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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

UPDATE! My boyfriend wants to throw his dd a birthday party and I say no

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 233 Replies
So my boyfriend has told his kids that for each birthday that they can either choose to go somewhere or have a bday party. The kids know that their mom usually throws them a bday party so they pick to go somewhere with him/us. This consists of taking them and them only somewhere where they can have their dad's attention all to theirselves.

His dd turned 6 and she wanted to go to an amusement park. They did on June 5th and her actual bday was June 6th. That weekend the dd went with her mom. Her mom never had a bday party for her.

So now my boyfriend says since the BM never had the dd a bday party that he might throw one for her. I don't think he should. I'm pretty sure the dd overheard us talking about it because right after we spoke about it, he took her to school and she said that she hopes her mom has her a bday party this weekend (2 weeks after her bday) and if her mom can't do it, if he can (dad).

I said no. It makes me feel bad because I'm the "stepmom" and I'm saying no but here's my thoughts:
He spoils us all-first of all
But this seems like it goes in the direction of the dd playing sides against her mom and dad.
Plus, we spent about $200 on her bday already and we could use the money elsewhere before even spending it on a bday party for a bday that will be 3 weeks old at least by the time we have the party.

What do you think?

By the way, if this was my dd, I would say no as well.
And keep in mind, I live with my boyfriend and his kids, so it's not just HIS money. The kids are with us 50% but lately about 60%.

ETA: Someone suggested that we have a bday cake with family for a little "party". I just realized we did this got her also. Family and a friend of hers came over for dinner and a cake, with presents.

And also, it bugs me that moms will like to say "you're JUST the girlfriend". I know I am. Funny that it's being thrown in my face the day BM is dropping off the kids a day early again.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
firespurity
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:32 PM
Does he have a good co parent relationship with the bio mother? If so maybe he can ask what happened.
Two_Hearts
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:36 PM
5 moms liked this

I wouldn't ...i agree with your reasons for saying no.

URHonor
by Rotten.Girl on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:37 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't think it's so much about step/bm as it is about him keeping his word as a parent. He told her choose and she did. I wouldn't support him going back on his word. 

RazzleMySpazz
by spaztastic on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:37 PM

That's a tough one, I can see both sides and I'm honestly not sure which way I lean..

On one hand there is a standing agreement with the kids, party or special day... but that was sort of agreed on with the knowledge the bio mom throws a party... though it's never a guarantee, it was sort of implied... parties can be expensive.... but she didn't get that party at moms house...

He should talk to mom..... see if they can figure something out....

LyTe684
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:37 PM
3 moms liked this
No. She opted for the amusement park. That's what she got. She should be thankful.
mom31990
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:37 PM
11 moms liked this

it is not your place to say no to his kids birthday party if he wants to throw his daighter a party then leave it and get over yourself this is between the father and mother not the girlfriend

ToolArmy066
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:38 PM


Quoting Two_Hearts:

I wouldn't ...i agree with your reasons for saying no.

Beauty91805
by Platinum Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Agreed


Quoting Two_Hearts:

I wouldn't ...i agree with your reasons for saying no.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:39 PM

WOW!! I am SO GLAD I don't have this step-parenting-type drama!!! Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:39 PM
6 moms liked this

You are not the step mom. You are the girlfriend. If he wants to throw his child a birthday party, that is his choice. 

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