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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why Can't Some Parents Just Be Supportive? EDIT

Posted by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:05 PM
  • 199 Replies
3 moms liked this
I have a friend who has fallen on hard times. She had to move back in with her parents. She has a child, and since having her son, she's gone through a lot. However, she has always come out on top. Sadly, her parents haven't really been there for her.

Nothing she does is ever good enough for them. She's not in school, but she has a full time job that has benefits. She doesn't have a car, or her license, but she's saving for both. She's also saving for her own place. When she came to her parents, and told them that she wanted to go to school for fashion design, and had been looking into some programs, her parents pretty much laughed in her face. She's an artsy free spirit type, and her parents want her to be a lawyer or doctor.

Don't get wrong, she's intelligent, and would make a damn good lawyer. But, that's not what she wants to do with her life. She dreams of being a fashion designer, and owning her own speciality boutique one day. But, that's not good enough for them.

Her parents are also very religious. While she describes herself as a Theist, she's not religious. She's the girl that marks the "Spiritual but not religious" box on a dating profile. Lol But, that's not good enough for her folks. She needs to be "saved," and a raging homophobic bigot like them.

I don't get it. I know that as parents, we want our kids to do their best. But, what ever happened to being supportive? Her parents knock down her dreams, and we self esteem has taken a huge hit. I feel so badly for her. I don't know what to do other than be supportive. But, I know that my support isn't the same as having her parents' support.

In response to her not living the way they think she should live (religious beliefs included), her parents have put a parental lock on the TV, and a parental block ok the computer. When she told me that, I was shocked. How childish of them. So, her response is that when she finally moved away, she may never talk to them again.

I'd let them (my friend and her son) come stay with me if I had the room.

I just don't know what to say to her. Her parents are so mean to her. I don't get it.

Vent over.

EDIT: Some of you can't read. She doesn't live off of her parents. She has a job and she pays them rent. Her parents don't support her emotionally. That's what she wants...emotional support.

Also, my friend is NOT a loser. She takes care of her son on her own, and has done so without any financial help from anyone.

I don't see the problem with wanting your parents emotional support.
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RandRMomma
by Maya on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Bump
Ms_mom_81
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:07 PM
3 moms liked this

Some parents are supportive and some are not. That is the way it is and will always be. We all don't get what we want in a parent or child. She just needs to follow her own path and stop waiting for them to approve.

RandRMomma
by Maya on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:09 PM
Sorry about my typos.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Where is the father of the child in all of this!? In addition, how old is your friend?

RandRMomma
by Maya on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:09 PM
This is true.

But, I don't understand how you can say that you love someone, and treat them like they're dirt beneath your shoes b


Quoting Ms_mom_81:

Some parents are supportive and some are not. That is the way it is and will always be. We all don't get what we want in a parent or child. She just needs to follow her own path and stop waiting for them to approve.

RandRMomma
by Maya on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:10 PM
She's young. She's 20.

The father isn't in the picture. In a nutshell, he's a dirtbag. His true colors came out when se got pregnant.


Quoting Anonymous:

Where is the father of the child in all of this!? In addition, how old is your friend?

Ms_mom_81
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:12 PM


because some people just don't care about others. Some people have no empathy. Many parents want a child that "makes" them proud by doing great things. It just isn't enough that they are happy. Just like some children suck their parents dry without a thank you.

Quoting RandRMomma:

This is true.

But, I don't understand how you can say that you love someone, and treat them like they're dirt beneath your shoes b


Quoting Ms_mom_81:

Some parents are supportive and some are not. That is the way it is and will always be. We all don't get what we want in a parent or child. She just needs to follow her own path and stop waiting for them to approve.



randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:13 PM
3 moms liked this

Sadly, some parents expect their kids to grow up to be their clones.  No individuality allowed.  You must think, believe and live your life as they see fit.

They're the parents who end up rotting in nursing homes because they're kids hate them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this


I don't blame the parents for having some trust issues then. Clearly, your friend is unmarked, very young, no career, poor decision maker,  and a single mother. Yikes!

Quoting RandRMomma:

She's young. She's 20.

The father isn't in the picture. In a nutshell, he's a dirtbag. His true colors came out when se got pregnant.


Quoting Anonymous:

Where is the father of the child in all of this!? In addition, how old is your friend?



codfish
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:15 PM
2 moms liked this
You are only getting her side. They may be complete jerks. However, they just be tired of what they see as an irresponsible child. She lives in their home and is dependant, along with her child, on tbem for everything, including transportation. She is just going to have to suck it up until she can move on. As a older mom, I am curious as to what the parents would say is going on.
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