Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Called the police on my FIL

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Last night our extended family came over for a family party, and my FIL had way too much to drink. While my husband had run down to the corner store to get some ice, my FIL  was out the door, with his keys, before anyone realized. My BILs went out to try to get him out of the car, but because he already had the engine running, was belted in and only opened the window a crack, they couldn't stop him.

Everyone shook their heads but seemed to shrug it off. Their house is a 20 minute drive away, and I was appalled. I said I was calling the police and everyone told me not to, but I did anyway because drunk driving is seriously unacceptable.

FIL was arrested and had a BAC of .19. My husband is on my side, but the rest of the family has been calling all morning to get angry with me, saying you shouldn't call the police on family. Apparently he is going to have to pay upwards of $1000+ in fines and will lose his license for a year, which will cost him his job. I stand by what I did.

What do you think?

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 16, 2013 at 5:23 PM
Replies (271-275):
Tatum2U
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Yes as an adult he should be monitoring himself but the law is clear that the host has a legal responsibility too. Call it babysitting if you want to.

Quoting purplerobin:


Yes prevention does make sense. If she happens to notice her FIL drunk she should try and stop him from driving drunk. Where it goes too far is expecting her to babysit him during the party, and if people are saying "she shouldn't have let him drink so much" well that's babysitting. And something she shouldn't have to do. Her FIL is a big boy and he needs to act like it. It's HIS responsibility to not drink too much, and drive.


Quoting Tatum2U:

Prevention is much better then having an emergency . Absolutely makes sense .



Quoting purplerobin:


Just because that's the law doesn't mean it's a law based on common sense.



Quoting Anonymous:

Once again , legally , as the hostess , you too are responsible.





Quoting Anonymous:

When someone is a responsible adult, they don't get smashed at a family party because no one is babysitting them. 

They don't steal keys from their wife's purse.

They don't slip out the door and drive off when their sons try to tell him to get out and stop.

He's a grown man who should not have done any of that. I feel bad that it came to calling 911, but it was entirely his fault. 




Quoting Anonymous:

To late dear. When we care about people WO don't allow them to get that intoxicated in our homes.







We don't then allow them access to car keys.







We don't allow them to get in a car with keys..







We stop all of that so they don't get into trouble or hurt themselves or other. Covering your ass with a 911 call is not the same.







Quoting Anonymous:

Which is part of why I called the police. If he had caused an accident, I could have also gotten in legal trouble. 





Quoting Anonymous:

Your home your responsibility.. the Law recognizes that.









Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't serve him. My husband and I provided some beer and wine for dinner. Anyone who wanted to drink anything else brought their own. There were 30 people at my house, he's a grown man who was attending with his DD and he does not normally behave like this. I did not feel the need to babysit him. 






Quoting Anonymous:

I would be saying something different if she didn't continue to serve a person until they were drunk.











Quoting ACDC_fan:

Family or not, I don't care. I would call in a heartbeat.
I gaurantee you everyone would be singing a different tune had he smashed into another car and killed somebody. 


























je80ss
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 3:37 PM
And who is going to protect the innocent people in FRONT of the DRUNK DRIVER that he could potentially injure or kill???


Quoting Anonymous:

I wouldn't call on my FIL

We don't get the police involved in anything with our family

You would be surprised with what we handle ourselves.

Someone would have followed him home in my family.


soccermomma72
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 3:40 PM

You did the right thing

purplerobin
by Silver Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 5:47 PM


Well that's what it is-babysitting. What elae would you cll it....amd dont give me legal jargon either. I don't think the host should have a legal responsibility beyond calling the cops.

Quoting Tatum2U:

Yes as an adult he should be monitoring himself but the law is clear that the host has a legal responsibility too. Call it babysitting if you want to.

Quoting purplerobin:


Yes prevention does make sense. If she happens to notice her FIL drunk she should try and stop him from driving drunk. Where it goes too far is expecting her to babysit him during the party, and if people are saying "she shouldn't have let him drink so much" well that's babysitting. And something she shouldn't have to do. Her FIL is a big boy and he needs to act like it. It's HIS responsibility to not drink too much, and drive.


Quoting Tatum2U:

Prevention is much better then having an emergency . Absolutely makes sense .



Quoting purplerobin:


Just because that's the law doesn't mean it's a law based on common sense.



Quoting Anonymous:

Once again , legally , as the hostess , you too are responsible.





Quoting Anonymous:

When someone is a responsible adult, they don't get smashed at a family party because no one is babysitting them. 

They don't steal keys from their wife's purse.

They don't slip out the door and drive off when their sons try to tell him to get out and stop.

He's a grown man who should not have done any of that. I feel bad that it came to calling 911, but it was entirely his fault. 




Quoting Anonymous:

To late dear. When we care about people WO don't allow them to get that intoxicated in our homes.







We don't then allow them access to car keys.







We don't allow them to get in a car with keys..







We stop all of that so they don't get into trouble or hurt themselves or other. Covering your ass with a 911 call is not the same.







Quoting Anonymous:

Which is part of why I called the police. If he had caused an accident, I could have also gotten in legal trouble. 





Quoting Anonymous:

Your home your responsibility.. the Law recognizes that.









Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't serve him. My husband and I provided some beer and wine for dinner. Anyone who wanted to drink anything else brought their own. There were 30 people at my house, he's a grown man who was attending with his DD and he does not normally behave like this. I did not feel the need to babysit him. 






Quoting Anonymous:

I would be saying something different if she didn't continue to serve a person until they were drunk.











Quoting ACDC_fan:

Family or not, I don't care. I would call in a heartbeat.
I gaurantee you everyone would be singing a different tune had he smashed into another car and killed somebody. 




























DarksMama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 5:52 PM

Good on ya.

Tell your extended family to explain to THIS girl's family that drunk drivers are ok. Because that's who murdered her and her best friend,  by driving the wrong way on the highway and hitting them head on doing 90 with BAC of .188, only 12 days past her 20th birthday. And the drunk's friends let him drive, knowing he was fucked up.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)