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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My MIL chose a dog over her grandchildren

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 95 Replies

SIL is moving back in with MIL and FIL due to her ending her engagement with the fiance she was living with. She has this dog, I don't know what breed but it is a smaller dog, probably 10-15 lbs and very hyperactive.

In the past, when we, me, DH and our children, 4 year old DD and twin 20 month old boys visit the dog is always a problem. They will lock the dog in the laundry room for a while but then SIL gets upset about her "baby" crying and lets her out when no one is looking and refuses to put her back. When this happens, she will jump up on my kids. While she is not a big dog, my kids are young and she can easily knock the little ones down. She also scratches and nips. So at that point, we have to leave for the safety of the kids. MIL and FIL don't see the "big deal" about the dog "playing" with the kids.

Well MIL has asked to have the kids on Thursday mornings, just to have time to herself with the kids. It has worked out well so far, they enjoy it and truth be told, it is nice to have the morning to myself. Well when I found that SIL was moving in, I told MIL that if she moves the dog in, the Thursday mornings will stop because I don't trust that they will keep the dog locked up when the kids are there since they don't even keep her locked up when we are there. Plus, SIL refuses to pick up after her dog outside and so the kids can't play outside because I don't want them stepping in dog crap (this has happened before).

MIL said she just can't tell SIL not to bring her dog and she feels bad telling her to keep her locked up, even while we are there, because SIL can't have children so this dog is her baby.

Maybe I am wrong but it feels like MIL is choosing a dog over her grandchildren. It would be one thing if I could trust them to lock the dog up or if the dog was well behaved but that's just not the case. I feel like telling MIL, the dog is not SIL's kid, it's a dog.


Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:03 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:03 PM

BUMP!

mysticalmalissa
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:06 PM
7 moms liked this

Have your MIL come to your place and hang out.

Redwoods_Mama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:09 PM
3 moms liked this

Well, MIL made her choice.  I wouldn't say anything further about it.

I'm sorry though.  I love my dog to bits but if he made someone uncomfrotable, he'd be locked in my room and stay there.

Dewinter
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:10 PM
4 moms liked this
your mother in law is absolutely choosing a dog over your children. I would put my foot down like you are and say she can come to my house but the kids are not going to stay at her house. You are your children's protector make sure they come first.
jennj76569
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:10 PM

Have you tried to plea with you SIL Im sure your MIL doesnt want to feel like she is choosing sides , she may just not want to upset her daughter and you never can tell how people think or perceive situations , so if you havent tried pleaing with SIL or having your husband have a nice calm conversation with her if she is mature im sure she will abide if not than im sorry you have a butt for an in law..

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't have pets but some family members do.  These dogs are their babies no way around it.  Your MIL is just trying to keep peace.  Discontinue the visits to Grandma's but offer her to come to your house.  You can get out and do some errands or have time to yourself while she is there.

 

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Your MIL is in between a rock and a hard place. She will probably keep choosing her daughter's happiness over yours so you will lose the free mornings, that's a shame. Maybe sil can take the dog somewhere else on those mornings? Stepping in dog poo never killed anybody, she should clean it up but I wouldn't make an issue of it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:12 PM

She doesn't like to make the drive, it is over 30 minutes and she doesn't like to drive any further then the grocery store 5 minutes away from her. FIL does the driving other then that but he works so the time they could come over would be very limited

Quoting mysticalmalissa:

Have your MIL come to your place and hang out.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:12 PM
1 mom liked this

i got to say it again the dog needs to be trained how to act around people. and kids... the kids also need to understand the dog to.. yes even that young. my mom and dad had a dog that was food agressove where if you got anyway by him when he had food he would bite. well guess what i told my kids not to go by the dog when he was eating.. it work for us.. plus the dog would sleep wtih my kids. just when he had food was the problem.. so all it takes is training of both the dog and the kids.. sorry  so put your big girl pants on and get over it.

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