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Im gaining weight again :(

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:25 PM
  • 19 Replies

I am in the middle of moving out of my husbands house, and filing for divorce. I know its not an excuse, but my eating disorders have always made me starve myself half the time, and binge the rest of the time. And it is triggered by stress, anxiety, and depression. 

I have been ordering pizza nearly every day. I feed my daughter her healthy food all day, i dont eat a damn thing becuase im just so depressed that i am not hungry. 

then after she goes to bed, i order a large white sauce pizza with asagio and feta cheese. a side of lava cakes, and a 2 litre root beer. 

and i eat it ALL MYSELF. 

Ive done this for about 3 months now. :( :( :( 

And i can FEEL my new pants that i was so proud of (2 sizes smaller than i used to be) get tight again :( :( :( :(



I know this is my fault. and i am going to fix it, by excersizing self control, and forcing myself NOT to do this anymore.

but i just needed somewhere to vent about it.

Maybe get some good constructive critizism.

Here are some before and after pics.

First pic is last year, after losing some weight. I was so proud!

Then after the last few months. 


 




*PS yes thats the asshole im leaving.


by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Get yourself healthy, and good luck moving forward.
weezer_cookie
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Are you in therapy? I'm not going to shame you. That won't help. But a professional could help you overcome these issues. Please don't try to do it on your own. Sometimes we need to admit when we need help. Good luck. You don't look awful.
JP-StrongForTwo
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:32 PM

Thanks for trying to lift my spirits. 

I was in therapy. but i had a horrible therapist who did NOTHING the whole hour at my appts. just sat there and expected me to talk. and i would sit there quiet the whole time thinking 'well, what the hell do you want me to talk about' 

i quit going, but then never started going again. I will start again though. 

Quoting weezer_cookie:

Are you in therapy? I'm not going to shame you. That won't help. But a professional could help you overcome these issues. Please don't try to do it on your own. Sometimes we need to admit when we need help. Good luck. You don't look awful.


rachellaree20
by Rachel on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I struggled with eating disorder issues in the past and having people shame me never helped, in fact, it made things worse and I'd try to be more secretive about it and end up worse then before.  I'd suggest seeking help, therapy, treatment groups, ect.  For me, a support group helped a lot and I was able to not feel so alone struggling with my issues and it was amazing to get other's perspecitves on the eating disorder.  Eventually I was able to get a handle on things and now have a much healthier relationship with food and feel more stable in other aspects of life as well.  Feel free to message me if you want to talk!  I'll help however I can!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:34 PM

Stress can do silly things to people and why would some of us Judge you that's like judging ourselves. I know for me when I am under stress I don't eat and the weight drops off for others they eat.

Just try and do some self control, walk everyday if nothing else.

Good for you for getting out I hope and pray for the best for you always!

JP-StrongForTwo
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Thank you. Maybe i should take that part out of the post then. Its not that i want people to shame me. its just that i was thinking maybe it would make me feel accountable for it. but you are right, it would probably just make me more depressed and hide it. 

Quoting rachellaree20:

I struggled with eating disorder issues in the past and having people shame me never helped, in fact, it made things worse and I'd try to be more secretive about it and end up worse then before.  I'd suggest seeking help, therapy, treatment groups, ect.  For me, a support group helped a lot and I was able to not feel so alone struggling with my issues and it was amazing to get other's perspecitves on the eating disorder.  Eventually I was able to get a handle on things and now have a much healthier relationship with food and feel more stable in other aspects of life as well.  Feel free to message me if you want to talk!  I'll help however I can!


JP-StrongForTwo
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:37 PM

I honestly wish I was able to lose weight by not eating. Even when i dont binge eat, if im not eating, im gaining weight. The best way i have found to lose weight was working in the gym, and eating 6 small HEALTHY meals a day. but with the divorce and saving and money issues, i lost my gym membership, and i just dont feel like eating during the day. its not until i sit down by myself to wind down for the evening that i feel like stuffing my face. 


Thank you. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Stress can do silly things to people and why would some of us Judge you that's like judging ourselves. I know for me when I am under stress I don't eat and the weight drops off for others they eat.

Just try and do some self control, walk everyday if nothing else.

Good for you for getting out I hope and pray for the best for you always!


JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:39 PM
3 moms liked this

Put all of the money that you would spend each day on pizza and put it towards a vacation for yourself, sounds like you could use it...and it may give you some motivation to lose the weight. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Hi. I know how you are feeling. I have the same issues that you have. Are you divorcing due to the weight ? Why do you need to leave , why can't he ? I've tried therapy to and they isn't help me , just felt like a waste of time and money. Having depression and anxiety is the worst ...are you taking any meds for it ? 

JP-StrongForTwo
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:42 PM


That is a great idea. Thank you. 

Quoting JulyBabies:

Put all of the money that you would spend each day on pizza and put it towards a vacation for yourself, sounds like you could use it...and it may give you some motivation to lose the weight. 


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