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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm going to give my son to his dad

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
DS is 3, going on 4 soon. I can't deal with him anymore.
He was kicked out of preschool last month (after only 3 weeks) because he kept hitting and being aggressive with the other kids.
We had already scheduled an appointment with his pediatrician before he got kicked out of school. By the time we saw her, he had been kicked out. She said that from her experience, her history with him, and from what we told her, she didn't really see anything wrong with him. Maybe just that he's acting up because it's something new.
My sister watches him for me again. She counted today. He hit her 110 times today. He kicked her 4 times. And had two complete, screaming bloody murder fits.
He's defiant and mean and nasty and I am COMPLETELY at my wits end. I don't have any idea what else to do with him now.
I think I'm going to call his dad and tell him to take him for the rest of the summer. I'll just take him every other weekend like his dad does now.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2013 at 10:31 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2013 at 10:59 PM
It's been going on for a while and has just steadily gotten worse. Some days he's just fine but then there are days like this.
Thank you for the suggestion of recording him though. As obvious as that seems I had not thought about that.


Quoting Anonymous:

Video record his behavior and bring the recording back to the dr.  But don't give up on your child. Did this behavior happen all of a sudden?


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:00 PM
So,the kid has problems,and you're just going to ship him off to a new environment?I'm absolutely positive that will work!!Being without the one person he can count on pretty much 24/7 is exactly what he needs.While you're at it,be prepared for him to come back even worse.SMH
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:01 PM
Is that "normal" for a 3 year old?


Quoting svolkov:

Thats awesome! I happen to be a behavior analyst lol I taught my son the same thing. Sounds like her ds is having some major lack of control issues too




Quoting Jamie1972:


I completely agree with this. My 13 yr old was diagnosed with aggressive behavior when be was 5. after seeing a therapist it was decided that he woukd go on medication to help his mood swings/aggressive behaviors. Now when he recognizes that he's getting mad or frustrated he nit only tells the person ticking him off but he will remove himself from the situation.



Quoting svolkov:

If you think its best then fine . Otherwise get him to a different pediatrician. Obviously something is wrong. A developmental pedi, psychologist, and of possible behavior analyst could do wonders. Dont give up on him mom







Kimberlynn
by Bronze Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:01 PM
I agree! Find him some help.

Quoting svolkov:

If you think its best then fine . Otherwise get him to a different pediatrician. Obviously something is wrong. A developmental pedi, psychologist, and of possible behavior analyst could do wonders. Dont give up on him mom
wrapitwithjodi
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:03 PM

 

I personally can not imagine giving my child to someone else... regardless if it was his father... I just couldnt do it no matter how tough it was. Its like passing him off to take the easy way out.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pretty highly unlikely.


Quoting wrapitwithjodi:

Maybe someone is physically abusing him so to him this is normal....



 

wrapitwithjodi
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:05 PM

 Also, when my step son was that age we found that he was being abused physically by his mother... and he acted out in that way. He wasnt even my kid and I didnt want to pass him off even then.


Quoting wrapitwithjodi:

 

I personally can not imagine giving my child to someone else... regardless if it was his father... I just couldnt do it no matter how tough it was. Its like passing him off to take the easy way out.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pretty highly unlikely.


Quoting wrapitwithjodi:

Maybe someone is physically abusing him so to him this is normal....


 

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you for your suggestions. I'm already getting some ideas on things that may give mr more material for his doctor.


Quoting svolkov:

Start keeping a record of behavior. What happens directly before during and after his bad behavior. Note

Time of day etc. See if u notice any patterns.

Also the best discipline is preventative not punishment. Alter how you do things before they happen. Also sounds like he could really benefit from a schedule. Often a more rigid routine will help reduce kids stress because they know exactly what to expect




Quoting Anonymous:

Oh believe me, I am not his friend. We have done everything over the last year or so. Time outs, counting, spanking, taking toys away, everything I can think of.






Quoting Anonymous:

That child needs some discipline. Try it. Stick to it. You'll be amazed that it works. Be a parent not a friend!



notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:07 PM
1 mom liked this
He'd probably be better off since you obviously don't care and are most likely the reason he acts that way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:07 PM


This is going to sound strange but has he ever had strep infection?  There is something called P.A.N.D.A.S that causes rage in children like you describe with your son (you can google it for more information if you want). It's brought on by a strep infection...instead of being in the throat it goes somewhere else and if left untreated causes the kids to rage.  

Quoting Anonymous:

It's been going on for a while and has just steadily gotten worse. Some days he's just fine but then there are days like this.
Thank you for the suggestion of recording him though. As obvious as that seems I had not thought about that.


Quoting Anonymous:

Video record his behavior and bring the recording back to the dr.  But don't give up on your child. Did this behavior happen all of a sudden?




svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:07 PM
No not really but it does sound manageable. You need som help getting there tho and everyone involved needs to be onboard with discipline. Thats a very frustrating age for kids. My 3 yo is great for me and most others but horrid for my mil because she doesnt take charge, keep him calm, and discipline appropriately.
Say things like "i know youre mad but its never ok to hit...its mean and it hurts". Go sit (wherever) until you can calm down. Then you ask why he was angry after hr calms down. What happened? Was there a trigger" ask him what he thinks he could do next time. But seriously if he is hitting someone that many times THEY arent doing something right.


Quoting Anonymous:

Is that "normal" for a 3 year old?




Quoting svolkov:

Thats awesome! I happen to be a behavior analyst lol I taught my son the same thing. Sounds like her ds is having some major lack of control issues too






Quoting Jamie1972:


I completely agree with this. My 13 yr old was diagnosed with aggressive behavior when be was 5. after seeing a therapist it was decided that he woukd go on medication to help his mood swings/aggressive behaviors. Now when he recognizes that he's getting mad or frustrated he nit only tells the person ticking him off but he will remove himself from the situation.




Quoting svolkov:

If you think its best then fine . Otherwise get him to a different pediatrician. Obviously something is wrong. A developmental pedi, psychologist, and of possible behavior analyst could do wonders. Dont give up on him mom









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