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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Overwhelmed and distraught

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 43 Replies
My mom took my child last weekend. She had every reason to but it's so hard. My house was a disaster. Think Hoarders. I have been depressed and just haven't been able to do anything but work and go home. My child was basically confined to his room and playroom because the rest of the house couldn't be walked threw without walking on the furniture or on trash. I was sleeping on the couch surrounded by trash. I couldn't use my kitchen so we had been eating fast food or things I could heat in the microwave. I had no clean plates and we only used plastic dishes and forks. It was horrible. I know it was horrible. I know that if dfs walked into my house my child would've been removed. My mom came over randomly and told me to pack some clothes because she wasn't leaving her grandchild with me. I've been working my ass off with cleaning and the upstairs is looking good. Really good actually. But my garage is still trashed and covered in trash bags because my trash service was cut off. My basement is disgusting because I never used it except for storage and then took trash bags down there which leaked and nice got into. It's horrible.
I haven't had my child here in almost a week. I work full time and have been working on the house every waking moment. I'm even more depressed. I'm overwhelmed. I can't finish this. I just can't. I don't know how to get all this trash out. I feel like shit. I feel like I should just let my mom keep my child and just disappear. I have been a horrible mom and I hate myself for it. I'm so embarrassed by this. Nobody else in my life knows what has been going on. I feel like I could just walk away from it all and disappear and nobody would miss me. I'm a failure of a mom, a failure of a daughter, and a failure as a person in general.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
petie1104
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:20 PM
4 moms liked this
Your not a failure, you failed for a time and now you're working on getting better.

Do you have a car? If so, make trips to your local dump. It will take a few trips, I'm sure but at least you will get it out of the house.

Do you have a therapist? Counselor? You need one. Depression bad enough to cause you to neglect your house and child, even if its situational only, needs to be treated. You need to learn the skills to cope with whatever life is throwing at you right now.

Give your mom a huge hug for protecting your child when you weren't able, and protecting you from yourself. It sounds like this is the kick in the pants you needed to pull yourself up enough to see that you needed to change.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:25 PM
I just don't feel like I've ever done anything right. There are at least 30-40 bags of trash. It's ridiculous. I don't have one and unfortunately can't afford one. I know she only did what was best but it makes me feel like I shouldn't be a mom at all. She is perfectly capable if taking care of my child and I'm not. Financially, emotionally, etc...she can do better than I can.

Quoting petie1104:

Your not a failure, you failed for a time and now you're working on getting better.



Do you have a car? If so, make trips to your local dump. It will take a few trips, I'm sure but at least you will get it out of the house.



Do you have a therapist? Counselor? You need one. Depression bad enough to cause you to neglect your house and child, even if its situational only, needs to be treated. You need to learn the skills to cope with whatever life is throwing at you right now.



Give your mom a huge hug for protecting your child when you weren't able, and protecting you from yourself. It sounds like this is the kick in the pants you needed to pull yourself up enough to see that you needed to change.
brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:28 PM
3 moms liked this

if you live near Milwaukee i will come help you clean. Everyone needs a little help now and then. 

Photo: -Randi.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:29 PM
1 mom liked this

First off, quit with the damn poor me shit.  There are people out there that can't walk and they don't whine poor me.


If you have any friends that will help you, call them.  Why was your trash service cut off?? Was it financial??  If so, figure out how to get the money to get it going again.  Living in filth is not only disgusting but unhealthy.  


Do you have any extra money?? Anything you can sell???  If so do it and hire someone off of CL to help you get the pigsty you live in clean.


Seriously, if you have depression issues, instead of giving up and failing your kid, get to a doctor and get on meds.  If you can't do that, give guardianship of your son to your mother.  She obviously cares more about his well being than you do.  Is his father involved in his life??  Reach out to him for help if he is.  Let him know about your "depression" problems and that it has now gotten so bad that your son's well being is in danger.  Let him know that your mom had to come and take him.  Ask him for help if you can, if not ask him to take custody.


Quit thinking of yourself first and get this shit done. Make your son your priority.  If you are willing to live in a pigsty, do it but don't make your poor child live like that.  He could get seriously ill.  


Sounds like your son is where he needs to be, away from you.  Even if you do get this mess cleaned up, it sounds like your child shouldn't be with you because you obviously have some deep rooted issues you need to get under control.  It goes deeper than just being depressed and a slob.


Find your big girl panties, put them on and deal with the messes that you have made of your damn life.  Quit seeking sympathy and for heaven's sake quit the self pity. Use that energy to get your damn life underr control.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I once had a friend that was exactly where you are right now.  She loved her child, but things just absolutely got out of hand in her home. If you honestly have nobody to help you (my friend didn't either) please just push on and do things 15 minutes at a time.  Once you get your house in order and your child back home, things will look up and you will enjoy seeing your child play in all the extra space:)  My friends child enjoyed dancing:)  Keep up the good work Mama, be thankful for your mother, and my thoughts are with you!  You CAN do this!!!!

Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:30 PM

awwww. so thoughtful!!

Quoting brettsmomma:

if you live near Milwaukee i will come help you clean. Everyone needs a little help now and then. 


bcauseimthemom
by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:31 PM

If you know that your mother is better equipped to take care of your child on all fronts, why not see if she will take guardianship of him while you work on getting yourself together??


Is your son's father in his life?? If he is, maybe it is time to open up the lines of communication with him in order to do what is best for your child.



Quoting Anonymous:

I just don't feel like I've ever done anything right. There are at least 30-40 bags of trash. It's ridiculous. I don't have one and unfortunately can't afford one. I know she only did what was best but it makes me feel like I shouldn't be a mom at all. She is perfectly capable if taking care of my child and I'm not. Financially, emotionally, etc...she can do better than I can.

Quoting petie1104:

Your not a failure, you failed for a time and now you're working on getting better.



Do you have a car? If so, make trips to your local dump. It will take a few trips, I'm sure but at least you will get it out of the house.



Do you have a therapist? Counselor? You need one. Depression bad enough to cause you to neglect your house and child, even if its situational only, needs to be treated. You need to learn the skills to cope with whatever life is throwing at you right now.



Give your mom a huge hug for protecting your child when you weren't able, and protecting you from yourself. It sounds like this is the kick in the pants you needed to pull yourself up enough to see that you needed to change.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:32 PM
Thank you so much but I don't.

Quoting brettsmomma:

if you live near Milwaukee i will come help you clean. Everyone needs a little help now and then. 

Snakecharm
by Platinum Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:32 PM
Try a service like 1800gotjunk... They may be able to help you clear things out. Chances are cheaper then a car!!

Be grateful to your mom for keeping the children out of the foster care system. Now that you know better, do better.
petie1104
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:34 PM
2 moms liked this
What about your mom? Does she have a car that she could help you with? I'm sure if you show her how far you've come she would help with the trash.


Quoting Anonymous:

I just don't feel like I've ever done anything right. There are at least 30-40 bags of trash. It's ridiculous. I don't have one and unfortunately can't afford one. I know she only did what was best but it makes me feel like I shouldn't be a mom at all. She is perfectly capable if taking care of my child and I'm not. Financially, emotionally, etc...she can do better than I can.



Quoting petie1104:

Your not a failure, you failed for a time and now you're working on getting better.





Do you have a car? If so, make trips to your local dump. It will take a few trips, I'm sure but at least you will get it out of the house.





Do you have a therapist? Counselor? You need one. Depression bad enough to cause you to neglect your house and child, even if its situational only, needs to be treated. You need to learn the skills to cope with whatever life is throwing at you right now.





Give your mom a huge hug for protecting your child when you weren't able, and protecting you from yourself. It sounds like this is the kick in the pants you needed to pull yourself up enough to see that you needed to change.

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