Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Not allowing in laws to see kids unsupervised

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:29 AM
  • 19 Replies

 So, dh and I have decided it is best if our children are not around his parents without one of us there. They are alcoholics and had been sober, but not anymore. Fil is drunk most of the time, and a mean drink to boot. Ds adores them though. He's 3. I don't know how to explain to him why I keep having to tell him no he can't stay with them. It breaks my heart to see him hurt over this. Does anyone have any advice to make this easier?

by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:29 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
vegaswife2011
by Emerald Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:30 AM

Good luck!

doodasmomma
by Anita on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:31 AM

 

Quoting vegaswife2011:

Good luck!

 Thanks.

Pushthruthepain
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:41 AM
Tell him that Grandpa drinks and when some people drink too much it makes them act different and when grandpa is acting different we can't be around him.It's how I explained to my 3 yo about my brother.
doodasmomma
by Anita on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:46 AM

 

Quoting Pushthruthepain:

Tell him that Grandpa drinks and when some people drink too much it makes them act different and when grandpa is acting different we can't be around him.It's how I explained to my 3 yo about my brother.

 Thank you. I just couldn't figure out how to word it. How did your child take it?

Pushthruthepain
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:51 AM
She a little was upset as was my 6yo but I explained to them that when Uncle drinks he's not himself he acts like a diff person.He's not happy and gives piggy back rides he yells and says mean things.And it's my job as your mommy to make sure you don't have to be around that stuff.Uncle still loves you he just can't come play right now because the drinking makes him sick.


Quoting doodasmomma:

 


Quoting Pushthruthepain:

Tell him that Grandpa drinks and when some people drink too much it makes them act different and when grandpa is acting different we can't be around him.It's how I explained to my 3 yo about my brother.

 Thank you. I just couldn't figure out how to word it. How did your child take it?


horseap
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:53 AM

 We dont allow our children to see them at all.

.Elena
by Bronze Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 3:04 AM

Do what you have to.

We have the same thing going on in our house. FIL is here for 2 more weeks. Ugh. He is never left alone with the younger (10 and under) kids. EVER. He's tried to indoctrinate our kids into his way of thinking before, or turn them against me, or plant lies in their head. We only tolerate him aorund at all because my MIL is great and the kids love her and need to see her.

yo_ho
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 3:12 AM

Just tell him that your ILs can't keep him safe at this time so he can't stay over there. But they love him and you will take him to see them. I would have your hubby having a talk with them though about if they are drunk and/or drinking, your DS won't be visiting.

My MIL is not allowed to watch our kids because she doesn't watch them. Being in the house or even outside when they are inside is not safe when the child is 2!

doodasmomma
by Anita on Jun. 25, 2013 at 3:16 AM

 So, it does get better for them?

Quoting Pushthruthepain:

She a little was upset as was my 6yo but I explained to them that when Uncle drinks he's not himself he acts like a diff person.He's not happy and gives piggy back rides he yells and says mean things.And it's my job as your mommy to make sure you don't have to be around that stuff.Uncle still loves you he just can't come play right now because the drinking makes him sick.


Quoting doodasmomma:

 


Quoting Pushthruthepain:

Tell him that Grandpa drinks and when some people drink too much it makes them act different and when grandpa is acting different we can't be around him.It's how I explained to my 3 yo about my brother.

 Thank you. I just couldn't figure out how to word it. How did your child take it?


 

doodasmomma
by Anita on Jun. 25, 2013 at 3:19 AM

That sounds awful. Thankfully ils don't live with us, only nearby. My mil is great with the kids to but she makes excuse after excuse for fil. She stayed sober longer than fil, but she starting back into it too.

Quoting .Elena:

Do what you have to.

We have the same thing going on in our house. FIL is here for 2 more weeks. Ugh. He is never left alone with the younger (10 and under) kids. EVER. He's tried to indoctrinate our kids into his way of thinking before, or turn them against me, or plant lies in their head. We only tolerate him aorund at all because my MIL is great and the kids love her and need to see her.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)