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My 17 year old daughter is pregnant..and I am 37!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is pregnant and due in August. She and her boyfriend (the father) told my husband and me when she was 9 weeks pregnant. I was shocked, horrified, disappointed, humilated etc. I still feel those things, and is it awful of me to be embarrased when seen out in public with my very pregnant daughter? I hate the feeling of being judged by others. I feel angry when my daughter talks about how unfair it is that we still wont let her go on vacation with her boyfriend. She had a curfew, they were never allowed alone together in our house, if they did go to her room they had to keep the door open and were not allowed to be on the bed. Then I find out that many of her friends are allowed to spend the night at their boyfriends house, go on vacations etc. But of course my daughter is the one who gets pregnant!! Does anybody else feel this way?

Let me add that I took my daughter for birth control pills and apparently they also used condoms...Did I approve of the idea of her having sex? NO! Yes I was also a young mother, and I know EXACTLY how hard it is to raise a child, and go to school, find a decent job, etc. My daughter has been with her boyfriend for over 3 years, and has a 3.5 GPA, runs track (or did), and works part-time. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:16 PM
Replies (31-40):
alexsmomaubrys2
by Emerald Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:30 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting firespurity:

I have to agree with this. By seventeen sex shouldn't have been an ultimate taboo. She knew she want 5 anymore so she didn't follow the rules that treated her like a five year old.

And she's seventeen and pregnant. It's time for her to get a job, even if she's still in school. I also think it's important to allow the two top keep their relationship strong. Kids from two parent household fair way better in statistics.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.

 I disagree.  Even if she did feel the need to sneak around, she sure as heck could have gotten condoms or abstained.  She knew what the consequences could be.  My parents were very strict and I still managed to find a way to have sex and got pregnant at 16.  It was MY fault, not theirs.  I worked my butt off though to buy what my baby needed, and if I were you, I'd make sure her and her bf are doing just that. 

Exactly. Your parents were very strict and you got pregnant at 16.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 So what, so was I. That doesn't mean I don't want better for my kids. I would like for them to find out who they are before having kids. That does not make me or op a bad parent.

Quoting csxt99:

You were a young mom and she will be, too.  Get over it.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:31 PM

 I was 39 when my first and only grandchild (so far) was born. He will be 7 next Sunday and his dad is 25.  My parents were 38 and 39 when they became first time grandparents to my now almost 27yo son and my grandparents were between 38-40 when I was born (their first grandchild). I don't really see what the big deal is. She's 17, she's pregnant, it happens. If you have other children, though, you might want to give them a little more freedom and trust so that they don't sneak around and follow in her footsteps.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:31 PM
No its her daughters fault. If she thought she was grown up enough to have sex she's grown up enough to get her own birth control


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.


alexsmomaubrys2
by Emerald Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Then prepare yourself to be a grandmother at an early age.

We plan on having a fish bowl full of condoms and to put DD on birth control when she is ready for it. Sex will not be taboo in our house.

Quoting Dewinter:

 It is NOT op fault. Her dd decided to have sex behind her parents back and she got pregnant. Her dd is AT fault and IS going to have to accept that responsiblity. Just because "everyone" is being so pc and relaxed about teen sex does NOT mean that all parents are going to get on board and allow their children to do anything they want to. I will not be putting my dd on bc, I WILL NOT buy my ds condoms. If he feels adult enough to have sex, then they are adult enough to buy condoms.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.

 


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:32 PM
Women are more ferile at this point in time then later in life... If we didn't have to live life by the clock and by "the man" we'd be fine. People could have children young and grow old with them and actually have energy to play with them. If we didn't have to follow this stupid schedule of "college ,debt, 9-5 , date ,marriage,picketed fence,death" we could have so much more time to just do what the fuck we wanted without judgement and rules. This is how I live. Life shouldn't be mapped out for me since birth.


Quoting Anonymous:

It frustrates me that we've been ttc for a long while now with no luck and teens get pg like nothing.

dixiemama25
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:33 PM

When does she turn 18?? your dd is going to be a mom and she can leave at this age if she wants and there is very little you can do about it

alexsmomaubrys2
by Emerald Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:33 PM

Those that are forced to sneak end up pregnant.

Quoting Anonymous:

No its her daughters fault. If she thought she was grown up enough to have sex she's grown up enough to get her own birth control


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.



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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:34 PM

Yes, but I was well aware of what I was doing.  I wasn't careful enough with BC, even though I knew better and knew I could get pregnant.  Why is it that so many people rush to blame everyone else for their own actions?  A 17 yr old needs to take responsibility for their own screw up.   

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:


Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting firespurity:

I have to agree with this. By seventeen sex shouldn't have been an ultimate taboo. She knew she want 5 anymore so she didn't follow the rules that treated her like a five year old.

And she's seventeen and pregnant. It's time for her to get a job, even if she's still in school. I also think it's important to allow the two top keep their relationship strong. Kids from two parent household fair way better in statistics.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.

 I disagree.  Even if she did feel the need to sneak around, she sure as heck could have gotten condoms or abstained.  She knew what the consequences could be.  My parents were very strict and I still managed to find a way to have sex and got pregnant at 16.  It was MY fault, not theirs.  I worked my butt off though to buy what my baby needed, and if I were you, I'd make sure her and her bf are doing just that. 

Exactly. Your parents were very strict and you got pregnant at 16.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:35 PM
You were only 20 when you had your daughter. She is 3 years younger than you were.
You shouldn't care about what others think, just be there for your child.
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