Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I have been avoiding my brother and need advice...

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:33 AM
  • 11 Replies
Because he is a dick.
He can be the coolest guy you'll ever meet. Most of the time, he's great.
My brother has an anger problem (and I'm learning that I do too) and when he is upset at someone, he will cut you down until you feel like the piece of shit he is trying to convince you that you are.
So here's why I've been avoiding him...
Brother, SIL, niece, and our Mom have all joined Tae Kwon Do. Awesome! My youngest son (8) thinks its great too and wanted to go to one of their classes with them, last week. So I asked, they took him with no problem. Well, my know-it-all son thinks, after watching one class, that he knows Tae Kwon Do and goes outside with the rest of the class after class ended. He does some kind of made up move and kicks my niece's feet out from under her. She smacks her head on the concrete and gets a goose egg on her head. (Poor kid)
Of course my mom and brother were understandably pissed. My mom says my brother handled it very well. She said he was pissed, but told my DS about the reasoning behind Tae Kwon Do (only used as a last resort, and only used when necessary, etc), and that if he has never taken classes, he isn't informed enough to use it. Also, that if he wants to do stuff like that, it is not ok and he would not hang out with my niece. Absolutely fair. I'm proud of him for that. (And of course, he saw proper punishment for it at home, I am in no way condoning my son's actions)
That night, I texted my brother and asked if she was ok. No answer. I texted a little while later saying how sorry I was. No answer. My SIL ended up calling my mom to tell her that my niece is ok. No reply to me. The next night, my brother texts me with two words, "its ok". And hasn't talked to me since. This would be no big deal, but my brother does two things when he gets mad at me, snap on me till I cry (his version of winning an argument) or completely ignore me. And yes, being mad at my children or my friends DOES mean he is mad at me. Don't ask, Idk why.
My brother can get down right cruel when he is being a dick, so I jumped on the defensive as soon as my mom told me about what happened. No, I never said anything to defend my son. He was wrong and was dealt with accordingly. But I was ready to hear about how I'm a POS mom because my kid did something stupid, because usually, that's how my brother handles things. I'm very pleasantly surprised to hear how he handled things with DS and obviously, it's over and is water under the bridge. So I should be over it, right? Well, I'm still on the defensive. He came over to my mom's yesterday, and I jumped up to go inside. He tried to wave at me the other day, and I wouldn't look at him. It's terrible, I know. He didn't do anything this time and now I'm being a dick. I was so ready for a fight with him that I can't face him without yelling old shit that he's done, like he has done to me so many times, to my face, on Facebook, he doesn't care really. I have so much anger towards him from the past that even when he doesn't do anything, I'm ready for a fight. And I can't seem to get passed it this time. What the hell do I do?
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:33 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Trisi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Bump.....please
Trisi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Bump
Trisi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Bump
Trisi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Bump
danijean
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:49 AM
So your mad at him because he was upset at your DS for makin his DD fall? Sounds like everyone in the situation needs to grow up.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Logan_Bellasmom
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this

You need to learn to let g of your anger its only hurting you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:50 AM

so you're upset with him because he didn't act like a raving lunatic to serve your dramatic desires??  i really don't get this.

maxine360
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 11:52 AM

I understand where you are coming from, but if he is finally maturing and willing to let this go you are going to have to figure out how to let this go too. It takes alot to break old habits and nothing to snap us back into them.

Be the bigger person and let it go!

Trisi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 12:52 PM
No. I think it's clear that I agree he should have been mad at him for that. And I also stated that I'm proud of my brother for the way he handled it. My issue is that I was expecting the dramatic whirlwind that comes with my brother being upset, and braced myself for it. It didn't happen, and I'm happy about that. And I'm proud of my brother for being mature. I just can't seem to "unbrace" myself for that fight that didn't happen and I'm avoiding him until I can figure out how. Otherwise, I will end up really making it dramatic for no reason at all. That's not what I want.


Quoting danijean:

So your mad at him because he was upset at your DS for makin his DD fall? Sounds like everyone in the situation needs to grow up.

Trisi
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 12:55 PM
I'm trying to find a way. It surprised me when he acted like an adult. He's 32 and has never done that before. I don't want to fight with my brother. I do love him very much. I was just just braced for the usual worst and don't know what to do with the wall I instantly built when it didn't happen.
Does that make sense at all?


Quoting maxine360:

I understand where you are coming from, but if he is finally maturing and willing to let this go you are going to have to figure out how to let this go too. It takes alot to break old habits and nothing to snap us back into them.

Be the bigger person and let it go!


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN