cried what else could happen?  He didnt have any answers for me but tried to tell me multiple times that he isn't this type of man.  I offered him to pay for his counseling and what not but I would do no more for him.  

I have to get out of here now but I will update tomorrow after his bond hearing to tell you guys his final charges and what not.  Thank you so much to those women who supported my decision to protect the innocents in this situation.  I am so sorry to hear some of the ladies here were not that fortunate.  It seems as though women have to accept being abused nowadays as if its the latest fashion.  Its up to us to stop the cycle and Im starting with my DS.  Have a wonderful Fathers Day!

Update 3

To say the last couple of days has been easy would be an outright lie.  DIL is now home and on the road to mending.  The bruises have really come out and she is absolutely embarassed to go out of the house for any reason.  My son's bond was set at $100,000.  The charges are as follows:

1 count Abduction F3 (I found out at the hospital later that he had thrown her cell against the wall and grabbed her by the hair when she tried to run upstairs)

1 count Child Endangerment F4 (from what I was told due to grandbaby's age is why they are seeking a felony charge?)

1 count Assault F3

2 counts Domestic Violence (One for grandbaby and one for my DIL)

My DH is refusing to follow through with any charges for my son knocking him out.

DS is now on suicide watch in jail.  Hes entered a "No Contest" plea with the court and Grand Jury is set for next Wednesday at 10 a.m.

DIL is very sad, she crys alot and all I know to do is give her breaks from the little one and hold her when she needs it.  My attorney told me to start the seperation from my husband and I have.  Thats all getting together and we may be able to have it expedited because DS is grown and the house, cars, and bank accounts are mine I had prior to the marriage.

My lawyer advised me (thank you ladies!) to postpone the closing on DIL's (yes HER home) house until my divorce is final. We are going to work out the kinks when that comes around.

My grandboy is awake I have to run but will update more in the morning! Thank you all so very much for being so supportive!

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:33 AM
Replies (331-336):
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:02 AM
You are amazing! I'm sorry you had to go through this. But had you not done everything you did your DIL an grandbaby could be dead. Then what. Never question a mamas guy instinct.
I applaud you!!!
by Anonymous 64 on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:15 AM
*grand mal* seizures not gramma seizures.

Sorry for what you are going through. That is awful.
by Anonymous 65 on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:21 AM

what your son needs is clearly an intervention - from both mom and dad. Having his dad by his side is only going to delay him from coming to his senses.  Now he is going to think he did nothing wrong and you are over-reacting.

This is called tough-love people, and we need to give it to our children sometimes.

by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:25 AM
1 mom liked this


by ThePonds on Jun. 28, 2013 at 6:38 AM
Your dil and grandson are lucky to have you. And in all honestly, if I caught either one of my kids doing that, I would have done the same exact thing! Good luck.
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 7:11 AM
Way to go! I hope things start to get better for you.
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