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I don't want to contribute to SIL's adoption fund because I think she would make a crappy mother

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 125 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What should we do?

Options:

Don't give anything since that's how you feel

Give $100 or so just to keep the peace

Other, please specify


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 165

View Results

SIL and her DH are looking into starting the process to adopt a baby. They are wanting to adopt from China because her DH is Chinese.

Anyway, they have talked to the agency and found out that with everything, the adoption will likely cost about $25,000. They don't have that kind of money, they said they will need another $10,000 and they have to have it before they can even start the process.

They have decided to have a adoption donation party. I really don't want to go and I certainly don't want to give any money. The reason is, I think SIL would make a crappy mother. She doesn't like kids (mine or any of her friends kids), I mean I know you own kid is different but you would think if she really wanted to be a mom, she would at least be interested in her nieces and nephews. Also, she can't even take care of the various pets she has gotten and returned over the past few years.

Now, I know my opinion doesn't really matter, but I think that since they are asking for money, my opinion should dictate how much, if any I give.

DH said it is up to me what we give (he agrees with me about his sister). We are not hurting for money at all, in fact, we do very well. If I thought she would make a decent mother, I would probably say we should donate $2,000. However, to keep the peace, I am thinking about giving $100 or so. I am sure it is way less then she expects from us, since DH does make a very good income, but the way I figure, if we give SOMETHING, they can't complain or make a fuss that we aren't being supportive.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:04 PM

BUMP!

mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:05 PM

You are not obligated to give any money.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:06 PM
1 mom liked this

momof2boy2girl
by Valerie on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Would this be the equivalent of having a child on welfare?

pregnancy

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this
You're not obligated to give them anything but keep in mind that she is family and when she does adopt you'll have a new niece (more than likely will be female) and she will be part of your family as well.

Just explain your money is tied up elsewhere but you would love to babysit and buy cute things for when the baby comes home.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:07 PM
12 moms liked this

I think that is tacky.  She should not be trying to adopt in the first place if she could not afford it.  So she is now asking others to pay for it?  I say dont give money for all the reason you listed and the fact that she cant afford it.

JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this

So incredibly tacky to have a party like that but that is besides the point.

I would give something to keep the peace and I think $100 is fair.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:08 PM
My thought also.

Quoting Anonymous:

I think that is tacky.  She should not be trying to adopt in the first place if she could not afford it.  So she is now asking others to pay for it?  I say dont give money for all the reason you listed and the fact that she cant afford it.

bunnyxlover
by hippity hop on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:08 PM
5 moms liked this

im wondering if giving the 100 when shes expecting a lot more from you would cause even more conflict.

If she cant even take care of a pet and doesnt like kids, why is she trying to adopt?

Famousglm714
by Gina on Jun. 27, 2013 at 5:09 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I think that is tacky.  She should not be trying to adopt in the first place if she could not afford it.  So she is now asking others to pay for it?  I say dont give money for all the reason you listed and the fact that she cant afford it.

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