Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

at what age would you...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

I live in NZ, in the south island (christchurch to be exact)

I have 4 children and this is what they are allowed to do and what ages.

Rhiannon is 18 and she pretty much does what ever she wants. She does have to be polite and let us know where she is and what time she will be home, thats common courtesy. She is soon to move into a flat with her boyfriend and some other kids from her Japanese class. She doesnt have a bed time as she is now an adult and she is pretty good at going to bed when she needs to

Shaun is 16. I havn't met his best friends mother although I know a lot about her and we always wave at each other when they are being picked up and dropped off..We have talked on the phone. Now that I can't drive he catches a bus to the other side of town to stay the night. He has to take his phone with him, as does Alex. Bed time10.30 school time and 11pm weekends.

Alex is 14. He buses all over the city to skate parks as skating is his passion. He has a back pack with his water bottle and sunscreen and some snacks. I give him a few dollars for mc donalds for a cheese burger and chips. Shaun and Alex both are allowed to go to the supermarket until 9pm in the summer, which is when it gets dark. In winter it gets dark early and they have to go out before 7pm. Bed time 10pm weekends.

Marelle is 11. She can bus for short trips if she is met at the bus stop. If its a new route Rhiannon takes her to practise so she knows where to get off. She scooters home on her own and walks to the mall on her own. She is fine in the mall by herself. She is fine on her own left at home for a short period. Her bedtime is usally around 8.30, 9pm in the weekend

Before you go thinking that I am some horribly neglectful mother,(lol)  I will state again that we live in New Zealand and crime is pretty low here. Whats it like in your city and what ages do you let your kids spread their wings a bit.

 ((just adding that although my kids can have a little freedom, they need to tell me is they change venue in case I need them urgently. Its not that I think they are unsafe, if they were I would never let them go in the first place.  If they ever break this rule they are going to be very, very bored sitting at home.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:02 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:05 AM
My kids are too young to go out on their own here. We live in a fairly big college town.
MrsMiles85
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:06 AM

I don't live in a low crime town.  Even if I did, they wouldn't be able to spread their wings for a long time.  I would not live with myself if I let them do something and then they were kidnapped or something.  Mine are still young, 7 being the oldest so I have some time to figure this out thankfully.

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:09 AM
1 mom liked this

 Mine can spread their wings as soon as I am legally no longer allowed to clip them....

kimmaylove013
by Bronze Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:12 AM
I wish we lived somewhere my kids could me that free! I've always wanted to at least visit NZ , when I was younger I always had dreams of living there or in Australia, England.

I'm from America I think most cafemoms are, this country can do great thing however I feel it's gotten out of control in some aspects I hate feeling like I need to keep my kids home and close. But they are still 1,3,6.

I don't think I went to the mall alone until I could drive, so 16. And went with friends about 13 on a regular basis.

Not judging of course jealously admiring lol :)
msb64
by Platinum Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:12 AM

We lived in a fairly safe, European city when our daughter was 10-13.  She had a lot of freedom - took public transportation to and from school and to meet up with friends.  Our rule was she had to always let us know where she was via cell phone call and she had to be home before dark.  We are now living in an African country and the rules have dramatically changed.  She is 16 and is not allowed to ride with anyone other than us or adults that we know.  She must be in place (home or at friend's) before dark.  She understands that the restrictions are for her safety and she respects them.

HelenaHanbasket
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:15 AM
I think the 11 year old should be supervised at the mall and teenagers should have curfews (until they're 18) but not bed times. Everything else seems fine to me, especially if they carry phones.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:19 AM

hahahah Love it!


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Mine can spread their wings as soon as I am legally no longer allowed to clip them....


 

SWasson
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:28 AM

Everything you're saying sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:29 AM

 Do your kids go to bed at simular times at night?  Do you get to the point where you know they are ready for bed? What about weekends?


Quoting HelenaHanbasket:

I think the 11 year old should be supervised at the mall and teenagers should have curfews (until they're 18) but not bed times. Everything else seems fine to me, especially if they carry phones.


 

AVSpecWife4
by Ruby Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:31 AM
Neat! I'd love to be as free with my kids.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN