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Why do some single moms act manly/think they don't need help?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My bff is a single mom. Technically to her older child. She has a bf and has a new baby with him but she still acts as if she has to do everything. He asks her if she needs help with things, she says she doesn't need it, she's ok. She carries in all the groceries along with her baby in the car seat carrier, doesn't txt her bf to come out and help. I know this cause I lived with them for a little bit cause I needed a place to crash for a while. She's just too accustomed to doing everything on her own, ever since her ex(baby daddy to her first) was unemployed or worked at the car wash, she had to pay his way for gas and rent, etc. I'm afraid her relationship with this guy won't last. Does she need therapy to be more of a woman than like a man cause of what she's been through in the past? Her bf can't support everyone though since he has spousal support obligations, hence why she feels neglected even more cause she's in the same predictament again but this guy does have a job but has to support another household and doesn't have enough to support his new child. They planned this baby but hoped his shit with his ex would've been over but she;s dragging her feet with the divorce and support, my bff did not want to abort the child. She works two jobs to support everyone. What he has leftover after support is only enough to make his car payments and gas and one utility bill in their apartment. He can't pay for diapers/other baby needs. The rest is all on her.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:02 PM
Replies (31-40):
Sekirei
by LoKitty on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:24 PM
Well shit I.guess I am manly then. I am married and do a lot of that on my own
FrozenReesesCup
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:24 PM

Welcoming help and NEEDING it are two totally different things. My boyfriend loves my son and whenever he wants to help out with him, I let him. But I don't go around begging him to help me. He is my child and my responsibility.

I will NEVER tell my boyfriend no when he offers help because he loves to interact with my son. So when they go off to basketball, football or baseball games, I use that free time to go something productive with my time. Like get a head start on laundry, clean up, study, get on here or relax.

DS and BF are at a baseball game right now so I'm on here while I soak my feet and be lazy LOL

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting FrozenReesesCup:

Because i don't need help. I don't get pa or cs and I'm proud of myself.

 But would you still act like that if a new man enters your life? Would you tell him to piss off, not to help you?


FL2AK
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:24 PM
My husband loves the fact that I am not a whiny needy woman. There is nothing wrong with your friend being independent.
danie24
by Ruby Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:27 PM

What? LOL

There are PLENTY of single parents who do just fine on their own.

It's not impossible to be a single parent and do it all.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting gemikris82:

whats wrong with a woman doing it all? shes a mom, a multi tasker. 


no one can just do it all. They may think they can, but it is impossible. There is a reason it takes two to get pregnant.


Benjamins-mama
by Platinum Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:28 PM

just because she is self sufficient doesn't make her manly.   smh   and seeing as he can't support anything for her and the baby  she might as well be a single parent. 

gemikris82
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:29 PM

 

some people just like to be more in control that others. 

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting gemikris82:

whats wrong with a woman doing it all? shes a mom, a multi tasker. 


no one can just do it all. They may think they can, but it is impossible. There is a reason it takes two to get pregnant.


 

ProudMommaBear
by Ruby Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:33 PM
How the hell first of all does that make her manly? Glad to see someone has some big stereotypes on how men and women should act. Anyways being the single mother I am, its a single mother thing. We do get used to do everything on our own because we have to. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm a stubborn person as well and rarely ask for help as it is.
momoftwoboys12
by Gold Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:38 PM
So what if she has a bf. if she doesn't want or need help There's nothing wrong with that. If he doesn't like it he can gtfo.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:46 PM

But he wants to try get her out of this "I don't need help" attitude. Yes she's still technically a single mom since she's unwed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:46 PM

 

Quoting ProudMommaBear:

How the hell first of all does that make her manly? Glad to see someone has some big stereotypes on how men and women should act. Anyways being the single mother I am, its a single mother thing. We do get used to do everything on our own because we have to. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm a stubborn person as well and rarely ask for help as it is.

 

But he wants to try get her out of this "I don't need help" attitude. Yes she's still technically a single mom since she's unwed.

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