Kids Say the Craziest Things About Mommy's 'Drinking Habit'
by Jeanne Sager
Sometimes it's hard being a grown up. You have a long day, and all you want to do is sit down and relax with a glass of wine. Just one! And up pops one of your kids to shame you into feeling like you're an alcoholic! Or worse ... they're at school spreading the word that Mommy just lurvs her booze!
If you have kids and you like an occasional beer at a summer barbecue, I'm betting it's happened to you at least once. Your kid has -- probably accidentally -- embarrassed you over your taste for a tipple. Don't worry, we've all been there ... just get a load of what some kids have done to their parents:
1. Before my kids take a sip of my water, they always ask me if there is any alcohol in it.
2. My son came home with one of those fill-in-the-blanks "about my mom" worksheets they have the kids do for Mother's Day. He was so proud. Then I looked. After "My Mom loves" it said WINE in big, capital letters.
3. When we were in vacation recently, I ordered wine with many meals. At lunch one day my daughter said, "you sure do like Chardonnay." Observant one she is.
4. Back in the day when Brad Paisley's song "Alcohol" was popular, it came on the radio when my parents were visiting. My daughter was about 4 and turned to my mother, "Grandma, my mom drinks a little bit of alcohol every day." What the heck?
5. When I sound stressed or frazzled my son has said, "Why don't you just have your wine?"
6. Sometimes when I get exasperated or frustrated my 9-year-old son says, “Does Mommy need a cocktail?” He’s mostly joking, but it sure makes me squirm.
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7. When we went on vacation a few years ago, our hotel had a gorgeous balcony. We put the kids to bed in the room, made sure the doors and windows were all open so we could hear every little noise, and then all this mom wanted to do was sit on the porch and enjoy one (yes, just ONE!!!!) beer with hubby, the warm summer night and a little peace and quiet.
My daughter wouldn't go to sleep; we would just hear her calling through the window "Mom, do you like your beer?" "Mom, I hope your beer tastes nice, I love you!" Mom, are you done with your beer yet?" I couldn't get more than four sips without the shame and guilt pouring over me. Yet my husband was able to pound his beer and finish mine with no problem at all!
8. Every year my daughter's private school ends the year with a big ceremony and the priest gets up to say a few words. When my daughter was in kindergarten, he spent his time essentially telling the kids all the gruesome ways they could die and not to do those things. One of them was "If your parents have been drinking, or using drugs, do NOT get in the car with them!"
My daughter took this moment to turn around and wave at me with a big grin on her sweet little face.
I have no qualms about having a drink or two in their presence--I am a grownup and they are not, and alcohol is for adults, just like coffee. But I never would when I am driving and especially not with them in the car!
9. We'd gone out to dinner as a family with a few friends, and I had a glass of wine with dinner. As we're getting in the car, my daughter announces, loudly, so the whole parking lot can hear: "Mom, you can't drive, you've been drinking!" I had one glass of wine! Over a two-hour meal!
So spill it! The story, not the glass of wine (no one said you're a stumbling drunk ... except your kid!).
What have your kids done to really make you feel bad about drinking?