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My 17 year old daughter is pregnant..and I am 37!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is pregnant and due in August. She and her boyfriend (the father) told my husband and me when she was 9 weeks pregnant. I was shocked, horrified, disappointed, humilated etc. I still feel those things, and is it awful of me to be embarrased when seen out in public with my very pregnant daughter? I hate the feeling of being judged by others. I feel angry when my daughter talks about how unfair it is that we still wont let her go on vacation with her boyfriend. She had a curfew, they were never allowed alone together in our house, if they did go to her room they had to keep the door open and were not allowed to be on the bed. Then I find out that many of her friends are allowed to spend the night at their boyfriends house, go on vacations etc. But of course my daughter is the one who gets pregnant!! Does anybody else feel this way?

Let me add that I took my daughter for birth control pills and apparently they also used condoms...Did I approve of the idea of her having sex? NO! Yes I was also a young mother, and I know EXACTLY how hard it is to raise a child, and go to school, find a decent job, etc. My daughter has been with her boyfriend for over 3 years, and has a 3.5 GPA, runs track (or did), and works part-time. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:16 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm 24


Quoting Anonymous:

The teenage years are a very fertile age. Ripe young bodies, I suppose. How old are u?



Quoting Anonymous:

It frustrates me that we've been ttc for a long while now with no luck and teens get pg like nothing.

xoxRachelxox
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:27 PM

Stop giving a shit what your neighbors think. Seriously. Who cares?

Dewinter
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM
3 moms liked this

 It is NOT op fault. Her dd decided to have sex behind her parents back and she got pregnant. Her dd is AT fault and IS going to have to accept that responsiblity. Just because "everyone" is being so pc and relaxed about teen sex does NOT mean that all parents are going to get on board and allow their children to do anything they want to. I will not be putting my dd on bc, I WILL NOT buy my ds condoms. If he feels adult enough to have sex, then they are adult enough to buy condoms.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.

 

lilmama3189
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM
I got pregnant @ 16 & had my oldest son when I was 17. My parents weren't embarassed. They were upset because I started a family so young. My mom lives for my kids, & if it wasn't for my kids my father would have killed himself a few years ago. If my kids either got pregnant or got someone pregnant when they were 15-18, I wouldn't be embarressed. A child is a blessing no matter what age the parents are.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting firespurity:

I have to agree with this. By seventeen sex shouldn't have been an ultimate taboo. She knew she want 5 anymore so she didn't follow the rules that treated her like a five year old.

And she's seventeen and pregnant. It's time for her to get a job, even if she's still in school. I also think it's important to allow the two top keep their relationship strong. Kids from two parent household fair way better in statistics.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.

 I disagree.  Even if she did feel the need to sneak around, she sure as heck could have gotten condoms or abstained.  She knew what the consequences could be.  My parents were very strict and I still managed to find a way to have sex and got pregnant at 16.  It was MY fault, not theirs.  I worked my butt off though to buy what my baby needed, and if I were you, I'd make sure her and her bf are doing just that. 

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM

Parents that talk to their kids openly about sex and don't make it the ultimate sin are the ones that have teens that don't get pregnant. I'm not saying let them have sex in your house but make sure they know that they can come to you for birth control when they feel they are going to have sex.

Quoting Amybelle:

I'm sorry but THIS is just DUMB

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.



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coronado25
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM
4 moms liked this

I had exactly the same rules for my daughter.

Fortunately, I suggested birth control pills as a way to let her not have as many periods (she is a surfer and you can just keep taking the pill without the break for menses for up to 3 months), to clear up any skin problems (not that she had much in the way of skin problems) and as an added precaution to condom use for if/when she ever became sexually active.  I chatted about it many times from the time I could see her interest developing in boys, (around age 13) and when she was 16 she requested to go on the pill, for the purpose she claimed of having fewer periods.   

I of course continued to talk about how important condom use is for if/when...until she would repeat it back to me in a mocking mantra saying "I know, I know!!"  

However, I realize, some people get pregnant regardless of BC and maybe my daughter was just lucky. She did have a serious boyfriend and though nothing could've been done on my watch or in my home, I know that kids find a way...

I feel your pain, because yes, other moms can be vicious. And you feel likeyour daughter is a living betrayal of the values you tried to instill in her. But at the end of the day...she is just a woman full of eggs and one happened to get fertilized. It happens all the time to 17 year olds and 37 year olds and every age in between. Just remember that your daughter really needs you now, and your support and the whole world will be vicious towards her.  Stand by her and remember that back in the day, and in many countries still now, pregnancy in the teen years is not shameful or uncommon.  Help your daughter maintain confidence and dignity now when she needs it most.   Shame will not help her be a great mom, and someday she will be more mature and really love that you were there for her through thick and thin and always proud to call her your daughter, even when your totally unexpected grandchild was on the way.

JLS2388
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:29 PM

She is only 3 years younger then you were when you had her. Stop worrying about what everyone is thinking about you because chances are, they aren't.

flcowgrl23
by Platinum Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:29 PM
Yep.

Quoting melschlegs:

Maybe it's time for you to worry a little more about what's going on inside your house rather than what's going on outside of your house.  Who the hell cares what anyone else thinks?  

momto3B
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:29 PM

And she and her boyfriend are intending to keep this baby and raise it where and with what?


Quoting Anonymous:

My daughter is pregnant and due in August. She and her boyfriend (the father) told my husband and me when she was 9 weeks pregnant. I was shocked, horrified, disappointed, humilated etc. I still feel those things, and is it awful of me to be embarrased when seen out in public with my very pregnant daughter? I hate the feeling of being judged by others. I feel angry when my daughter talks about how unfair it is that we still wont let her go on vacation with her boyfriend. She had a curfew, they were never allowed alone together in our house, if they did go to her room they had to keep the door open and were not allowed to be on the bed. Then I find out that many of her friends are allowed to spend the night at their boyfriends house, go on vacations etc. But of course my daughter is the one who gets pregnant!! Does anybody else feel this way? I am embarrassed of what the neighbors must think of us, even though I know I shouldnt care what other people think.



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