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My 17 year old daughter is pregnant..and I am 37!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is pregnant and due in August. She and her boyfriend (the father) told my husband and me when she was 9 weeks pregnant. I was shocked, horrified, disappointed, humilated etc. I still feel those things, and is it awful of me to be embarrased when seen out in public with my very pregnant daughter? I hate the feeling of being judged by others. I feel angry when my daughter talks about how unfair it is that we still wont let her go on vacation with her boyfriend. She had a curfew, they were never allowed alone together in our house, if they did go to her room they had to keep the door open and were not allowed to be on the bed. Then I find out that many of her friends are allowed to spend the night at their boyfriends house, go on vacations etc. But of course my daughter is the one who gets pregnant!! Does anybody else feel this way?

Let me add that I took my daughter for birth control pills and apparently they also used condoms...Did I approve of the idea of her having sex? NO! Yes I was also a young mother, and I know EXACTLY how hard it is to raise a child, and go to school, find a decent job, etc. My daughter has been with her boyfriend for over 3 years, and has a 3.5 GPA, runs track (or did), and works part-time. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:16 PM
Replies (41-50):
Amybelle
by AmyAzing on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:35 PM

eeh, according to about 99.9% of the women on this site, they got pregnant even though the were on BC.  Cafemom is the Birth-Control Failure Capitol of the Universe. lol

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

Parents that talk to their kids openly about sex and don't make it the ultimate sin are the ones that have teens that don't get pregnant. I'm not saying let them have sex in your house but make sure they know that they can come to you for birth control when they feel they are going to have sex.

Quoting Amybelle:

I'm sorry but THIS is just DUMB

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:37 PM
2 moms liked this
No the ones that don't use protection get pregnant. That's why teenagers shouldn't have sex they aren't mature enough to take precautions


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

Those that are forced to sneak end up pregnant.

Quoting Anonymous:

No its her daughters fault. If she thought she was grown up enough to have sex she's grown up enough to get her own birth control





Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.





childofGod995
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:37 PM

instead of being mad that your daughter is pregnant, why don't you look at it this way. you are going to be a grandmother and you will love that child no matter what.

firespurity
by Ruby Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Sorry but the kids treated before their age, are the ones that fail in life. Plus there is a difference between strict and acting like you child hasn't grown at all. And your story only prove the point. Sex should not be happening for anyone under sixteen. But I believe kids should be just steps from adultgood and responsibility and expectation at 16-17. That includes preparing them for how to decide when and how to sex appropriately.

If instead of no don't do it, you say okay here's when it is okay. You're more likely to have a child that waits for those situations. They aren't stupid, they know adults enjoy sex. They know it's not all great break and diseases. But instead of teaching them about how, when, where and safety many adults act like a teenager is doing some huge injustice. They know it's not.


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting firespurity:

I have to agree with this. By seventeen sex shouldn't have been an ultimate taboo. She knew she want 5 anymore so she didn't follow the rules that treated her like a five year old.

And she's seventeen and pregnant. It's time for her to get a job, even if she's still in school. I also think it's important to allow the two top keep their relationship strong. Kids from two parent household fair way better in statistics.



Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:


She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.


It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.


 I disagree.  Even if she did feel the need to sneak around, she sure as heck could have gotten condoms or abstained.  She knew what the consequences could be.  My parents were very strict and I still managed to find a way to have sex and got pregnant at 16.  It was MY fault, not theirs.  I worked my butt off though to buy what my baby needed, and if I were you, I'd make sure her and her bf are doing just that. 

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:38 PM

I started having sex at 17, my parents put me on birth control. I had sex with him for 3 years and not 1 pregnancy scare. I married my husband at 21, I was on birth control until we decided we wanted to have 2 children, back to back. I got off birth control and had two children, back to back. Then I went back on birth control until DH got a vasectomy when our youngest was 2 years old.

I've only had planned children. It isn't that hard when given the proper resources and support.

Those that are forced to sneak around tend to be reckless and unsafe.

Quoting Amybelle:

eeh, according to about 99.9% of the women on this site, they got pregnant even though the were on BC.  Cafemom is the Birth-Control Failure Capitol of the Universe. lol

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

Parents that talk to their kids openly about sex and don't make it the ultimate sin are the ones that have teens that don't get pregnant. I'm not saying let them have sex in your house but make sure they know that they can come to you for birth control when they feel they are going to have sex.

Quoting Amybelle:

I'm sorry but THIS is just DUMB

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.





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Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:39 PM
Oh, well, not all teens get pregnant so easily, even ones that are seriously trying. Good luck to u on it though :) *baby dust*

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm 24




Quoting Anonymous:

The teenage years are a very fertile age. Ripe young bodies, I suppose. How old are u?





Quoting Anonymous:

It frustrates me that we've been ttc for a long while now with no luck and teens get pg like nothing.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:40 PM

Teenagers with parents that prepare them for sex and offer them protection do just fine.

Quoting Anonymous:

No the ones that don't use protection get pregnant. That's why teenagers shouldn't have sex they aren't mature enough to take precautions


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

Those that are forced to sneak end up pregnant.

Quoting Anonymous:

No its her daughters fault. If she thought she was grown up enough to have sex she's grown up enough to get her own birth control





Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.






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Dewinter
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:40 PM

 Like I said , if he is old enough to have sex , then he is old enough to take that responsibility.My dh and I have had the sex talk with both kids. They have both decided that waiting for marriage and the love of a spouse is best for them. Just because my ds is a male does not automatically mean he is out hound dogging around. He has the right to make that decision for his life. He is very open with us and he has a life plan for himself. He told me he wants to honor our Lord, himself, and his future wife by waiting.

I will never encourage premarital sex  for any teen.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

Then prepare yourself to be a grandmother at an early age.

We plan on having a fish bowl full of condoms and to put DD on birth control when she is ready for it. Sex will not be taboo in our house.

Quoting Dewinter:

 It is NOT op fault. Her dd decided to have sex behind her parents back and she got pregnant. Her dd is AT fault and IS going to have to accept that responsiblity. Just because "everyone" is being so pc and relaxed about teen sex does NOT mean that all parents are going to get on board and allow their children to do anything they want to. I will not be putting my dd on bc, I WILL NOT buy my ds condoms. If he feels adult enough to have sex, then they are adult enough to buy condoms.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.

 


 

brandydesiree
by Platinum Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:41 PM
My Step-daughter is 18 and pregnant. 24 weeks, she got married last month. I'm going to be a 31 year old grandma!

I'm not embarrassed that she got pregnant, she's an adult... I am scared for the baby. DSD is a diagnosed sociopath. We will be keeping a very watchful eye on her to make sure she isn't abusive or neglectful.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:41 PM
That's not always true. I told my daughter she could always come to me if she was going to be sexually active. She still snuck around and had sex behind my back.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

She got pregnant because you made her sneak around and didn't feel like she could come to you about birth control or condoms.

It is your fault. <--- No beating around the bush.


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