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What are her chances for getting visitation?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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DF's best friend has two sons that are 13 and 11 and he's had full custody of them since he and his ex-wife separated nearly ten years ago. She cheated on him with an ex-con who hit his wife (he was married as well) and drank and smoked weed all the time. The guy told her husband that he slept with his wife and that he met his sons. DF's friend confronted his wife and she said it was true and she left so she could be with the guy. DF's friend filed for emergency custody of the boys and for divorce. She was awarded supervised visitation at her mother's house EOW and Tuesday and Thursday evenings for 4 hours. She rarely took the visitation and ran off to Illinois with her boyfriend before the divorce was final.

She went for years not paying child support, but started paying in March of this year and she's all caught up, she owed over $12,000. She sent a message to DF's friend on FB asking to see the kids this summer. She said she's no longer with that boyfriend and she's engaged to someone else and has four children (the oldest is 8) that she is raising and has custody of. She's a full time student working on her accounting degree with a 3.1 GPA. She said that she wanted to see the kids alone, she thinks it would be overwhelming for them to meet their siblings and that he or whoever he wanted to supervise was fine with her.

He wrote back and said no and she said she would come back to NJ to file papers for her to get supervised visitation. DF's friend doesn't think she has enough money for a lawyer or to travel back and forth frequently. What do you think her chances are?

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
j3st3r
by Jedi on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:38 PM
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When did she lose the visitation she had?  If she had it and it was never changed, she could demand it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:40 PM



Quoting j3st3r:

When did she lose the visitation she had?  If she had it and it was never changed, she could demand it.

She didn't lose it, she just left and her parents currently see them during her time. Her parents are disgusted by her actions. 

She lives in IL and he lives in NJ. How could she see them during those times?

j3st3r
by Jedi on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:42 PM
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So, her parental rights have never been terminated?  I'd say a judge will likely approve her request for reasonable visitation.  

My father left for 8 years, no contact, no child support.  When he came back, he was given full custody because he could provide a stable home.

A judge is going to consider disruption to their lives, yes, but also the mother's right to raise, or participate in raising, her children.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting j3st3r:

When did she lose the visitation she had?  If she had it and it was never changed, she could demand it.

She didn't lose it, she just left and her parents currently see them during her time. Her parents are disgusted by her actions. 

She lives in IL and he lives in NJ. How could she see them during those times?



xoch86
by Gold Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:44 PM
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Tell him to file abandonment charges. Use her parent as witnesses. Do it first before she does

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:44 PM

No, she had supervised visitation awarded, and it was never terminated, but she left the state and hasn't seen the boys in over nine and a half years.

How would she be able to see them every other weekend and two evenings a week in another state? 


Quoting j3st3r:

So, her parental rights have never been terminated?  I'd say a judge will likely approve her request for reasonable visitation.  

My father left for 8 years, no contact, no child support.  When he came back, he was given full custody because he could provide a stable home.

A judge is going to consider disruption to their lives, yes, but also the mother's right to raise, or participate in raising, her children.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting j3st3r:

When did she lose the visitation she had?  If she had it and it was never changed, she could demand it.

She didn't lose it, she just left and her parents currently see them during her time. Her parents are disgusted by her actions. 

She lives in IL and he lives in NJ. How could she see them during those times?





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:45 PM



Quoting xoch86:

Tell him to file abandonment charges. Use her parent as witnesses. Do it first before she does

She's current on child support, so I don't think that would work. He could have done that before she paid but he didn't.


j3st3r
by Jedi on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:46 PM


I'm not saying it would be exactly the same.  Should she petition, she may receive once a month plus time in the summer.  Families work out such arrangements all the time.

Quoting Anonymous:

No, she had supervised visitation awarded, and it was never terminated, but she left the state and hasn't seen the boys in over nine and a half years.

How would she be able to see them every other weekend and two evenings a week in another state? 


Quoting j3st3r:

So, her parental rights have never been terminated?  I'd say a judge will likely approve her request for reasonable visitation.  

My father left for 8 years, no contact, no child support.  When he came back, he was given full custody because he could provide a stable home.

A judge is going to consider disruption to their lives, yes, but also the mother's right to raise, or participate in raising, her children.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting j3st3r:

When did she lose the visitation she had?  If she had it and it was never changed, she could demand it.

She didn't lose it, she just left and her parents currently see them during her time. Her parents are disgusted by her actions. 

She lives in IL and he lives in NJ. How could she see them during those times?







Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:48 PM

That wouldn't be supervised if the kids went to IL. I think any visitation must have the dad present, this woman is a stranger.

Quoting j3st3r:


I'm not saying it would be exactly the same.  Should she petition, she may receive once a month plus time in the summer.  Families work out such arrangements all the time.

Quoting Anonymous:

No, she had supervised visitation awarded, and it was never terminated, but she left the state and hasn't seen the boys in over nine and a half years.

How would she be able to see them every other weekend and two evenings a week in another state? 


Quoting j3st3r:

So, her parental rights have never been terminated?  I'd say a judge will likely approve her request for reasonable visitation.  

My father left for 8 years, no contact, no child support.  When he came back, he was given full custody because he could provide a stable home.

A judge is going to consider disruption to their lives, yes, but also the mother's right to raise, or participate in raising, her children.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting j3st3r:

When did she lose the visitation she had?  If she had it and it was never changed, she could demand it.

She didn't lose it, she just left and her parents currently see them during her time. Her parents are disgusted by her actions. 

She lives in IL and he lives in NJ. How could she see them during those times?









Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Usually they will listen to the wishes of the kids when they are that age.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 20, 2013 at 3:50 PM



Quoting Anonymous:

Usually they will listen to the wishes of the kids when they are that age.

The kids want nothing to do with her.


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