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Anyone else feel like all the worlds marriages are destined to fall apart?

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:08 PM
  • 58 Replies
Or just me? I am currently in a relationship with the father of my child. We've been together a couple years and we seem to be doing excellent under the circumstances. We have spoken about marriage but the time for engagement and wedding plans is just not right, financially.

Coming on CafeMom is just depressing. I can't keep myself away from the curiosity of all these posts about cheating husbands, wives unsatisfied and looking elsewhere, broken families. Both of my parents have been married four times each, and I feel like this day and age that forever love doesn't exist.

I personally feel like love has to be cherished when it is strong and compromised upon when it is weak. That not every moment is going to be filled with passion and that you're going to have to find the silver lining even when you are driving each other crazy. I dunno.

I guess I am just scared to make the same mistakes as my parents. I don't need a fairytale romance, I just want a successful one, full of understanding and strength. Does anyone else feel this way?

Are there any love stories, real ones, not the braggart exaggerated ones, out there?
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SJG1013
by SJG on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:10 PM
1 mom liked this
My grandparents have been married for 70 years, if that isn't love I don't know what is.
BeAmour
by Tonya on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:10 PM
3 moms liked this
So many people these days look at a marriage as, "oh well, if it doesn't work out there's always divorce". People don't realize it is a lifelong commitment instead they see it as disposable.

momto2boys973
by Ruby Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:10 PM
I've been married for 17 years, and we're just as committed as we were when we first got married.
My sil just remarried her ex-husband this week, they realized their divorce was a mistake.
My parents have been married for 45 years, my in laws for 46.
Val99
by Ruby Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:13 PM
1 mom liked this

No, I've been happily married for 15 years.  You just see more failures on CM.  I only have a couple friends that have been divorced, but many who have been happily married for 20 or 30 years.

I think people in their 20's don't work at it as much, and expect instant gratification, more than those who are older.

The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:15 PM
I've been with my husband for ten years, married for five in August. We have had hard times, but have worked through the issues and have come out of the other side stronger than ever. We work hard to keep each other happy and give our daughter a stress free, calm, and steady home life. Even during the hard times, I have never regretted getting married. I couldn't imagine finding someone else who complements me so well.
Ms_mom_81
by Gold Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:15 PM

I don't think any relationship is perfect. I was married 8 years to the father of my children. He cheated on me I took him back, but honestly never trusted him a day after that. it showed. We had a terrible relationship and the communication was horrible.

I have been divorced 3 years and were separated about a year. I am currently in another relationship and love it. Everything is different. He is my absolute best friend. I am head over heels in love with him after 2 years. My kids like him. I want to marry him. Like you, I want the conditions to be right. I want him to spend more time with my kids. I want to graduate RN school. I think planning is the smart thing. Love doesn't = rushing off and getting married right away.

Aireeahnah
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:16 PM
I think the fact that younger children have now been exposed to divorce as more of a solution than a "taboo" has also effected the rates. It is sad..


Quoting Val99:

No, I've been happily married for 15 years.  You just see more failures on CM.  I only have a couple friends that have been divorced, but many who have been happily married for 20 or 30 years.

I think people in their 20's don't work at it as much, and expect instant gratification, more than those who are older.


jas_momof2
by Platinum Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I've been married for 23 years.  Got married out of high school.  Has it been easy?  No.  And that is where a lot of marriages fail.  People give up.  They want the easy way and don't care to work or compromise.

Marriage is work - especially the long ones.  When you grow (age) you change.  That is a fact.  You are not the same person you were 10, 15, 20 years ago, nor will you be the same person 10, 15, 20 years from now.  To expect a marriage to stay the same is not realistic.  You change, your partner changes and with that you need to learn to grow together.  Otherwise, you grow apart - which happens.

caito
by Ruby Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:18 PM

My life is falling apart in every way, shape, and form...except for my marriage. That's the only constant in my life. I choose to be optimistic when it comes to my marriage. If we don't have each other we don't have anyone. So yeah, we're in it for the long haul.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:18 PM
My marriage is failing, but I know of many successful marriages. Not all are doomed.
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