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What moms of special needs children really want 0

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 251 Replies
27 moms liked this
Its not to be judged or made fun of. It's not or to have others call your child a snowflake and claim its an insult to you.

What we really want is understanding. We are not asking for special treatment all the time. We are not asking for the world to revolve around our child. We are asking for people not to judge us or our child, we are asking for a simple smile when you see a mom having a hard time with their child.

Would it be so hard for you to let an sn child go first sometimes. Doesn't everyone deserve to have a little magic in their life at least once? Why cant an sn child go to Disney or the zoo or anything of the sort without being judged. Don't they deserve that?

You moms of normal kids don't go through what we go through. You are to here when my son comes to me crying because no one will play with him. You are not here when he cries to me asking if he will ever be normal. You are not here when he goes into full meltdown mode because someone accused him of doing something he didn't do. You are not here when I have to comfort my son when he is screaming and at the same time comfort dd because she is scared. You are not here when I'm sitting in the hospital while my son is in surgery or the third time this year or sitting in the hospital while my son gets I've fluids and is trying to perk up for the second time this year. You didn't drive with us when we went to Standford for a surgery at 4am. You are fighting the school with me when the school tries to cover up the fact my son was being bullied and scared to go to school. Or when my neighbors tell their kids not play with ds because he is different. Your not here when people treat him like he is contagious.

We don't get to go to parties or bday parties. We don't celebrate July forth. We don't celebrate new years. He doesn't get to have sleep overs. Why you ask, because he is terrified if fireworks, he is terrified of jumpers.

You don't have to deal with irrational fears that an sn child might have.

I'm not saying all parents of sn children feel this way. I know some use their child's disability as an excuse and some do believe they should get special treatment all the time. What I am saying is, don't judge all of us based on the few. We are not all the same, we are not all aski g for the same special treatment.

We ask for a simple smile, we ask for progress not perfection.

So the next time you are out somewhere and you see a child acting up, please consider that the child may not have the ability to behave as you think they should. And give the mom a smile.

And tonight when your children go to bed, hug them like you never have before. And thank god you don't go through what many of us through on a daily basis.

Do you even know what it's like to watch your child sleep and wonder why he's is the way he is? I do, it's not a good feeling.

Edit: For the idiots that can't read. I'm not asking for special treatment or pity. All I'm asking for is understanding, a little compassion. We don't go out in public with the sole purpose of disrupting your life. If my sons disability offends you, then maybe you should leave or just stay home.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mamabearjkda
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:02 PM

ALl my mama wanted was a break. She raised 2 special needs children.

Lauriemom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:04 PM

Beautifully said :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:06 PM
3 moms liked this
I forgot to add sleep, a break and sex. Lol


Quoting mamabearjkda:

ALl my mama wanted was a break. She raised 2 special needs children.


kaiser10123
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:06 PM
2 moms liked this
Amen...I'm tired of defending my child so I've stopped. My creator makes no mistakes so my child is the way he is for a reason. He has made me a better mother and a better woman. I've learned to be more patient, more understanding, and more accepting. I've finally found peace and wouldn't change a thing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:07 PM
Thank you


Quoting Lauriemom:

Beautifully said :)


mamabearjkda
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:08 PM

lol I get no sleep, or breaks or sex and I don't have special needs children. I grew up with 2 brothers who are special needs and I still don't know how my mom did it. She is a very strong lady to be able to handle the challenges that were laid out for her.

Quoting Anonymous:

I forgot to add sleep, a break and sex. Lol


Quoting mamabearjkda:

ALl my mama wanted was a break. She raised 2 special needs children.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:09 PM
12 moms liked this

No one is asking your special needs child to perform behaviors they are not capable of. We are asking YOU, the mom, to remove your child from the situation when he gets out of control.

I'm sorry your life is difficult, but that doesn't mean you get to disturb an entire store or restaurant while your child rolls on the floor screaming for 10 min. We aren't judging your kid - we are only judging you.

TaughtTot
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:10 PM
14 moms liked this

Im a mom to a "normal" kid, if that is the way to refer to him, he has no cognitive impairments that we know of.  I am a teacher to children who have Downs syndrome and Autism and I can say, being a teacher to this population has actually made me a better, more patient mom, and has also made me expect more out of my own child.

I even saw a lady at walmart, a walmart story, but this time a good one, her son was probably 10 or 11, riding in the basket of the cart, hitting himself and screaming, I walked over to her, told her what I do for a living and I said, make him get out of the cart.  She took him out, she was in tears by this point.  I said, now have him help, remember he is hands on, let him be hands on. Tell him what to grab from the shelf and don't ask, if he grabs the wrong thing ignore that item, put it back and then point to it.  

I saw her as I was wrapping up my shopping trip later on and she just smiled at me, her son was walking with her. Not screaming, not tantrumming, not acting out.  

Some people just need guidance, I think as moms to "normal" kids, we don't always understand what a mom of a special needs child is going through, I know I wouldn't know a solution if I hadn't been doing this as a job for so long.

egrzesik91
by Bronze Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:11 PM
Agreed!
blsdbyangel07
by Evil Food Lady on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this

I concur :)

I've been blaming myself for a long time.  It's difficult enough than to have someone stare & judge the heck outta you when your kid throws a fit in the store.  Ask before ASSUMING... at least that's what I ask.  

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