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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I can't believe he admitted it!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I told my husband how much it hurts my feelings when he is critical of my housekeeping.  

1- I disclosed very early in our relationship that I am a poor housekeeper, but I do try.  I am just not naturally a very neat and organized person, and I grew up with a maid.  I didn't do my first load of laundry, sweep a floor, or wash a dish until I was in college.  It makes me sad that I didn't learn these skills earlier because it truly is hard to develop those habits so late in life.  2- I'm home with four children.  I breastfeed two of them every 3 hours.  One is potty training.  I keep them busy all day with activities and outdoor play to keep them from being sucked into TV.  3- My priority is always having things done for the kids- their laundry, healthy homemade meals, homemade baby food.  4- I am suffering from terrible sleep psychosis.  I have not slept more than 4 hours in 6 months, and half the time, I forget where I am and what I am doing.

He is ZERO help at home, and he expects me to do everything for him.

So I tried to explain to him that I am struggling, and that it breaks my heart when he comes home and comments that I do nothing.  And wouldn't you know, that jerk said, "Well, when I give you a hard time about it, the next few days you seem to get more done."  So I said, "Are you telling me that you say hurtful things to me t try to manipulate me to be more productive?"  He shrugged and said, "Yeah.... I guess so."

angry 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:23 PM
Replies (161-170):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on Jun. 26, 2013 at 7:23 PM
Wow! He must not realize how important sleep is and how lack of it effects a person.
idunno1234
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:20 PM
5 moms liked this

I read through this entire thread with growing horror.

Then I had to take a break before I could respond because I try very hard to be respectful, even if I disagree with people but.....damn, some of these "women" on here make it tough.

You are breastfeeding twins.  That in itself, along with their care, is a 24/7 job.  Add a two year old and  5 year old, and as far as I'm concerned, if they are alive, fed, mostly clean and relatively healthy at the end of the day, you deserve a medal.  Every single day.

I can't believe some of the shit coming from women on this thread.  From fucking WOMEN.  I am ashamed to be a member of the same sex as some of you shitheads who, instead of offering the OP support, told her that she should have no problem keeping a clean house as well as essentially being a single parent taking care of these kids BY HERSELF, claiming she's just lazy, or not good enough at organizing time or scheduling, that her husband was right in criticizing her because after all, she did better when he did.  Telling her that its her job (or as some of you seem to imply, nonjob) to work 24/7 and let her neanderthal lazy ass husband work his damn 8 and show no respect for what she does whatsoever,no awareness of the amount of herculean, superhuman effort involved in taking care of four small children, two of them BREASTFEEDING.

I had 4 children (my last was also a surprise) but mine were much further apart (my oldest was 9 1/2 when my youngest was born).  I've had many jobs but it was still by far the hardest(albeit mostly rewarding) job I've ever had.  The idiots on here who actually say that he has a job and you don't and therefore he should be able to come home to a clean house and have laundry, everything done....I'm truly disgusted at some of you females who hold women back, who have a fantasy view of what sahm's are supposed to be, who diminish the sahm's job or imply that cleaning has anywhere near the importance of simply taking care of the children, who don't readily admit how hard it must be to take care of 6 month old twins, a 2 year old and a five year old all by yourself with no break. 

I don't give a shit that some of you say that you handle your umpteen children, while happily cleaning and keeping everything spotless, have kids in all sorts of activities and have dinner on the table when he comes home, make up and hair done, dressed nicely and  a bj promised to him after your umpteen kiddies get put to bed by you solely, because you wouldn't want to trouble Your Highness.  You idiots who think this is the way it should be and pretend that you are living this ideal, fuck you.  You do all of us a disservice, not by living the life you say you want to lead, but by acting as if in the year 2013, a woman with four small children doesn't deserve respect for the incredibly tough job she does and doesn't deserve help from the idiot who works far, far less and helped her create those children.

Sorry....I doubt I helped you OP but I know I feel a lot better.  Actually, I would feel better if I individually addressed each of those sorry excuses for females that seem to think its okay to have a husband who diminishes the difficulty and relentlessness of being a sahm with young children, who has so little respect for the mother of his children that when he comes home from his leisurely 8 hours, he sits on his ass and does nothing while criticizing.  I literally can't wrap my brain around the fucked up criticism and judgment you received on this thread.  They're idiots...ignore them all.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:31 PM
No offense, but who really cares if you agree? The point is that I stated a concern, and he agreed that the children cared for (without TV, movies, and other electronics) and dinner on the table were the most important. He assured me that he would be supportive and not critical during these first few months as I adjust to having the twins, being home, and our first year with a summer break. If you find him so agreeable, then you are welcome to come on over and have a try because he is certainly not honoring his agreement with me.
Quoting JustBreath2013:

Well I respectfully disagree.... laundry should be kept up, and daily cleaning done. That is part if being a sahm

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not perfect.  It's also not by any means unlivable.

A few months after the twins were born (in March), I chose not to return to the job I loved because WE thought it was best.  The last thing I said before calling my boss was this: "I am not a stay at home maid.  I am a stay at home mom.  I will tend to our children.  I will take care of their needs and wants.  I will teach them.  I will play with them.  I can promise that.  But I will not promise that the house is going to be cleaned and the laundry done every day when you get home.  I just don't know that it's going to happen, and I don't expect to be made to feel bad for not being perfect."  He said he understood and was all supportive.  What a load of bullshit.


Quoting JustBreath2013:

Not to be mean, but if he is working and you are not, you really owe it to him and the kids to keep a clean house. Not perfect but clean! I am sorry but he has a point!





Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:34 PM
Amen. Even my little 22 year old brother (who is a complete male chauvinist jerk a lot of the time) said one night after my husband left the room, "Damn... Is it just me, or is it 1952 in here?" :)
Quoting Anonymous:

 Then why don't you go help her? Sorry but you don't live her life or walk in her shoes so you don't know what life could be like for her. Neglect small children to make a lazy man happy. This is 2013 not 1913.


Quoting JustBreath2013:

Well I respectfully disagree.... laundry should be kept up, and daily cleaning done. That is part if being a sahm

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not perfect.  It's also not by any means unlivable.

A few months after the twins were born (in March), I chose not to return to the job I loved because WE thought it was best.  The last thing I said before calling my boss was this: "I am not a stay at home maid.  I am a stay at home mom.  I will tend to our children.  I will take care of their needs and wants.  I will teach them.  I will play with them.  I can promise that.  But I will not promise that the house is going to be cleaned and the laundry done every day when you get home.  I just don't know that it's going to happen, and I don't expect to be made to feel bad for not being perfect."  He said he understood and was all supportive.  What a load of bullshit.


Quoting JustBreath2013:

Not to be mean, but if he is working and you are not, you really owe it to him and the kids to keep a clean house. Not perfect but clean! I am sorry but he has a point!

 


 


 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:39 PM

I was explaining the twins' schedule to their pediatrician this morning at their 6 month appointment, and he was horrified.  He is also a father of 4.  He said, "Wow... I was at the hospital 80-100 hours a week when we only had 1 child, and there was no way I would have expected my wife to get up alone every single time.

He also mentioned sleep deprivation and psychosis, and I had to explain that I've already been diagnosed with sleep psychosis.

embarrassed

*embarrassing!!*


Quoting Anonymous:

Wow! He must not realize how important sleep is and how lack of it effects a person.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on Jun. 26, 2013 at 9:33 PM
Ha ha! I'm not married. :) still have a clean house.


Quoting Anonymous:

Your husband must have married down, too. :/



Quoting Anonymous:

What a shitty statement! YOU weren't rich, your parents were!!!

You sound like a spoiled lazy princess. I had for kids in five years, breastfed, and kept our house. I am now wealthy, ME-not my parents-and I still keep the house clean. Smh!





Quoting Anonymous:

I did marry down, and it has caused a world of problems.




Quoting Mcelly:

What an a$$hole. Why don't you have a maid? I guess you married down. Wowen should always marry someone who is at least at their level.











Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:37 PM

Oh, you mean that you don't have an overgrown man-child to pick up after? One who makes more messes than the children?


Quoting Anonymous:

Ha ha! I'm not married. :) still have a clean house.


Quoting Anonymous:

Your husband must have married down, too. :/



Quoting Anonymous:

What a shitty statement! YOU weren't rich, your parents were!!!

You sound like a spoiled lazy princess. I had for kids in five years, breastfed, and kept our house. I am now wealthy, ME-not my parents-and I still keep the house clean. Smh!





Quoting Anonymous:

I did marry down, and it has caused a world of problems.




Quoting Mcelly:

What an a$$hole. Why don't you have a maid? I guess you married down. Wowen should always marry someone who is at least at their level.













Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:38 PM

I'm grateful for the ladies here who have a little sense.

Thank you for your kindness.


Quoting idunno1234:

I read through this entire thread with growing horror.

Then I had to take a break before I could respond because I try very hard to be respectful, even if I disagree with people but.....damn, some of these "women" on here make it tough.

You are breastfeeding twins.  That in itself, along with their care, is a 24/7 job.  Add a two year old and  5 year old, and as far as I'm concerned, if they are alive, fed, mostly clean and relatively healthy at the end of the day, you deserve a medal.  Every single day.

I can't believe some of the shit coming from women on this thread.  From fucking WOMEN.  I am ashamed to be a member of the same sex as some of you shitheads who, instead of offering the OP support, told her that she should have no problem keeping a clean house as well as essentially being a single parent taking care of these kids BY HERSELF, claiming she's just lazy, or not good enough at organizing time or scheduling, that her husband was right in criticizing her because after all, she did better when he did.  Telling her that its her job (or as some of you seem to imply, nonjob) to work 24/7 and let her neanderthal lazy ass husband work his damn 8 and show no respect for what she does whatsoever,no awareness of the amount of herculean, superhuman effort involved in taking care of four small children, two of them BREASTFEEDING.

I had 4 children (my last was also a surprise) but mine were much further apart (my oldest was 9 1/2 when my youngest was born).  I've had many jobs but it was still by far the hardest(albeit mostly rewarding) job I've ever had.  The idiots on here who actually say that he has a job and you don't and therefore he should be able to come home to a clean house and have laundry, everything done....I'm truly disgusted at some of you females who hold women back, who have a fantasy view of what sahm's are supposed to be, who diminish the sahm's job or imply that cleaning has anywhere near the importance of simply taking care of the children, who don't readily admit how hard it must be to take care of 6 month old twins, a 2 year old and a five year old all by yourself with no break. 

I don't give a shit that some of you say that you handle your umpteen children, while happily cleaning and keeping everything spotless, have kids in all sorts of activities and have dinner on the table when he comes home, make up and hair done, dressed nicely and  a bj promised to him after your umpteen kiddies get put to bed by you solely, because you wouldn't want to trouble Your Highness.  You idiots who think this is the way it should be and pretend that you are living this ideal, fuck you.  You do all of us a disservice, not by living the life you say you want to lead, but by acting as if in the year 2013, a woman with four small children doesn't deserve respect for the incredibly tough job she does and doesn't deserve help from the idiot who works far, far less and helped her create those children.

Sorry....I doubt I helped you OP but I know I feel a lot better.  Actually, I would feel better if I individually addressed each of those sorry excuses for females that seem to think its okay to have a husband who diminishes the difficulty and relentlessness of being a sahm with young children, who has so little respect for the mother of his children that when he comes home from his leisurely 8 hours, he sits on his ass and does nothing while criticizing.  I literally can't wrap my brain around the fucked up criticism and judgment you received on this thread.  They're idiots...ignore them all.



Nicolekathryn12
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:44 PM

Just try and let it in one ear and out the other.  I know that's easier said than done. But just remind yourself that you are doing the best you can do with 4 small children. We aren't perfect and being a mother is the hardest job in the world. It sounds like you are doing one hell of a job to me.  Screw him if he doesn't like the way you keep house. He can always do it himself if its not good enough. Just try and not let it bother you, your doing a good job.  Hugs.  

mcclainprincess
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:45 PM
He's a prick obviously.. But was he like this with baby number one and two or is this a new behavior?
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