Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dating Two Men at Once Feels So Right -- But Is It Wrong?

Cafe Steph
Report
Yesterday at 9:01 PM
Lets Watch The Walking Dead Episode 2 Together! - CafeMom

The second episode of The Walking Dead airs Sunday, October 19th! Meet us here at 9pm EST as we watch and discuss the show

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:14 AM
  • 72 Replies

Dating Two Men at Once Feels So Right -- But Is It Wrong?

by The Stir Bloggers

heartI don't want to be in a committed relationship right now. After getting out of a horrible one earlier this year, the last thing I'm looking to do is to settle back down. Of course, in the beautiful way that life always magically works out, now is the time when I've met a handsome, driven man who could be really, really great for me. The catch? Well, I've met two of them. Yes -- I'm dating two men. Separately, of course.

Nice dinners, movies, brunches, sports bars, clubs ... we've done 'em all. I know. It sounds bad. But listen, I'm single. Just because we've been on three or four dates, does that mean that I'm supposed to close off my other options? I know if the tables were turned and I found out one of them was seeing someone else, it would bother me for sure. But as someone who was so completely selfless for so long, I contemplate if I've earned the chance at being selfish -- if just for now.

But I confess: The things I'm learning from this multi-man situation are amazing me.

These two men, they're different in so many ways. There are things about both of them that I admire, qualities that I could do without, but I find myself so thankful every time I'm with either of them -- knowing that they genuinely enjoy my company like I enjoy theirs. That is why I've had a hard time choosing just one. Not only because I haven't been forced to, but because I enjoy seeing them both, separately.

So what have I learned? Well, since I'm not focused on one person, I'm not constantly wondering about what they're doing or where they are. Whereas I would usually be annoyed if a day or two goes by and we don't speak -- in my current situation, it doesn't faze me as much. I find that because I'm not giving either man too much attention, the interactions that we do have are more pleasant. I find that since I'm not obsessing over the scenarios, my mentality is better. Since I have no expectations, I'm not getting let down. My confidence is better when I'm out. I feel happier.

I'll be honest: It won't last for much longer. I firmly believe there's only so long you can go dating a person before you do have that "what are we doing here" kind of talk. As a girl who doesn't want a steady commitment right now, who knows, maybe I'll lose them both. But for now, for the time being, I can safely say that whether or not it's the right move -- dating two men simultaneously has been good for me.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Do you think it's wrong?

by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:14 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
carterscutie85
by Queen Bee on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:15 AM
6 moms liked this

I've dated more than one guy at a time.

IMO, as long as the people you are dating know about the other ones, and you are not sleeping together, it's fine.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:18 AM
This


Quoting carterscutie85:

I've dated more than one guy at a time.

IMO, as long as the people you are dating know about the other ones, and you are not sleeping together, it's fine.


carterscutie85
by Queen Bee on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:19 AM
8 moms liked this

I would even go so far as to say they don't even need to know about each other, so long as you make it clear the relationship is NOT exclusive.

Quoting Anonymous:

This


Quoting carterscutie85:



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:22 AM
I agree.


Quoting carterscutie85:

I would even go so far as to say they don't even need to know about each other, so long as you make it clear the relationship is NOT exclusive.

Quoting Anonymous:

This





Quoting carterscutie85:

thatgirlNH
by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:23 AM

Dating other people is completely fine as long as you had the balls and heart to actually TELL them that.

highlandmum
by Spunky on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:28 AM

When me and DH started dating he told me right up front that he did not want a exclusive relationship with me.  My response was as long as you do not expect me to be exclusive.  We never told each other when we went out or if we went out with someone else.  As long as both parties agree there is nothing wrong with it.

hhhanna
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:30 AM

I'm not seeing the issue here.  To me that was what dating was/is all about.  Unless and until you and one of the guys is ready to declare your relationship to be exclusive ... then I don't have a problem with it.  By the same token, if you/should you find that one or both of the men is seeing other women - SOOO?  Again, you're not exclusive with them, they aren't/don't need to be exclusive with you.  Hell I think at one point I was dating 5 guys at the same time, but one or two got kicked to the curb VERY FAST.  There are LOTS of fish in the sea, your job - find the one out of the whole sea that works for you.  Doing quick find and settles seldom works in my experience.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:40 AM
2 moms liked this
I think it's fine when you are single, however, I hold mothers to a higher dating standard since she is a role model to her kids
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:51 AM
No its not wrong. They are probably doing the same.keep your options open and enjoy it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 29, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Yes this!

Quoting Anonymous:

I think it's fine when you are single, however, I hold mothers to a higher dating standard since she is a role model to her kids
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)