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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Biracial children and family members racist comment...

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I am white and my sons father is Puerto Rican.  We were together for ten years but I left him in April.  I am pretty postive he cheated on my and he is very controlling and abusive.  I had enough, but this is a man that I love dearly.  I did not leave him because I do not love him, I left because I was tired of all of the drama and it was hurting my children.  I have a 13 year old son and together we share a 5 year old son.  

I moved 5 hours away from my SO and now live near my brother.  I have been feeling really lonely and isolated.   

My father passed away one year ago yesterday and me and my brother got into an arguement because he took my 13 year old sons bike that my dad gave to him and put the handle bars onto his sons bike.  My son was not using the bike, but still.... my brother did not even ask me if he could do that and I wanted the bike in one peice.  There is nothing wrong with it, it just has two flat tires.  Anyway I was upset that he did this and on the anniversary of my dads passing just made it worse.  

I called my mom to vent and she in turn went and called my brother because he really upset me.  Yelling and cursing at me because I said how I felt.  So, he also yelled at my mom and somehow brought my sons father into it and called him a SPIC.  

I am upset he said this, one because I still love this man and two because my son is Puerto Rican also.  Is feeling offended an over reaction????  Should I say something or leave it alone and let it pass.  Basically I have been hiding in my house since yesterday.  What do I do or say???  Please help me, I am a mess.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Replies (11-20):
SJG1013
by SJG on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:07 AM
I would let him know how disrespectful it is to talk about your Ex in any which way. He's an asshole for using that word. I would also tell him you would appreciate the handle bars back and how heartless he was to do it on a day that has brought so much pain into your life.


Quoting jj4ij:

I am and I am hurt.  I am already very sensitive.  Do you have any suggestions as to what to say?

Quoting SJG1013:

I would be pissed.



jj4ij
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:07 AM

So, it wouldn't offend you if your brother called your SO the N word?  So you think that I should not say anything and that to do so would be an over reaction?  I value your input.  I am looking for both points of view.

Quoting sandra_t00:

My SO is black and w have a child together. I don't get offended


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:10 AM
I would ask him out right if that is how he feels about my son as well and if he said some slick shit, I would have no problem cutting my brother out of my life to stand up for my child.
jj4ij
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:11 AM

I did tell him to put them back and he refused.  He was loud and yelling saying that "HIS dad" told him that it was ok, because dad would rather see his grandson being able to ride a bike.  He basically intimidated me into walking away.  Mind you, my SO was a bully to me in very much the same way and my brother talks shit about him because of it and then he goes and treats me the same way.  I hate that.  Either it is ok to treat me like shit, or it isn't.  

Quoting SJG1013:

I would let him know how disrespectful it is to talk about your Ex in any which way. He's an asshole for using that word. I would also tell him you would appreciate the handle bars back and how heartless he was to do it on a day that has brought so much pain into your life.


Quoting jj4ij:

I am and I am hurt.  I am already very sensitive.  Do you have any suggestions as to what to say?

Quoting SJG1013:

I would be pissed.




nelliesmommy
by prettyandpierced on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Maybe you should seperate yourself from him for a bit. He may be family but still. I understand it is hard. i have been there. Keep your head up You will be ok.hugs

Quoting jj4ij:

I left him in April.  I am having a very hard time here.  I am very alone and in a strange place.  The only people I know here are my brother and his family.   My brother is very ignorant and hurtful.  I can't help but wonder now if every time he looks at my son that is what he is thinking.

Quoting nelliesmommy:

I'm happy you finally left. I remember your post. I would say something to him about it. Your child is half puerto rican, it isn't right, he should keep ignorant stuff to himself.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Is Puerto Rican a race?
armyvet06
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:13 AM
Tell him that you are offended by what he said. What he did was rude even if it was not meant to be aimed at your son. I have cousins who are Hispanic American and would hate to hear someone call them a degrading name. Same with my best friends little boy who is black/white.
SJG1013
by SJG on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Then I would take a step back and realize how important it is to not have someone that way in your life. You left one and shouldn't have to deal with another. I am so sorry your brother is such an asshole. Just try and surround yourself with positive things and let the negatives float on by.


Quoting jj4ij:

I did tell him to put them back and he refused.  He was loud and yelling saying that "HIS dad" told him that it was ok, because dad would rather see his grandson being able to ride a bike.  He basically intimidated me into walking away.  Mind you, my SO was a bully to me in very much the same way and my brother talks shit about him because of it and then he goes and treats me the same way.  I hate that.  Either it is ok to treat me like shit, or it isn't.  

Quoting SJG1013:

I would let him know how disrespectful it is to talk about your Ex in any which way. He's an asshole for using that word. I would also tell him you would appreciate the handle bars back and how heartless he was to do it on a day that has brought so much pain into your life.





Quoting jj4ij:

I am and I am hurt.  I am already very sensitive.  Do you have any suggestions as to what to say?

Quoting SJG1013:

I would be pissed.






Lili0509
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:15 AM

 Well, a Spic is a racist word towards Hispanics and yes, considering your son is mixed, he is offending him too. I don't know what to advise on that....he's your brother but he is also an adult that should know better.....Im sorry he has to resort to something so low to hurt you but realize he is the one with issues, not you.

Mish321
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:15 AM

I think you and your brother have issues beyond racial comments. Im sure he made those comments just to piss you off. Why don't you just have an open conversation with your brother. Discuss what is bothering both of you. If you will not do it now, there is a big chance you will loose your brother. 

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