My stepson is 2.5 years old and I have been a part of his life for 21 of those months. His father and mother are black, as well as his half-siblings that he lives with. I am white.
I have spent more money on this little boy than his own father has, because I honest to God love to see him happy. I try to spend as much 1-on-1 time with him as possible, we go shopping together, to the park, for walks in his wagon, etc. The thing is, he would drop me in a heart beat for a black woman. Even a stranger. He still listens to his father around these women, but not me. New women at church, he wants them to pick him up. If I pick him up, he cries and throws a tantrum. Both of his grandparents have come to spend time with him over summer break, these people haven't seen him in 2 years. He loved them the second he saw them, never throws a temper tantrum with them nor does he snatch things out of thier hands and say "mine" or "go away" like he does to me. Acts like the perfect little 2 year old. ANY BLACK WOMAN. When I first started dating his father, I was always called by my first name to him, because I am not his mother. Very rarely does he ever slip up and call me mom, but if he does, I don't make a big deal out of it. It happens like once every week or two. He meets his grandparents and within an hour is calling them both "mommy" and wants to be snuggled up in the arms all day. He only does this with me when we're completely alone. He loves me when it's just us two. But when we're around black women, he doesn't care about me at all and acts like I beat him or something. I do not do much of any discipline with him unless absolutely necessary. I leave that to his father. Anyways, my stupid little feelings are getting hurt by this continuously happening. I try to be the best "motherly figure" I can and I feel I just get walked on - by a toddler! I feel really dumb for saying all of this and I'd never tell my DH, so I guess I just need to vent. Why doesn't he care for me when there are other women around, and he gives complete strangers more respect than he'd ever give me (unless it was just us two hanging out). He would never dare to be rude to these other women, and they don't discipline him at all, he could get away with murder around these women. A part of me just wants to say fuck it and step away and stop caring if he truly even cares about me or how he looks at me. Like I've been wasting my time trying to form a relationship with him. Am I the only one who feels like this?