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Am I Wrong for Not Going?!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 88 Replies

So, my mom is having hip replacement surgery today. It's a fairly common surgery so I'm not worried. My mom mentioned wanting me to be there for the surgery but for one, though I live fairly close, I am just not up for driving 3hrs with a 6-month-old. Secondly, I would have to stay at my parents house because we dont have money for a hotel right now (not like they would mind, though) and their neighborhood is very dangerous. They just had a drive-by shooting a week ago. And thirdly, if I do decide to go and stay in their house, my daughter and I would have to stay there alone at night-- in an unsafe neighborhood. So, no, I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable. My mom understood and left it as that. However, my sister texted me this morning. She lives in Arkansas so its not as easy for her to just pick up and drive to NJ. But, she tried to give me a guilt trip for not going. Its not like its frikken open heart surgery!!! It's hip replacement surgery! But shes just assumes that because I'm not working right now and I'm a SAHM, its my obligation to be there. She always says stuff like "well, you're not working, so you need to do this!", "you're a stay-at-home mom, so you need to do this!". Am I wrong for not going and not thinking hip replacement is a huge deal?! I'd go if she was getting frikken a heart surgery or something serious like that-- but a hip replacement?! Idk, am I wrong for not going??

UPDATE: My mother has help during and after the surgery. I am not just leaving her helpless.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:29 AM

BUMP!

USMCwife0530
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:31 AM
3 moms liked this

If it were my mom, I'd stay a couple of days. You can't live in fear thinking something bad is gonna happen.

sugarcrisp
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:31 AM
4 moms liked this

The bitch in me would have told her that if she wanted me there so badly, she could go ahead and pay for my hotel.

crumpy_gat
by No. on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:32 AM

Hmm that's tough.  I would want to be there for her during the surgery, but I wouldn't want to spend the night in that neighborhood.  Can dh go with you?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:33 AM

No, DH has to work...

Quoting crumpy_gat:

Hmm that's tough.  I would want to be there for her during the surgery, but I wouldn't want to spend the night in that neighborhood.  Can dh go with you?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:33 AM
2 moms liked this
I understand your reasoning but somehow I still feel bad for your mom.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:34 AM
1 mom liked this

I would be there...and I live on a different continent!! I wouldn't want my mother going through this alone...Can you just stay at the hosp with her?

crumpy_gat
by No. on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:34 AM

I don't know then.. I would go for the day maybe. 

Quoting Anonymous:

No, DH has to work...

Quoting crumpy_gat:

Hmm that's tough.  I would want to be there for her during the surgery, but I wouldn't want to spend the night in that neighborhood.  Can dh go with you?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:36 AM

I just hip replacement though. Is it really that serious???

Quoting Anonymous:

I would be there...and I live on a different continent!! I wouldn't want my mother going through this alone...Can you just stay at the hosp with her?


dtm1491
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:37 AM
3 moms liked this

I would go and since the neighborhood is so dangerous that you wouldn't sleep in it my Mother wouldn't be for long either. She would be moving soon or living with me.

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