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Why do some single moms act manly/think they don't need help?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My bff is a single mom. Technically to her older child. She has a bf and has a new baby with him but she still acts as if she has to do everything. He asks her if she needs help with things, she says she doesn't need it, she's ok. She carries in all the groceries along with her baby in the car seat carrier, doesn't txt her bf to come out and help. I know this cause I lived with them for a little bit cause I needed a place to crash for a while. She's just too accustomed to doing everything on her own, ever since her ex(baby daddy to her first) was unemployed or worked at the car wash, she had to pay his way for gas and rent, etc. I'm afraid her relationship with this guy won't last. Does she need therapy to be more of a woman than like a man cause of what she's been through in the past? Her bf can't support everyone though since he has spousal support obligations, hence why she feels neglected even more cause she's in the same predictament again but this guy does have a job but has to support another household and doesn't have enough to support his new child. They planned this baby but hoped his shit with his ex would've been over but she;s dragging her feet with the divorce and support, my bff did not want to abort the child. She works two jobs to support everyone. What he has leftover after support is only enough to make his car payments and gas and one utility bill in their apartment. He can't pay for diapers/other baby needs. The rest is all on her.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:02 PM
Replies (11-20):
SaratheV
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:13 PM
I never asked my ex fiancΓ© to help with anything. I've done this for six years on my own. I got this shit.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:13 PM


she can act any damn way she wants to.  she's not doing anything wrong.  if he has a problem with it, then they can deal with it together.  chances are she needs time to relax and accept help.  you can't just turn it off.

moral of the story:  butt out.  it's none of your business.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting FoxFire363:

You are a moron. Independent and capable do not equal manly.

 Again. She has a BF, does she still have to act that way?



paganmommy4
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:13 PM

Because its HER job to care for her children and she's used to doing things alone. Thats the way it should be, and until their married HERS IS HERS and HIS IS HIS

Piskie
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:16 PM
I must be doing it wrong...... How does anyone need a penis to bring in the groceries, or take out the trash? I've been managing just fine.....

She doesn't have to change. No, scratch that, she needs to get rid of her idiotic bf, and her idiotic friend. That means you.
southern.momof2
by Pirate on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:16 PM
That's one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. If he can't handle an independent woman, he needs to move on. My father raised me to be self sufficient and never to depend on anyone. I am very proud of that!

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting GirlWithANikon:


So she is self sufficient which means she is manly? .... Are you an idiot ? I think you need therapy for thinking a woman can do things on her own. I am married and have NEVER been a single mom and can carry all my own groceries as well. Some people just aren't lazy, weak, or dependent. Thats a GOOD thing, not a reason for therapy. And any man who is afraid of a women who can do it without, is no man at all.


If the guy is a leech and shes supporting him she should ditch him though.


 BUT she has a bf that can help her. Maybe not financially but you know what I mean. When I lived with them, he used to come up to me and say 'she acts like she has a penis at times, as if I'm here.'

mamabearjkda
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:16 PM

This isn't going to end well for you. Seriously just because she does all of that doesn't make her manly. I have a tendency to carry in a lot more groceries than what my back really should handle, i'm not manly, my roommate, he comes out and helps with the groceries whether I ask or not. I also work on cars, still not manly, and I prefer to NOT ask for help unless I am in DIRE DIRE need of it. This does NOT make me manly, you really need to get out of the 50's and into current times

TishHughes
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:16 PM
Carrying your own groceries is manly? No. She's probably just used to doing it on her own is all.
skymama10
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:16 PM
I'm going to answer this as if it wasn't ridiculous and I didn't think you're crazy.

You get used to doing things on your own. You have a system and it works. Many people including myself feel that messing up that system is unnecessary.
HistoryNutty
by Ruby Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:17 PM
Maybe she doesn't want to depend completely on her boyfriend. Maybe she's just used to doing everything herself. She's providing for her family, he can jump up and help when he wants instead of asking and taking no for an answer.
Ms_mom_81
by Gold Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:18 PM

sometimes you get so used to doing everything alone you don't think about it.....

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