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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

EDIT My husband or my mother? My dilemma.

Posted by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:32 PM
  • 226 Replies
I've been married since 18. Had my first at 21. I am an only child. When I was 16 my mom had brain surgery on a tumor she was born with. It's called a craniopharyngioma. It was benign. When I was 19 (2.5 years ago) my parents were in a bad accident. My mom who was the passenger had a few scrapes but my dad ended up in a coma and died. Since we didn't have a large family I told Dh let's move to my home I can't leave her alone. We pay rent to her and help her as much as possible. After her brain surgery she was left 100lbs heavier from steroids, diabetic also medication induced I believe...she sleeps 16-19 hours every day. She hasn't cooked a meal in years. She doesn't go shopping for herself. She does drive but doesn't go anywhere but cemetery and the drs. Her brain tumor is back and she needs another surgery to remove it.
My dilemma is that Dh wants to go back to bahrain. He is an immigrant here finished his purpose and now wants to return to his family and raise our dd there. I do want to...especially because its beyond difficult to live with my mom. I don't have the heart to talk back or even raise my eyes to hers in anger. I have talked to her but realize it does no good. Her tumor is on her pituitary which gives Her severe mood swings. She won't hold the baby at all, she doesn't like to watch her even when I go to the bathroom. She yells at me when she loses things and cries when she finds them. She cries over the drop of a hat and screams over a knock at the door. Her language is very vulgar. I don't want my child to be around this she is 9 months old. I don't want her hearing this and seeing my mom like this.

I love my mom. I don't want to leave her. She is my everything and I know she needs someone. She has her brother and his family who lives in texas. They're calling her to live there when I leave and she's always wanted to move down there even before I told her of husbands plans...but I'm her daughter I feel I'm doing a serious injustice to her by leaving her side and I feel also I'm doing what NEEDS to be done.

We will be leaving next month but I will return for her surgery and to aide her in recovery.

I don't know what I'm asking for except what would you do or want to do or what is right to do in my situation ??

Edit:::
I'm done answering questions or looking at the post. I will leave it here for the people to read. When I made this post it's for opinions what I should do regarding my mother. I several time got called a pig for the religion people assume I follow, got bashed and called crazy for followings husband to bahrain, got info what happens if we divorce, etc. for your kind info, I lived on mid east for many years. You're not schooling me on stuff I was aware of. I simply asked for what I should do about my moms situation and got blasted about the rules of bahrain And my religion. I didn't asked what u ppl thought of bahrain.
Just absolutely appalled at the responses. I'm done looking or answering. Just leaving this here so people can read your responses.
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy2BeAmy
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this
BUMP
Mommy2BeAmy
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:39 PM
BUMP
itzmyzoo
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:41 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow, I have no idea. Is there any way your dh can postpone returning until mom is recovered? Maybe then it will be easier to have her move in with other family members? Is it possible to take her with you and maybe have her live in an assisted living?
cakbr
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:41 PM
8 moms liked this
If it is a better life for you and your family, move.

You aren't leaving her stranded... The brother would be taking her in.
MichelleJ1000
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:42 PM
6 moms liked this
You only have one mother. Period. I wish I still had mine here with me.
Litlmama87
by Platinum Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:42 PM
I wouldn't be able to leave her, it would eat me alive.
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Nynnie
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:45 PM
2 moms liked this
Well, I personally couldn't leave my mom in that sitch. She raised u and was there when u needed her even when it was hard and she didn't feel like it. But if her and her brother are happy about it and it's what u want for ur family do what u want, it's not abandoning her if she has someone else that will help her and they are happy with it imo
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crazygirl907
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:45 PM

I'd move. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:45 PM
I wouldn't leave my mom!
laranadtony
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:46 PM

Don't do it if you are already guilting yourself.

My mother did some pretty awful shit to me and now I know why but...I did not find out until years after her death. I was not there when she died. I did not attend the funeral.

I live with regret every single day of my life now and I can't do anything about it but live with what I did.

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