So the last time I talked to this guy I was 9 months pregnant. He never answered the phone or any messages I sent. Then he disappeared for years...no one has ever been able to find him including the state...that is until about 15 minutes ago. I was talking to a friend of mine and she asked me about my son's dad. I told her I hadn't been able to find him since 2006 and then I did a facebook search just to see what would come up and there he was. Like a freaking ghost from the past. My son apparently has (at least) 2 half brothers now. I don't know what to do. My son has a good life, but we are slightly unstable. I could use the support until I can get a good job and (provided he actually wanted something to do with him) I would like my son to know his father. I am so scared to contact him though. What if he tries to take him from me? This guy lives over 22 hours from me...what if he wants/gets visitation and I have to send my kid to someone he has never met and to a place he has never been? I can't afford court costs, I can't stand any additional drama in my life, but is that fair to my son?? I don't know what to do. I need some advice. :( ******************************************************
So my friend and I were complete stalkers this morning. I found the other girl he got pregnant at the same time as me and looked at all her pictures. It is clear that they aren't together and there is not one single picture of them together as a family on her page. There are only 3 pictures of them together on his mother's page, so that tells me that he isn't involved in his other two kids' lives and that they only get together on holidays...if that. That being said, I think it would be pointless to try to contact him. If he isn't involved with the kids who live in the same town as him, why would he be involved with my son who lives 22 hours away??!! I didn't find out any additional information from anyone's fb page that I haven't already turned over to the state in the past few years, so it is all a wash. I don't really want his money or need it. Sure, it would be nice to have some help, but I have made it almost 7 years without it and been through much worse stuff, so it wasn't for money that I was considering contacting him...it was to have a relationship with his son. Apparently that is out of the question, so I give up. I will periodically check his fb just to keep up and then when my son is older, if he wants to contact him, then I will tell him everything I know. I just don't think contacting him would be beneficial to anyone involved. It would only bring drama and potential problems. Nothing is worth hurting my son.