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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

We struggled and fought damn hard to get where we are

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So no, I'm not going feel bad for talking about remodeling our bathroom thank you very much! 

I was talking to a co-worker about how difficult it has been sharing a bathroom with 4 other people (3 of them teens) for the past few weeks and another co-worker spouts off "oh how sad, the problems of rich people!". Really?  DH and I have been married almost 20 years and we have had our share of struggles, we've been on PA, used food stamps for a bit, we know what it's like to be poor.  BUT....we've also fought damn hard to make a better life for ourselves and while we're not rich by any means, yes, we do have the money to remodel out bathroom.  Why do others have to take the joy away from someone else?

Vent over.

by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 8:53 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:28 PM

I agree with you and the OP wasn't just sharing her excitement she was also complaining about her current situation which is rather petty. 

I think people confuse tact in conversation with censor. There are a number of acceptable and non-offensive topics a person can discuss, they don't have to sit there and share their inconvenience of having to share a toilet especially when there are people around who have REAL issues like making bills. 

I would think someone who claims to have been there before would understand what it is like. I guess she forgot that much... 

Quoting spooky415:

I'd rather keep it to myself than upset someone who's going through a difficult time. To me, feelings are more important than talking about my bathroom.

Quoting sendsun:

I understand she probably is in a tight spot, but that doesn't give her the right to be a bitch about it.  We've been where she is, I understand not having money to pay for bills, but since she put that out there I feel like I can't share my excitement over a new bathroom, that I might offend someone else.  I don't like feeling like that.

Quoting spooky415:

Maybe they were having a difficult time making their bills and you just hit them on a bad day.



Yes, you've worked hard and certainly deserve to use your money as you wish but maybe they're in a tough spot and it hurts them to hear about something like that.



sendsun
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:33 PM

You sound like a peach to work with.  We talk about a variety of things at work, there's a huge diversity of people, most things are open for discussion.  I didn't realize that my senseless first world difficulties would cause such a reaction. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well complaining about the inconveniences of sharing a bathroom with three teenagers is a first world problem.

I probably wouldn't have said anything, but I would have rolled my eyes to myself at the senselessness of your "difficulty" and I'm not poor by any means. I'm not sure what context that person was speaking in, but really, I would think your statements were petty and thoughtless. Especially if made around someone who has to share one bathroom with their family, because a home with one bathroom was all they could afford. 

I think in terms of conversation there are far better things to discuss in a professional atmosphere than the state of your toilet room. It's a bit too personal and rather petty to complain about it if you ask me. 


Nicolekathryn12
by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:36 PM

Don't let jealous people get to you.  Just know and be proud of how hard you guys have worked to get where you are today.  People like that are not happy with their own lives. Let it roll off your back.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:36 PM

I am a peach because I practice tact in mixed company, you should try it some time. In all of this discussion when are you working, just curious? Your first world "difficulties" aren't "difficulties" their silly inconveniences, there are greater issues around you that you should be aware of. You claim to have been there, yet you forget what it's like I presume to have someone senselessly banter on about their small "problems". 

Quoting sendsun:

You sound like a peach to work with.  We talk about a variety of things at work, there's a huge diversity of people, most things are open for discussion.  I didn't realize that my senseless first world difficulties would cause such a reaction. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well complaining about the inconveniences of sharing a bathroom with three teenagers is a first world problem.

I probably wouldn't have said anything, but I would have rolled my eyes to myself at the senselessness of your "difficulty" and I'm not poor by any means. I'm not sure what context that person was speaking in, but really, I would think your statements were petty and thoughtless. Especially if made around someone who has to share one bathroom with their family, because a home with one bathroom was all they could afford. 

I think in terms of conversation there are far better things to discuss in a professional atmosphere than the state of your toilet room. It's a bit too personal and rather petty to complain about it if you ask me. 



sendsun
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:39 PM

Really?  I never realized that complaining about sharing a bathroom with 3 teens was unacceptable and offensive. I was talking to a co-worker, half complaining, half joking about it?  You know, being human and conversing with others. I'm truly sorry if someone was upset by it, but there's no reason to get so bitchy and no reason what-so-ever to call it petty or unacceptable.  I DO understand, I WAS there, but I never in my life acted like she did.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with you and the OP wasn't just sharing her excitement she was also complaining about her current situation which is rather petty. 

I think people confuse tact in conversation with censor. There are a number of acceptable and non-offensive topics a person can discuss, they don't have to sit there and share their inconvenience of having to share a toilet especially when there are people around who have REAL issues like making bills. 

I would think someone who claims to have been there before would understand what it is like. I guess she forgot that much... 

Quoting spooky415:

I'd rather keep it to myself than upset someone who's going through a difficult time. To me, feelings are more important than talking about my bathroom.

Quoting sendsun:

I understand she probably is in a tight spot, but that doesn't give her the right to be a bitch about it.  We've been where she is, I understand not having money to pay for bills, but since she put that out there I feel like I can't share my excitement over a new bathroom, that I might offend someone else.  I don't like feeling like that.

Quoting spooky415:

Maybe they were having a difficult time making their bills and you just hit them on a bad day.



Yes, you've worked hard and certainly deserve to use your money as you wish but maybe they're in a tough spot and it hurts them to hear about something like that.




ilovemykids323
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:40 PM

 i hate the thinking that people aren't allowed to complain because someone has it worse... people are allowed to complain and should be able to complain no matter what. As long as it's not something that person always does. We all have bed days or moments. Even if we aren't worse off than someone else.

AjCeCeMom
by Ruby Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:42 PM
I want to see your new bathroom...! She sounds like a jealous cow.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:45 PM

Are you offended by the fact that I said your little problem was petty in the grand scheme of things? 

I'm sorry, the truth hurts. No, I think it's unacceptable and offensive to not realize the pettiness of YOUR problems could be irritating to individuals with REAL problems. 

You have a working, functioning bathroom but are inconvenienced by having to share it. A real problem would be not having a bathroom at all that functioned or worked. Sharing a bathroom with four other people =inconvenience. Not having a bathroom that works at all = problem. 

You asked why do others take the joy away from others, I am just answering that question. The woman wasn't taking your joy away, you can be joyful regardless, she was merely pointing out your first world "problems".

Quoting sendsun:

Really?  I never realized that complaining about sharing a bathroom with 3 teens was unacceptable and offensive. I was talking to a co-worker, half complaining, half joking about it?  You know, being human and conversing with others. I'm truly sorry if someone was upset by it, but there's no reason to get so bitchy and no reason what-so-ever to call it petty or unacceptable.  I DO understand, I WAS there, but I never in my life acted like she did.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with you and the OP wasn't just sharing her excitement she was also complaining about her current situation which is rather petty. 

I think people confuse tact in conversation with censor. There are a number of acceptable and non-offensive topics a person can discuss, they don't have to sit there and share their inconvenience of having to share a toilet especially when there are people around who have REAL issues like making bills. 

I would think someone who claims to have been there before would understand what it is like. I guess she forgot that much... 

Quoting spooky415:

I'd rather keep it to myself than upset someone who's going through a difficult time. To me, feelings are more important than talking about my bathroom.

Quoting sendsun:

I understand she probably is in a tight spot, but that doesn't give her the right to be a bitch about it.  We've been where she is, I understand not having money to pay for bills, but since she put that out there I feel like I can't share my excitement over a new bathroom, that I might offend someone else.  I don't like feeling like that.

Quoting spooky415:

Maybe they were having a difficult time making their bills and you just hit them on a bad day.



Yes, you've worked hard and certainly deserve to use your money as you wish but maybe they're in a tough spot and it hurts them to hear about something like that.





sendsun
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:47 PM

Because we can't talk and work at the same time.....lol!

And yes, I have tact, I didn't realize someone would be offended because I'm remodeling my bathroom and complaining about having to share a bathroom....I'm so very sorry I didn't take everyone's circumstances in mind.  I get greater issues, but greater issues aren't usually talked about at work, we talk about our lives.  Guess since I'm "better off" my life shouldn't be talked about.

SMFH

Quoting Anonymous:

I am a peach because I practice tact in mixed company, you should try it some time. In all of this discussion when are you working, just curious? Your first world "difficulties" aren't "difficulties" their silly inconveniences, there are greater issues around you that you should be aware of. You claim to have been there, yet you forget what it's like I presume to have someone senselessly banter on about their small "problems". 

Quoting sendsun:

You sound like a peach to work with.  We talk about a variety of things at work, there's a huge diversity of people, most things are open for discussion.  I didn't realize that my senseless first world difficulties would cause such a reaction. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well complaining about the inconveniences of sharing a bathroom with three teenagers is a first world problem.

I probably wouldn't have said anything, but I would have rolled my eyes to myself at the senselessness of your "difficulty" and I'm not poor by any means. I'm not sure what context that person was speaking in, but really, I would think your statements were petty and thoughtless. Especially if made around someone who has to share one bathroom with their family, because a home with one bathroom was all they could afford. 

I think in terms of conversation there are far better things to discuss in a professional atmosphere than the state of your toilet room. It's a bit too personal and rather petty to complain about it if you ask me. 




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:53 PM

Unless she sits there talking about how bad she is doing, no you shouldn't, in my opinion. I think in general people are too open about their personal lives and matters of money. You did both in the same sentence. 

If you see nothing wrong with what you did than don't change how you do things. I wouldn't have been offended but I would have rolled my eyes about your complaint. I'd think it was silly and not at all mentionable in conversation. 

Shake your head all you like, this post and your complaints are so petty it's laughable that you're so offended, that she'd say something to you. lol. Get over it and move on! 

Congrats on your bathroom! May your life be complaint free from here on out. lol.

Quoting sendsun:

Because we can't talk and work at the same time.....lol!

And yes, I have tact, I didn't realize someone would be offended because I'm remodeling my bathroom and complaining about having to share a bathroom....I'm so very sorry I didn't take everyone's circumstances in mind.  I get greater issues, but greater issues aren't usually talked about at work, we talk about our lives.  Guess since I'm "better off" my life shouldn't be talked about.

SMFH

Quoting Anonymous:

I am a peach because I practice tact in mixed company, you should try it some time. In all of this discussion when are you working, just curious? Your first world "difficulties" aren't "difficulties" their silly inconveniences, there are greater issues around you that you should be aware of. You claim to have been there, yet you forget what it's like I presume to have someone senselessly banter on about their small "problems". 

Quoting sendsun:

You sound like a peach to work with.  We talk about a variety of things at work, there's a huge diversity of people, most things are open for discussion.  I didn't realize that my senseless first world difficulties would cause such a reaction. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well complaining about the inconveniences of sharing a bathroom with three teenagers is a first world problem.

I probably wouldn't have said anything, but I would have rolled my eyes to myself at the senselessness of your "difficulty" and I'm not poor by any means. I'm not sure what context that person was speaking in, but really, I would think your statements were petty and thoughtless. Especially if made around someone who has to share one bathroom with their family, because a home with one bathroom was all they could afford. 

I think in terms of conversation there are far better things to discuss in a professional atmosphere than the state of your toilet room. It's a bit too personal and rather petty to complain about it if you ask me. 





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