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I may lose my OBGYN tomorrow, Update in Red

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM
  • 560 Replies
5 moms liked this

For those who do not know, I am pregnant with twin girls. I am due Oct. 9th. Doctor has told me some things that do not work or fit with my birth plan. I wrote up everything and I want, and will address it all tomorrow. I may lose him tomorrow and have to find someone new...

First off he is a great doctor and came highly reccommended from an ER doctor. He also has a great bedside manner, and will take all the time in the world to answer your questions, etc.

Here are my fears, and what I placed in my birthing plan. Tell me what you think. I don't think anything I asked for is "too much". Do you? Underneath I will put my fear, and why I am concerned.

1. I would like my sister and husband to attend the birth. They are my birthing support people. My sister should be allowed to stay as long as there is no medical reason why she cannot be there, which should only be because of an extreme emergency, and not on the assumption that there "may be" an emergency. Both my husband, (his name) and sister, (her name), should be allowed to remain with me unless that emergency should arise.

(REASON - My doctor said no sister just husband  during the actual birthing because he wanted me to deliver in an Operating room just in case I needed a C-section. He said she could be there only while laboring, but once I was close to giving birth he wanted me in the OR just in case. I say bullshit! Just in case?! So we are going to make a problem before there is a problem?! NO!)

2. I want my twins to come on their own time. I do not want to be induced if I go beyond 38 weeks either.

(REASON - Doctor has said I WONT allow you to go beyond 38 weeks. You will NOT go to 40 weeks or beyond. WHY?! He gave no reason when I asked him. BULLSHIT! My body will know when it is time, and my twins will know when it is time. Chances are I won't even make it to 38 weeks, but if I do, don't force me to go early! And my body will open up as neccessary so don't tell me my twins are "too big".)

3. If for some reason induction is neccessary, we need to have a talk about why. I would like to put in my input. Also, if it is deemed neccessary, I would like, if at all possible, NATURAL means of inducement instead of breaking my water, or using pitocin. Medical induction must be used as a last resort or only if there is an emergency.

(REASON - My obgyn seems to think pitocin is god's greatest gift.)

4. I do not want to rush to the hospital at the first signs of labor. I want to be calm, at home, and with my beautiful boys for as long as possible. If I show up at the hospital and I am not 4 centimeters or more dialated, I want the option of going home to rest and wait.

(REASON - My doctor wants me there at the first sign.)

5. I do NOT want a routine IV or heplock unless there is a medical neccessity for it. I want to instead give my body the calories it needs, by being allowed to eat, crackers, cookies, sliced fruit, etc that I will provide. Also, in order to ensure I do not dehydrate, I want to be able to drink water with ice, suck on ice pops, and drink gatorade during the birthing process.

(REASON - My doctor wants me on IV so I don't dehydrate, but I can take care of that naturally.)

6. I do not want blood tests or other lab tests simply because it is routine procedure.

(REASON - I hate needles, and don't want to tense up and become upset, as that will hinder labor, and will cause me unnesseccary pain when it comes to fight or flight mode. I want a calm happy birth.)

7. I would like a private room with subdued lighting and drawn drapes, for both labor and birth, unless an emergency arises where I must leave said room to go to an OR. We want the labor room to be calm and quiet with the exception of my music that will playing for background noise.

(REASON - I want a calm quiet birth.)

8. We will bring our own music via an MP3 player, and a speaker, and will need a place to plug in the items.

(REASON - Music will help keep us calm and in the right mood to do this.)

9. We do not want anyone to offer us any sort of pain medications, if we want them, WE WILL ask for them. If anyone keeps asking, such as a nurse, we will ask on the 3rd time, she be removed.

(I am terrified of needles, I want a calm happy birth, I want to do this with the self hypnosis my husband and I have taken a class on and have been practicing. We will have no need for pain meds, and if someone keeps asking it will shatter the calm quiet birth we want.)

10. I want the blood pressure cuff removed in between readings.

(I want to be comfy.)

11. We would like to use a birthing tub or shower to relax in while I labor.

(The water helps with the pain.)

12. There should be no time limits on me giving birth. I will be using self hypnosis techniques I have learned in the classes I have been taking. It may take more time, but the time is worth it for us to have a pain free relaxed birth. So unless there is an emergency, we should be allowed to take all the time we need.

(self-explanatory)

13. I would like internal exams to be at a minimum, preferably at my request.

(I don't want them checking every 5 to 10 minutes.)

14. I would like to utilize gravity by being allowed to walk around, to squat, and to use a birthing ball. I do not want to do this on my back with my feet in stirrups.

(Gravity naturally will help me go faster).

15. If at all possible, I do not want to use Oxytocin or any other drug to speed up labor. This should be done at my own pace and the babies' paces.

( I dont want unnesseccary drugs introduced into my body unless there is an emergency and it is determined I need them.)

16. I refuse to purple push my babies into the world. There will be no holding of my breath and no one should even tell me to do so. There will be no desperate hard pushes. I want to breathe my babies into the world, not painfully push them into the world.

(self explanatory)

17. Application of oil or hot compresses are to be used to avoid a painful episiotomy.

(Self explanatory)

18. If a medical emergency does arise we must have a discussion, and vacuum extraction is to be used instead of foreceps.

(Foreseps can be extremely dangerous for babies.)

19. We would like to fully complete the birthing process before suctioning the baby.

(Self explanatory.)

20. Right after birth we would like our children and other family to be allowed in the room so they can see and bond with the babies.

(self explanatory)

21. Allow up to 35 to 40 minutes for natural placenta delivery.

(self explanatory)

22. In case of emergency, (of both babies), father of children, (Name), to remain with baby A in the event of a surgical procedre. Baby B to remain with sister (name). If 1 baby needs a surgical procedure, father will go with whichever baby is having issues.

(Someone I trust to be with babies in case of issues)

23. We want skin to skin contact with babies being placed on mother's abdomen immediatly after birth.

(Bonding time)

24. We want to delay cleaning and rubbing baby allowing vernix to be absorbed into babies' skin.

(Vernix is very good for babies.)

25. Delay use of Erythromycin to or other salve for baby's eyes to allow optimal sight for bonding.

(Bonding)

26. Oral Vitamin K is preferred if available. Otherwise, delay injection until after baby is acclimated.

(Again, bonding time)

27. Both breastfeeding and bottle feeding are okay.

(We don't mind a little of both if needed)

28. I want all my baby's procedures to be done in my room with a full explanation of why they are needed so I can either agree or decide not to do them, if possible. I want my babies if possible in the room with us for the duration of our hospital stay unless there is an emergency that dictates otherwise.

(Bonding)

Well that is it. Lets see how flexible my doctor is tomorrow.

 

*** Update - Saw my doctor

Okay so he did NOT run for the hills. However, he was completely against most of what I had written down. I found out that it is hospital policy to give birth in the OR (operating Room), if you are pregnant with twins. So I called 2 other hospitals and they have the same policy.

He was against everything but lighting and music. Because of our differences, I decided to go with a birthing center. I called them today and spoke with them, and they are just fine with my birthing plan. They have delivered 43 sets of twins, and never had a problem. I will give birth IN the birthing center, and it sounds great. My insurance is taken by them so that is also a plus. Everything on my list is fine with them.

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:15 PM
6 moms liked this

5 i understand

you cannot eat before an operation and if you do need a csection it can cause issues

and do you really think they are going to stick around 40 minutes just so you can deliver the placenta? there are other patients to atttend to

HappyMorgana
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:22 PM
2 moms liked this

Doctors do operations ALL THE TIME. Even emergencies right after someone has eaten a greasy cheeseburger right before it with all the fixings. Doctors don't NOT DO IT, they just take extra precautions if they know you have had something to eat right before. Now I am talking about small light snack items, such as fruit, crackers, cookies, etc. Nothing huge or big just enough for my body to get some light calories. And I can drink water and juice, and gatorade as well. Again, the doctor would tell the everyone I had eaten something and they would simply take extra precautions.

As for the placenta, they don't have to be with me every second after I give birth to the twins. They can come and check on me, which they would do anyway until the placenta is out. Even if the placenta came out right away, they would still be checking on me for bleeding, etc.


Quoting silverdawn99:

5 i understand

you cannot eat before an operation and if you do need a csection it can cause issues

and do you really think they are going to stick around 40 minutes just so you can deliver the placenta? there are other patients to atttend to



silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:25 PM
2 moms liked this

yes but if there is an emergency do you really want to waste precious time to get to your babies just because you wanted to eat? you got to wait what five hours max to eat something to make sure your children are born safely?

again that is your priority and your birth plan and no one can tell you what to do but you will also have a hard time finding a doctor this late in pregnancy

Quoting HappyMorgana:

Doctors do operations ALL THE TIME. Even emergencies right after someone has eaten a greasy cheeseburger right before it with all the fixings. Doctors don't NOT DO IT, they just take extra precautions if they know you have had something to eat right before. Now I am talking about small light snack items, such as fruit, crackers, cookies, etc. Nothing huge or big just enough for my body to get some light calories. And I can drink water and juice, and gatorade as well. Again, the doctor would tell the everyone I had eaten something and they would simply take extra precautions.

As for the placenta, they don't have to be with me every second after I give birth to the twins. They can come and check on me, which they would do anyway until the placenta is out. Even if the placenta came out right away, they would still be checking on me for bleeding, etc.


Quoting silverdawn99:

5 i understand

you cannot eat before an operation and if you do need a csection it can cause issues

and do you really think they are going to stick around 40 minutes just so you can deliver the placenta? there are other patients to atttend to




HappyMorgana
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:27 PM


I am only 24 weeks, a little halfway through. I am not like 32 weeks. If he cannot cave on some of these and work with me, than we don't mesh, you know? I need to have a calm, quiet, relaxing birth. Not a hectic, everyone making problems where there is no problem yet birth.

Quoting silverdawn99:

yes but if there is an emergency do you really want to waste precious time to get to your babies just because you wanted to eat? you got to wait what five hours max to eat something to make sure your children are born safely?

again that is your priority and your birth plan and no one can tell you what to do but you will also have a hard time finding a doctor this late in pregnancy

Quoting HappyMorgana:

Doctors do operations ALL THE TIME. Even emergencies right after someone has eaten a greasy cheeseburger right before it with all the fixings. Doctors don't NOT DO IT, they just take extra precautions if they know you have had something to eat right before. Now I am talking about small light snack items, such as fruit, crackers, cookies, etc. Nothing huge or big just enough for my body to get some light calories. And I can drink water and juice, and gatorade as well. Again, the doctor would tell the everyone I had eaten something and they would simply take extra precautions.

As for the placenta, they don't have to be with me every second after I give birth to the twins. They can come and check on me, which they would do anyway until the placenta is out. Even if the placenta came out right away, they would still be checking on me for bleeding, etc.


Quoting silverdawn99:

5 i understand

you cannot eat before an operation and if you do need a csection it can cause issues

and do you really think they are going to stick around 40 minutes just so you can deliver the placenta? there are other patients to atttend to






bluebunnybabe
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:31 PM
3 moms liked this
Wow. What a list. So you're like 6 months? I've heard it's hard to find a new doctor that far along. Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:32 PM
2 moms liked this


However, if there is a high likelihood you may need the surgery, the hospital will make you NPO as a precaution.  If they can avoid those complications, they will do everything within their power to do so.  It is well within their right to do so as long as they provide for those needs in another way.  Allowing you to eat opens them to liability when you aspirate on the operating table.

Honestly, if you see that much conflict with your OB, it's better you find a new doc anyway.  

Quoting HappyMorgana:

Doctors do operations ALL THE TIME. Even emergencies right after someone has eaten a greasy cheeseburger right before it with all the fixings. Doctors don't NOT DO IT, they just take extra precautions if they know you have had something to eat right before. Now I am talking about small light snack items, such as fruit, crackers, cookies, etc. Nothing huge or big just enough for my body to get some light calories. And I can drink water and juice, and gatorade as well. Again, the doctor would tell the everyone I had eaten something and they would simply take extra precautions.

As for the placenta, they don't have to be with me every second after I give birth to the twins. They can come and check on me, which they would do anyway until the placenta is out. Even if the placenta came out right away, they would still be checking on me for bleeding, etc.


Quoting silverdawn99:

5 i understand

you cannot eat before an operation and if you do need a csection it can cause issues

and do you really think they are going to stick around 40 minutes just so you can deliver the placenta? there are other patients to atttend to





Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:34 PM
15 moms liked this

oh sweet baby jesus that is a lot of words

silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:35 PM

lol

Quoting Anonymous:

oh sweet baby jesus that is a lot of words


vvinkyloafer
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:36 PM
13 moms liked this
You know, for being "happy", you make some negative posts.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:36 PM
47 moms liked this

lady... you are bat shit crazy!  wow, if i were your doctor and saw that list i'd run for the hills and fast!

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