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i NEVER thought my kids would be those kids

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:17 PM
  • 42 Replies

 I am just stressed and embarressed. I never in my worst nightmares dreamed my kids would be the kids to say "my dad is in prison"

ex isnt there yet but its about to happen with this latest DWI (already has a felony DWI so prison is a sure thing).

I can handle him not being around. not that it will be easy, he is still one of my best friends.

but I am having the hardest time when i think about my kids, especially my 9 year old. kids talk, kids ask questions.... evenutally it will come out that her dad is in prison. kids shouldnt have to tell people that. kids shouldnt be 'marked' because of thier parents choices... but you know teachers etc will think 'something' when they learn of it.

but what else could she say? i dont believe in lying... maybe she can just say he lives out of town... that wouldnt be a lie.

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
skittleshawk
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:55 PM
3 moms liked this

theres a seasame street video you all should watch about this very thing

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:57 PM

Theres also my dad drove drunk and couldnt care if he killed himself or others and has done it more than once. He belongs in jail where he cant kill.


ROBIN-C
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:16 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Theres also my dad drove drunk and couldnt care if he killed himself or others and has done it more than once. He belongs in jail where he cant kill.

 

 youre so mature

Princess_s21
by Sarah on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this

 Its really tough on the kids, honestly its not fair at all, when adults do things like this I wish they thought about their families and what they have to go through because of their actions! All you can do is explain it age appropriately and explain their father did some irresponsible things etc, be honest and clear, help them with dealing with questions from others and you can try to keep it as personal as you can, you dont have to go around announcing it or making it common knowledge, of course their are gong to be people that know, but it can be kept to a minimum for your childrens sake.

Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:25 PM

That's sad. 

My step daughters mother is in prison. We've never lied to her about it...as hard as it is..we have always told her the truth.

MicheleJM
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Why would the teachers think anything?  It isn't their business.

Your child can just say her dad isn't around.  She doesn't need to explain herself to anyone unless she wants to.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:35 PM

my daughter is 4 and her father has already been to jail once. she actually handled it all very well. now he is on probation though and if he breaks it he could do up to 30 years. idk how i would deal with that situation since he would basically miss her whole life. but children shouldnt have to feel ashamed because of choices their parents have made. ill never teach my daughter to hide anything like that, if people are going to judge them then they dont need to be in their lives, the sooner a kid learns that the better!

Roxygurl
by Sapphire Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I've got nothing to say to you about your situation. My aunt was killed by a low life drunk asshole like your baby daddy and she left behind a 3 and a 5 year old who never really got to know their mom.
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Ichthus
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:13 PM

That sounds really hard. Just talk as openly as you can with your kids about what's going on and how they feel, what they think, as much as they need to. Try to instill in them that they can come to you about anything. Share with them how you feel about it. Maybe try to find a man you trust to be in their lives; a grandfather, uncle, teacher. I think it would be okay for you to have your kids say he lives out of town. Technically, he does, right? Tell them they don't have to share anything they don't want to with anyone. I hope you have some understanding, loving people around your family to help you through this. I'm sorry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 18, 2013 at 1:24 AM
One of my best friend's daughter(8) wrote a song about her father that isn't a Dad bc he can't stay out of trouble. She sang it at her school's talent show. It was very heart-wrenching to hear about... Especially the end.
But I'm glad that she is growing up to realize that his poor choices have hurt her and sisters and will dissuade her from taking the path he is on. This last time she was in the backseat when he lied to the cops about his name and told him off. It's hard on children but use it as a way to teach them. My DD is 6, and has also learned from seeing this. I have explained that he makes bad choices and that's what happens. Don't shelter them by lying, that will just break their trust with you when they find out the truth. I do recommend getting them counseling though. I know it's helped with my friend's DDs.
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