When I first met my SO, we had sex constantly. Our first time was 4 HOURS LONG!!! Guy is AMAZING in bed! Or was. We've been together 2 years on and off. Well, last summer, we made the choice to be completely on and ended up getting pregnant. Ever since then, the sex has all but stopped. He's had some health issues, some stomach and joint problems. We're still not sure what the deal is with that. Also, there's the pregnancy to deal with. Complete surprise. Long story short, I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant. It was like only 3% possible, but I guess we got there anyway. lol We were both very surprised but we're happy about our DD. She should be here in the next 6 weeks. Before it's suggested, he knows he will not hurt the baby. He's gone with me to talk to the doctor and the doctor has encouraged us to have sex as much as we feel we want to.
We have sex MAYBE once a week, and it's MAYBE 10 minutes before he climaxes and we're done. He says that it just isn't something he worries about right now, what with all the other worries on our minds. He'll say he's hurting or not feeling well and that will be that. Ok, well, I feel like he's just not attracted to me anymore. Not with the pregnancy being so pronounced and all. I've only gained about 20 lbs, but I feel like most of that is in my butt. He says that he's great with that and thinks I'm still as sexy as ever. It's just that I don't feel like he likes me anymore. He likes to cuddle or whatever but if I so much as bring up sex recently, he gets upset. Case in point: We haven't had sex since last Wednesday and I haven't mentioned much about it, just a few teasing comments here and there. Well, last night was father's day so I thought, "Hey, why not?" and I tried to get him in the mood. I'd make naughty comments even flashed him some boob a time or two. He'd laugh and roll his eyes. Then, after a few hours of dropping hints, I got impatient and said, "Are we going to have sex tonight?" He got upset and said that "It gets really old when you bring it up all the time!" Ok, we haven't had sex in 4 days, I haven't commented on it except teasing until right then. How is that bringing it up all the time?
Now, I have few coping mechanisms that I can use for stress while I'm pregnant. I can't drink. I can't go to the gym (OB's orders). I don't want to eat my feelings because I've been there, done that and it wasn't fun. Sex was something I used to not only release my stress, but it also helps me feel a bit more secure in my relationship, allows me to get a sense of intimacy with my partner and makes me feel like he might actually want me. With the dramatic decrease in not only frequency but quality, I'm very concerned. I know he's not cheating because we're always home together. Whenever we leave, I'm generally the one driving because of his joint problems and I have full access to his phone whenever I want. I trust in the fact that he's not cheating, but I don't feel like he's attracted to me anymore. I told him last night that I just won't tell him when I want sex anymore. I slept fully clothed, even though it was even more uncomfortable than I normally am and I intend to do so tonight, too. He's already gone to bed and I'm not going for a while. I don't know what to do. I feel very hurt, vulnerable and confused right now. It doesn't help that in past relationships, my ex husband said I was disgusting when I was pregnant and openly cheated on me. What do I do?