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I might lose my best friend:(

Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
I've known my best friend since we were babies. We are now 35. I am divorced with 2 kids.....but currently engaged and the wedding is in the Fall. She is divorced with 1 child. Our sons are only 1 year apart so they are good friends. Anyway, best friend picks some major losers to date. The current guy doesn't have any kids and really doesn't like her 13 year old.

This guy does steriods and has a temper. He has slammed my friend's head into a wall and pulled her by her hair to the ground. He says the most horrible things to her. I....being her best friend....really DON'T like this "man". However, we live over 300 miles from each other so it's not like I have to hang out with him.

I'm planning (or was planning) to visit her and her son....and bring my kids as well. Her "man" says she cannot hang out with me and our kids without him. We're talking about ONE DAY here. I don't want to be around this guy so I guess I won't be seeing my friend. She is also supposed to be IN my wedding this Fall. She plans to stay at MY house. Now she says she cannot unless he is welcome too.

I'm NOT one of those people that can "fake it" around people I strongly dislike. I DON'T want this guy at my house or wedding. Am I wrong?? I feel like she is forcing me to be around him. They constantly argue and break up. I don't like him and I don't want the drama....especially when I'm getting married!

I do feel like IF she doesn't come to my wedding and be IN it as planned....our friendship will be over. I've known her my whole life. I was IN her wedding (her wedding with her son's father). I don't think I'm being selfish but maybe I am. I would NEVER insist on bringing my SO somewhere they weren't welcome nor would I skip out on my best friend's wedding because my abusive POS boyfriend isn't welcome.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 27, 2013 at 2:23 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 2:31 PM
1 mom liked this

 Well, sorry, I guess you're gonna lose your friend, but it's her choice--don't be surprised if one day she comes crawling back, or maybe she won't; it'll be her loss--in the meantime, enjoy your wedding and say a prayer for her...

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 27, 2013 at 2:35 PM
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 2:47 PM
Tell her shes a fucking idiot and that you wont take her child when this man kills her.
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 27, 2013 at 2:49 PM

Give her this number  1−800−799−SAFE(7233) and pray she calls.

by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 2:53 PM
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 27, 2013 at 2:59 PM

Can you afford to pay for a motel room for them? I don't think I'd like to have my bff & her pos bf staying in my house considering how he treats her. I really think it would be more than I could keep my mouth shut about if he began to pull some of his shit. That would just create more a problem for her, & the fall out would come from that. To be honest I don't think she will actually make it to your wedding. From what you've written the way that this guy is controlling her life I wouldn't be surprised if at the last minute she can't make it. I think this guy is going to make sure that your friendship with her is cut apart. I don't think you saying you don't want him there is going to ruin your friendship I think this guy already has or has it so fragile anything will break it. 

I don't think you can win no matter which way you go. 1)you say go ahead bring him, they stay w/you and you bite your tongue til it falls out of your mouth, which makes you angry about everything. 2)you say no I don't want him to stay in my house, she tells you no him no me. 3)you say I'll pay for a motel for the both of you to stay in, she gets upset because you don't want him around. 

by Silver Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 3:02 PM
I had to stop talking to my best friend of 19 years. Just too much drama. The relationship was one sided and I got fed up. You gotta do what you gotta do. It sucks at first but its really for the best. Trust me I hope that some day she contacts me and apologizes and we can be friends again...but that might never happen, and over the last year ive become okay with that. Ive made other friends and gotten involved with a local moms group and in doing so realized there are friends who are much better for my life...friends that live lives similar to mine...not constant drama. Whatever happens it will be okay. Good luck.
by Emerald Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 3:05 PM
Some people are too thick to listen to reason. If she actually marries this jackass, she can't come back later whining about how he wasn't that way before she married him. Seriously. There are going to be some major consequences for this, including consequences for her innocent children. Your friend is a fool. Hopefully she'll wise up before goes and marries him.
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by Silver Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 3:13 PM
Do NOT allow both of those idiots to ruin your big day. If you did let him come and stay at your house, I guarantee he will get dramatic, angry, and possibly VIOLENT because her attention will not be 100% on him. Not to mention how he will react at the reception with alcohol!
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