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Males and sexual abuse...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
I was reading another post, and it got me thinking. Someone said that male sexual abuse is under reported. I was thinking that I know some men who I consider have been sexually abused, but they are unsure.

For example: my husband lost his viginity to a 17 year old when he was 14. She pushed him to have sex, used to make him watch porn and masturbate in front of her, and pushed him around about other things too (not hanging out with his friends, etc.). He said that he kept what was happening to himself, and never told his friends or anything. If this had happened to a woman, it definitely would qualify as abuse. But he doesn't consider it to be...

Also, my BIL lost his virginity at 13 to a 17 year old babysitter. When he spoke about it, he said "I guess I should have considered myself lucky, but it just made me feel different and uncomfortable."

What do you think? Do you know any guys who have been through something like this? Do they consider it rape/molestation?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 2:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
xoxRachelxox
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:01 PM

I don't know any that went through those types of situations. 

My brother was raped when he was 10 by his friends father. He didn't tell anyone until recently and he's 40 years old. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:02 PM

My dh says it is only sexual abuse when the woman is not hot.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:02 PM

Yes, my ex-boyfriend told me that his sister and the neighbor girl molested him when he was camping in a tent in his backyard as a child. He told no one other than me, it was so sad :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:04 PM

DH was sexually abused, never reported it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:07 PM
2 moms liked this

I suppose he thinks that's funny too. Lets flip that and say we're talking about women being sexually abused. If a guy said "It's only sexual abuse if the guy was ugly." it isn't funny anymore is it?


Quoting Anonymous:

My dh says it is only sexual abuse when the woman is not hot.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:08 PM
And I'm sure that that's the attitude that keeps young men who are abused from reporting it...sad


Quoting Anonymous:

My dh says it is only sexual abuse when the woman is not hot.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:09 PM
Most men don't, with you dh sounds like it..other maybe
IFartGlitter
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:14 PM
I used to be ignorant enough to think that if a guy got an erection, he wanted it. Then I looked at my own situation, realized lubrication and orgasm don't mean I wanted it... The same applies to men.

Yes, I know of men who have been sexually abused or raped. It definitely goes underreported.
MamaRae85
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:19 PM

I know someone who was molested multiple times as a child by girls who were close to his own age. His belief is that they, too had been molested. He also didn't really realize that it had been molestation until he talked to me about it. He had never told anyone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:21 PM

 the thing with guys trying to  blow it off  is they dont want to identify themselves as a victim, they may feel by admitting they are a victim of sexual abuse that  that is then their identity, that thats all they are, why they are who they are ect ect.

 dh  mom sexually abused him from as long as he has memories. his 1st memories are of physical and sexaul abuse. she also was an addict and  traded him to be used for sex in exchange for her drugs. she did this with all her kids. dh claimed his dad didnt know thta he worked all the time and made good money , supposedly enough to supply their drugs (his dad was an adict as well) but seriously how could he not know something was going on, so many injuries which  he knew of that even he did not get them medical attention except once when  dh nearly bleed out from his mom  slashing him with a knife , she supposedly told his dad that he fell on it when running through the kitchen......... and well if he made enough money to cover the drugs why would they go so fast to the point she sold the kids for sex to stay high? how could he not know any thing at all? it was a blessing  when she overdosed when he was 15.

 dh hasnt really had counciling. he saw someone at school  a few months after his mom overdosed and they basically wanted to hav e him locked up  said he was psychotic , well yes he had alot of anger but he didnt tell them what his home life was.... and his dad changed schools after the concilor talked with him...

 in dh case there was nothing to be "unsure" of. since we have been together and he trusts me, this past few months hes been having nightmares or what you would call flash backs remembering more  incidents of things his mom did to him and his siblings. hes not all that trusting of shrinks but agrees it could take time seeing different ones to find a good one. but hes wary of him  spilling everything of his child hood and  them wanting to just lock him up  that hes crazy or whatever. his mom had also told him that no one would belive him if he told that they would say hes crazy and lock him up for the rest of his life so you can see where he has a complex about getting help  to confront the past and someone calling him crazy or labling him all sorts of  pych diagnosis.

 dh doesnt count everything done by the  hands of his mom and  others she sold him to for sex as  losing his virginity. i dont think anyone could blame him for not wanting that to count. officially to him he lost his virginity at 18.

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