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Biracial children and family members racist comment...

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I am white and my sons father is Puerto Rican.  We were together for ten years but I left him in April.  I am pretty postive he cheated on my and he is very controlling and abusive.  I had enough, but this is a man that I love dearly.  I did not leave him because I do not love him, I left because I was tired of all of the drama and it was hurting my children.  I have a 13 year old son and together we share a 5 year old son.  

I moved 5 hours away from my SO and now live near my brother.  I have been feeling really lonely and isolated.   

My father passed away one year ago yesterday and me and my brother got into an arguement because he took my 13 year old sons bike that my dad gave to him and put the handle bars onto his sons bike.  My son was not using the bike, but still.... my brother did not even ask me if he could do that and I wanted the bike in one peice.  There is nothing wrong with it, it just has two flat tires.  Anyway I was upset that he did this and on the anniversary of my dads passing just made it worse.  

I called my mom to vent and she in turn went and called my brother because he really upset me.  Yelling and cursing at me because I said how I felt.  So, he also yelled at my mom and somehow brought my sons father into it and called him a SPIC.  

I am upset he said this, one because I still love this man and two because my son is Puerto Rican also.  Is feeling offended an over reaction????  Should I say something or leave it alone and let it pass.  Basically I have been hiding in my house since yesterday.  What do I do or say???  Please help me, I am a mess.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Replies (31-40):
IamMex11
by JorgematoTM on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:36 AM

i would not allow him anywhere near my child


Quoting jj4ij:

I am not living with my brother.  I have my own house.  I just live in the same development as my brother and he is the only person I know out here.  I moved 5 hours away from where I lived my whole life to start over, going to a shelter would do me no good.

Quoting IamMex11:

you went from bad to worse. go to a shelter.




jj4ij
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:38 AM

I have been hoarded up in my house since yesterday.  But can I really remain like this?  I am really feeling sorry that I moved out here right about now.  A huge part of me wants to run back to his father.  I am really feeling so lonely and isolated and the last thing I needed was this.  

Quoting IamMex11:

i would not allow him anywhere near my child


Quoting jj4ij:

I am not living with my brother.  I have my own house.  I just live in the same development as my brother and he is the only person I know out here.  I moved 5 hours away from where I lived my whole life to start over, going to a shelter would do me no good.

Quoting IamMex11:

you went from bad to worse. go to a shelter.





IamMex11
by JorgematoTM on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:39 AM


I just can't imagine my brother speaking to me like that and my children are biracial.  i am really sorry. don't run back if he's been cheating....maybe a support group?

Quoting jj4ij:

I have been hoarded up in my house since yesterday.  But can I really remain like this?  I am really feeling sorry that I moved out here right about now.  A huge part of me wants to run back to his father.  I am really feeling so lonely and isolated and the last thing I needed was this.  

Quoting IamMex11:

i would not allow him anywhere near my child


Quoting jj4ij:

I am not living with my brother.  I have my own house.  I just live in the same development as my brother and he is the only person I know out here.  I moved 5 hours away from where I lived my whole life to start over, going to a shelter would do me no good.

Quoting IamMex11:

you went from bad to worse. go to a shelter.







gammie
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Your brother sounds like a bully keep away. You just left one idiot you don't need another. I would not speak to him ever again, if you try he will shout at you to make you back off. He must control people with his anger.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jj4ij
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:44 AM

Like I said, I have isolated myself.  I am so depressed that I don't want to be around others.  I have been alone in my house since April.  The only place I go is to my brothers and even there...  I can't wait to get home when I am there.  BUT... sometimes I need to get out of my own head and going to my brothers is good at those times.  His wife is great, I do like hanging out with her.  My brother has been great, I don't know what happened yesterday.  But I know that I am hurt.

Quoting IamMex11:


I just can't imagine my brother speaking to me like that and my children are biracial.  i am really sorry. don't run back if he's been cheating....maybe a support group?

Quoting jj4ij:

I have been hoarded up in my house since yesterday.  But can I really remain like this?  I am really feeling sorry that I moved out here right about now.  A huge part of me wants to run back to his father.  I am really feeling so lonely and isolated and the last thing I needed was this.  

Quoting IamMex11:

i would not allow him anywhere near my child


Quoting jj4ij:

I am not living with my brother.  I have my own house.  I just live in the same development as my brother and he is the only person I know out here.  I moved 5 hours away from where I lived my whole life to start over, going to a shelter would do me no good.

Quoting IamMex11:

you went from bad to worse. go to a shelter.








jj4ij
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:47 AM

The only problem I have with this is that I am all alone here where I moved to.  He is the only person I know here, well him and his wife and kids.  I do appreciate his wifes friendship.  If I had to spend every minute of everyday alone in my head I would be in an institution.  I am slowly having an emotional breakdown.  I have never in all of my life felt so alone.  

Worse thing is that the main reason I left my ex is because he was controlling and now my brother who was the supposed hero who rescued me and helped me get set up out here?

Quoting gammie:

Your brother sounds like a bully keep away. You just left one idiot you don't need another. I would not speak to him ever again, if you try he will shout at you to make you back off. He must control people with his anger.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:51 AM
You tell them that if that can't refrain from using racist comments about your sons father or around your son, then they don't see you or your son. Pretty straight forward. Standup for your son.

Quoting jj4ij:

Thank you, but what do I do or say????  Should I just leave it alone?

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't blame you for being offended, my daughters father is Arab, my family has made so many racist comments. It makes me sad because my child is that race. I wouldn't want people calling her those names.

And if your ex is controlling and abusive, he doesnt deserve your love. I understand, but its true.


MrsKaufold1990
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:52 AM
Shrug and say

"Spics are mexican dumbass, so if you want to use racist slurs, make sure you are using them the right wat."

And leave it at that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:54 AM
Yes it is.

Quoting Anonymous:

Is Puerto Rican a race?
jj4ij
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:54 AM

SPIC is a racial word against hispanics.  Puerto Ricans are hispanics.  

This doesn't help me very much.

Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Shrug and say

"Spics are mexican dumbass, so if you want to use racist slurs, make sure you are using them the right wat."

And leave it at that.


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