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(Update # 2)My DH is moving us to New Zealand and my mom is threatning to sue for custody of DD and DS

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 145 Replies

My husband and I have decided to move our family to New Zealand. He grew up there and his family has a farm that we are moving to. He told me about how peaceful and safe it was there and judging from his awesome family I know it would be a very good move for our DD and DS who are 5 and 7. We told my mom and dad that we are moving but we promised they would see their grandkids at least once a year. My mom called me tonight and said she plans on filing a junction that I cannot take my kids of the country and she plans to file for partial custody. I asked her on what grounds and she said on the grounds she is their grandmother. Some lawyer has actually convinced her of this.Our lawyer says we have nothing to worry about.We are good parents. Why would she do this? She is making it to were there is going to be so much bitterness that it is not good for the chldren. I love my mom but I am starting to think a little bit of move and not talking to her for a few months may be in order. I see her point. I understand she is going to miss them but she seems to not understand that we are just trying to make a better life for our children. 

UPDATE: My father called me this morning and told me that my mom was too ashamed to call me but she jumped the gun on the lawyer. Apaprently, a friend told her that she has grandparents rights and she should contact a lawyer. He said she had not contacted a lawyer before she called me in actuallity. She called one this morning and they basically told her what my lawyer said. She really did  not have a leg to stand on. Unless she could prove we are bad parents, which she could not. My dad said he knew nothing about it until she told him this morning and told him that she was probably never going to see her grandkids again. He called to of course try to fix her messes like he always does. I love my mom but she really hurt me and DH a lot with this. My children know nothing about what their grandmother threatned.  I am taking them over to day to see her and my dad. I think she has learned her lesson. We are going to make sure they get to see them twice a year. One during christmas and another time. We have the means to make that happen. But teh unfortuante truth is this has changed me and her relationship somewhat. I may get over it and i may not. Just not sure why she did it. I guess she was hurt but all she had to do was talk to me. I kinda thought we had that type of relationship but instead she threatned to breakup my family.

Update 2; Very upset. took my kids to see her and she she would not even talk to me. I talked to my dad and she said she just needs time to cool off. I finally got her to say something to me but all she asked me is if she could buy the kids some outfits and a few other items before they leave. So once again she does something out of line and I am the bad guy. I brought the kids home and told the my husband and he said that she has always been selfish why do you not see it? He told me to ask my sister and I called my sister and told her what happened and asked her if she had noticed her mom being this selfish and out of line and she said "yes she has always been like that". I guess I never noticed this about my mother before but now I do. I have always tried to do what my mother has wanted and maybe that is why I have never noticed.  It just really upsets me because i love her but I will not let her be like that with me because me and my husband made a choice that was Right for our family. Wow I just feel so naive right now.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:28 PM
26 moms liked this
Your mother is crazy. Proceed with your plan to move to NZ and DON'T EVER leave your mother alone with the kids at anytime. She will probably kidnap them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:29 PM
That sucks. It's going to cause problems between you guys. But New Zealand?! Lucky! I would love to live there or in Australia. I just can't leave my family. I'm such a homebody.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:29 PM
I live thousands of miles from my mother too and she is also nuts. I haven't been there in almost six years and my husband is making me go this year. She thinks I should fly over there all the time but she refuses to come here. It's very annoying. I keep her at arms length but if she tried to pull a stunt like your mom I'd cut ties and never look back.
katzmeow726
by Silver Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:32 PM
3 moms liked this

Holy cow, she's lost it!  Word of advice, do NOT leave them with her alone at any time, she is very likely going to try to keep them from you if you do.

tlcory
by Platinum Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:32 PM
3 moms liked this

Awwww, I know this is hard for you and what your Mother is doing is wrong but she is desperate not to loose you all.  Can you sit down with her and talk this out?  I would absolutely be devastated if my DD, her DH and my granddaughters moved to another country, I wouldn't do what your Mother did but it would be so hard.

quinnsmom715
by Donna on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:32 PM

i just saw an old dr phil where the mother was really possessive and they were gonna move to ireland to get away..but the mom said shed follow..as to your case,i seriously doubt any judge will prevent you from moving due to a grandmother..

MammaPaparazza
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
That sux, but she can't keep you from moving you are an adult she will just have to pull up her grannie panties and take it like a champ
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quinnsmom715
by Donna on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:34 PM

also,yes,i get she will miss her grandkids but thats life.many people only see their grandkids once a year..you have to do whats right for your family.your mom will be ok..

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:34 PM

Our lawyer already said it was a non issue. He said everything but coming out and saying she is lying. I really wish she would have handled this a different way.


Quoting quinnsmom715:

i just saw an old dr phil where the mother was really possessive and they were gonna move to ireland to get away..but the mom said shed follow..as to your case,i seriously doubt any judge will prevent you from moving due to a grandmother..



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:35 PM
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