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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Should we, as parents, attempt to stop our kids from having sex?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies

 

Poll

Question: In my situation, would you do everything you could to stop him from having sex?

Options:

Yes, I don't care what it takes, the boy is NOT having sex

I would tell him I would rather he wait but push safe sex if he doesn't

My only concern would be that he is safe


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 83

View Results

I am a single mom of my 3 kids (my ex left for another woman 3 years ago and hasn't even contacted our kids after the divorce, the child support is the only contact we have with him and that is through child support enforcement), my oldest is a 16 year old boy. Yesterday I read text messages on his phone (he left his phone at home and I was going through it to get his friend's new number so I could call his friend who he was with). They were very sexual in nature between him and his girlfriend and from the text messages I found that they are planning on having sex. They are both about to be juniors in high school and they have been dating since freshman year. 

I don't know what to do. I have talked with him about waiting and if he doesn't,  he has to wear a condom every time and make sure she is on the pill. Part of me wants to lock him in his room till he turns 25 but the more realistic part of me just wants to make sure he is being safe about it. The fact is, if they are hell bent on having sex, there isn't much I can do to stop it. I work and I can't be home 24/7.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:39 AM

BUMP!

shadow_lark
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:42 AM
I want my kids to wait and they will know that, but at that age its impossible to police every action and still allow them the freedom to grow. I think its best to just push being safe
Anastacia1988
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:45 AM
3 moms liked this
I would of just texted her from his phone "oh yeah baby and I'm gonna wrap it nice for you first ... Because my mother raised me right "
mhubble
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:45 AM
2 moms liked this

my 17 year old boy did the same thing all i dod is talk about it all the time and buy him condoms and ask every month do you need more and it gets to them because boys dont like talking about sex in frount of there mom but if it pervent and grand kids at there year i will no it I did the same thing with my 19 year old girl and she is still not prego  so it must be working so fare I think

 

couture-mommy
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:45 AM
2 moms liked this
I honestly don't know how you would bring it up being as though you went through his phone.
That's never a good thing to do.
But, teens will have sex regardless and especially if you force the opposite. Go to the store and buy condoms and leave it on his dresser. That's subtle enough for him to get the hint
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:46 AM
I would just reeducate him until it is no longer sexy to have sex. Lol

There would be pictures and everything...

No but really all I can do is talk to him and ask that he be safe no matter what... That he's worked this hard in school to blow it over one night of carelessness...
danie24
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:47 AM
4 moms liked this

Yes, it's our job.

I would talk to her parents about the texts. In fact, I would send them so they could read it themselves.

And I would sit down my son and show him some videos of women giving birth. LOL

And I would show him photos of what every STD looks like, list all the symptoms, etc.

And I would find a loving family member who would lend us their infant baby for a few days so he could babysit and do every bit of work (under my and the mother's supervision).


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:48 AM

I agree, I hate to say it like I have no control but the fact is that from 1:45 when he gets home from school till about 5 pm when I get home, he is home alone. My DD is in junior high and gets out at 3:30 but has activities most days so I pick her up and my youngest is in elementary school but goes to after school care because sometime DS has stuff after school or sometimes he is at work.



Quoting shadow_lark:

I want my kids to wait and they will know that, but at that age its impossible to police every action and still allow them the freedom to grow. I think its best to just push being safe



lilbit53009
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:49 AM

i'd push safe sex at this point....

i was sexually active at 16 also and my mom got me on the pill

yrfavoritseason
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Talk to him about it! It won't change his mind, but it will hold him accountable for his actions if he gets her pregnant. My mom was very open about sex with me at that age, but she did not outline what would happen if I did get pregnant. Maybe if she would have I wouldn't have gotten pregnant at 16 (miscarriage). I would be clear with him.. say something like "You are old enough to make your own decisions. But, if there is an unplanned pregnancy, you will support her and the baby..finish school.. (insert whatever your rules are).. and maybe add an example of someone you know who had kids young and are struggling. Just my advice from a "young parent's" perspective :)
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