I have decided that my children should be special and treated as such - Spin off - B!t(hy woman at eatery
So here are my rules!
If my kid comes up to you in an eatery and says HI, and smiles at you, you should entertain him. I don't give a shit about your book you are reading. Put it down and entertain my kids! They deserve it! They are SPECIAL LITTLE SNOWFLAKES!
If my kid comes up to your table and asks for one of your mozzerella sticks, give it to the kid! My kid might be hungry!
If my kid is about to trip a waitress accidentally who is carrying boiling tea and I don't notice, jump out of your seat and huddle around my kid like a protective barrier between my kid and the tea or soup or whatever it is! I don't care if you give yourself a hernia doing so! JUST SAVE MY PRECIOUS BABY!
If my kid wants to climb on your table and sit his ass in your just brought out plate of spagetti and meatballs, you should let my kid do so!
If my kid asks for a sip of your soda, give it to my kid!
It takes a village to raise a child, and now you are a special part of "the village".
If my kid grabs your book and runs to the kitchen and tosses it into the oven, let my kid do it. My kid is exploring and learning cause and effect, toss a book in the stove, and there is a large fire and the eatery closes down. This is essential for my kid's learning experiences.
If a stranger grabs my kid and runs them into the bathroom, you are to save my kid.
If a stranger grabs my kid and runs out of the eatery, save my kid!
If my kid says why are you fat? Or what the hell do you need that wheelchair for, are you too stupid to walk? Or if my kid walks up to you and yells FOUR EYES because you are wearing glasses, my kid is just expressing himself or herself. Let my kid do so and just nod and chuckle.Because my kid is friggin adorable and you KNOW IT!
If my kid wants a sip of your beer, let my kid do it! It's okay with me!
If my kid gets crayons and wants to walk up to you and "recolor your purse" allow them to! Now your purse will be a one of a kind!
Screaming and crying is fucking awesome and you will love it if my kids decide to cry and scream. And if you want to come over and give my kids a big hug and tell them it's going to be okay that would be great too!
My kids are fucking perfect deal with it!
JUST KIDDING. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT IN AN EATERY!