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Why do some single moms act manly/think they don't need help?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My bff is a single mom. Technically to her older child. She has a bf and has a new baby with him but she still acts as if she has to do everything. He asks her if she needs help with things, she says she doesn't need it, she's ok. She carries in all the groceries along with her baby in the car seat carrier, doesn't txt her bf to come out and help. I know this cause I lived with them for a little bit cause I needed a place to crash for a while. She's just too accustomed to doing everything on her own, ever since her ex(baby daddy to her first) was unemployed or worked at the car wash, she had to pay his way for gas and rent, etc. I'm afraid her relationship with this guy won't last. Does she need therapy to be more of a woman than like a man cause of what she's been through in the past? Her bf can't support everyone though since he has spousal support obligations, hence why she feels neglected even more cause she's in the same predictament again but this guy does have a job but has to support another household and doesn't have enough to support his new child. They planned this baby but hoped his shit with his ex would've been over but she;s dragging her feet with the divorce and support, my bff did not want to abort the child. She works two jobs to support everyone. What he has leftover after support is only enough to make his car payments and gas and one utility bill in their apartment. He can't pay for diapers/other baby needs. The rest is all on her.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:02 PM
Replies (41-48):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:47 PM

 

Quoting FL2AK:

My husband loves the fact that I am not a whiny needy woman. There is nothing wrong with your friend being independent.

 

But he wants to try get her out of this "I don't need help" attitude. Yes she's still technically a single mom since she's unwed.

FL2AK
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:48 PM
She is who she is. Tell him to be thankful that she is independent.


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting FL2AK:

My husband loves the fact that I am not a whiny needy woman. There is nothing wrong with your friend being independent.

 


But he wants to try get her out of this "I don't need help" attitude. Yes she's still technically a single mom since she's unwed.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:50 PM

I think you need therapy!

ashley9603
by RunningMomma on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:53 PM

My mom is a single mom and has been for years.She is what you would call manly lol...if something needs to be done it gets done...she doesnt need a man to help her out lol...she has learned to depend on herself.I dont see anything wrong with this.Frankly to be honest its something that is between them and no one else.

Mabuka
by Gold Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I prefer to do things on my own...which annoys df because he is always trying to help. He always says, 'Why don't you let ME do that??' and I always say, 'If you weren't here I'd be doing it myself, anyway.' (He works a lot).

If I truly need help, I will ask for it.

And no, I'm not manly. Not in the least.
owl0210
by Emerald Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:54 PM
Good lord the stupid is out in full force.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ProudMommaBear
by Ruby Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:55 PM
Well sometimes you just gotta stick some stuff out in a relationship, it can't get fixed overnight...and some people, like me, are just built to not want help. I've been that way my whole life. Its something about me someone will have to get used to if I date someone because its who I am. There's nothing wrong with it. If he has such a big issue with it and she's like me who's always been this way then he's going to have to suck it up or leave

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting ProudMommaBear:

How the hell first of all does that make her manly? Glad to see someone has some big stereotypes on how men and women should act. Anyways being the single mother I am, its a single mother thing. We do get used to do everything on our own because we have to. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm a stubborn person as well and rarely ask for help as it is.

 


But he wants to try get her out of this "I don't need help" attitude. Yes she's still technically a single mom since she's unwed.

ProudMommaBear
by Ruby Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 5:55 PM
Well sometimes you just gotta stick some stuff out in a relationship, it can't get fixed overnight...and some people, like me, are just built to not want help. I've been that way my whole life. Its something about me someone will have to get used to if I date someone because its who I am. There's nothing wrong with it. If he has such a big issue with it and she's like me who's always been this way then he's going to have to suck it up or leave

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting ProudMommaBear:

How the hell first of all does that make her manly? Glad to see someone has some big stereotypes on how men and women should act. Anyways being the single mother I am, its a single mother thing. We do get used to do everything on our own because we have to. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm a stubborn person as well and rarely ask for help as it is.

 


But he wants to try get her out of this "I don't need help" attitude. Yes she's still technically a single mom since she's unwed.

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