Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Up all night worried sick, long, my sister could have been shot last night.

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:01 AM
  • 9 Replies

:( 

My sister called me at almost midnight last night, I had just turned off the light. And I didnt sleep very well after I finally got off the phone with her

She had the day from hell yesterday. Her boyfriend, and father of her one month old son, was taken to jail for aggravated assault, felonious restraint and probably more since he pulled a gun on her IN FRONT OF A POLICE OFFICER (he didnt know the officer was there when he did it, a neighbor had called the police and when no one answered the door they went around back and saw them through the bedroom window.) 

Now she is stuck out there, across the country from any of her family and friends, with his family (who apparently has been protecting him and making sure she hasnt called to police on him the other dozens of times he's beat her since FEBRUARY) and my two nephews (she has a 2 yo from a previous relationship.)

She's been advised not to come home until everything has been taken care of (because the officers witnessed some of the assault and the gun she doesnt have a choice in whether charges are pressed and pursued) and I am so worried about her. A restraining order is just a piece of paper, and when he gets bailed out what is stopping him from going and killing her. And probably my nephews too because guess what he was doing before he started beating on her.... Blowing in his infant's face til he couldnt breathe because he was pissed off that the INFANT had kept him up all night. The police confinscated all the weapons in the home but his dad has all kinds of guns. 

I told her to get her ass to a shelter, because her apartment isnt safe... And I told her that just because she was told to stay around doesnt mean that the boys had to and to send them home, there is plenty of family willing to take them in if she feels they arent safe with her... And Im especially worried for the baby, if she doesnt get 100% custody for some reason... poor thing has to grow up (if he's lucky) with the asshole and my sister has to coparent with him.

Ugh, I just want to fly out there and play momma bear to my little sister and my innocent nephews... but it isnt my fight to fight, and I've got my own kids to worry about without getting involved with a bunch of violent rednecks. I just get to sit on the sidelines and offer support. 

:((

And I told her "this is the meanest thing i will ever say to you, but if you take him back, if you stay out there with him when this is over. I will make sure those boys end up somewhere safe and you will be dead to me. I will have my own little private funeral for you and be done with you because I wont worry and wait for him to kill you. I love you and will help you every step of the way, but you almost DIED, and if he's already at *that* level of abuse, there will be no stopping him next time" 

I know it was horrible of me, but I wont do it.

by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:01 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
julainepw
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Not a good situation at all. If I was her I would talk to the police again and see what I could do to get the hell out of there. Screw staying around to make it easier for them to do their job. If my life and my children's lives are in danger I would be gone! Too many times has a restraining order been in place and an abused women has been killed anyway. When someone has no regard for laws anyway why do they care about a stupid piece of paper. Get out of there! Ask a lawyer and I can pretty much guarantee they will say do whatever you have to in order to keep yourself and family safe.
anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:10 AM

ell, bump... 

I need to get ready for work, but I just really wanted to vent a little.... 

Stupid jerk... 

julainepw
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:10 AM
Oops have not has. My bad!
anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:13 AM


Quoting julainepw:

Not a good situation at all. If I was her I would talk to the police again and see what I could do to get the hell out of there. Screw staying around to make it easier for them to do their job. If my life and my children's lives are in danger I would be gone! Too many times has a restraining order been in place and an abused women has been killed anyway. When someone has no regard for laws anyway why do they care about a stupid piece of paper. Get out of there! Ask a lawyer and I can pretty much guarantee they will say do whatever you have to in order to keep yourself and family safe.

She should be meeting with a DV counselor right now. I am going to be a wreck until I hear from her tonight. 

I can understand if she finds a safe place to stay and take care of everything. But there is no reason those boys need to be out there. Screw getting his permission to send the infant out of state, I told her she need a lawyer right now to start getting sole custody and no visitation

PartyOfCuatro
by Silver Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Good idea.
Hope she at least went to shelter, sounds like the family will be pissed and may come after her.


Quoting julainepw:

Not a good situation at all. If I was her I would talk to the police again and see what I could do to get the hell out of there. Screw staying around to make it easier for them to do their job. If my life and my children's lives are in danger I would be gone! Too many times has a restraining order been in place and an abused women has been killed anyway. When someone has no regard for laws anyway why do they care about a stupid piece of paper. Get out of there! Ask a lawyer and I can pretty much guarantee they will say do whatever you have to in order to keep yourself and family safe.

anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:15 AM

She was at the apartment last night but I told her that today she needed to get out. His dad was out of state last night and he was in jail, but all bets are off today

Quoting PartyOfCuatro:

Good idea.
Hope she at least went to shelter, sounds like the family will be pissed and may come after her.


Quoting julainepw:

Not a good situation at all. If I was her I would talk to the police again and see what I could do to get the hell out of there. Screw staying around to make it easier for them to do their job. If my life and my children's lives are in danger I would be gone! Too many times has a restraining order been in place and an abused women has been killed anyway. When someone has no regard for laws anyway why do they care about a stupid piece of paper. Get out of there! Ask a lawyer and I can pretty much guarantee they will say do whatever you have to in order to keep yourself and family safe.


michiganmom5150
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:21 AM
She could probably send the older one, but if she sent the younger one, her bf could say it was kidnapping since he technically has 50% custody. Unless she files a temp emergency custody order. She can go to court, claim it's a dangerous situation and they may let her legally send the baby. She needs to go stay at a DV shelter(they are secret, I used to volunteer at one, so men can't find out where they are), or with a friend. If he finds out his kid is gone, he may get pissed. She needs to be somewhere safe. Good luck. Btw, you told her the right thing. You gotta protect your nephews!
anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:28 AM

Yeah, I told her she needed a lawyer and to get everyone possible involved to get his custodial rights taken away. i couldnt remember the process last night but told her that the DV counselor she has a appt with today would be able to give her the right info. 

IDK... I'm tempted to make sure that the older boy's dad knows what is going on, he is on the east coast too (not the same state as me and the rest of our family though), she is in Wyoming now... but I am going to ask her if she told him first. I just think that he has the riht to make sure his son is safe.

Quoting michiganmom5150:

She could probably send the older one, but if she sent the younger one, her bf could say it was kidnapping since he technically has 50% custody. Unless she files a temp emergency custody order. She can go to court, claim it's a dangerous situation and they may let her legally send the baby. She needs to go stay at a DV shelter(they are secret, I used to volunteer at one, so men can't find out where they are), or with a friend. If he finds out his kid is gone, he may get pissed. She needs to be somewhere safe. Good luck. Btw, you told her the right thing. You gotta protect your nephews!


anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:36 AM

BUMP!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)