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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Can cheaters change?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 60 Replies

Have any of you been in a relationship where the guy cheated once or twice then admitted to and and stopped? The reason I ask is my fiancee cheated on me when we first started dating then again when I was about 6 months pregnant, we were arguing on a daily basis he told me about it and said the arguing made him not care and we split up for 2 months. We got back together about 3 months ago and have a 2 month old daughter together. When we split up I went on a few dates with a guy I met and he said me being with someone else made him realize he didn't want anyone else to have me. We still argue not as often or as bad but I worry that he'll cheat again, he swears he wont he deleted his Facebook and asked me to make a joint account with him. When we split up we lost our apartment I moved back in with my parents and he moved in with a friend, were saving for a new place but as of now were still living apart. I don't know what to do he gave me his passwords to everything, I can check his phone anytime I want, if I call he answers unless he's sleeping. I want so bad to trust him but I don't want it to happen again. No bashing please I know it's dumb to get back with him but I love him and we have a family. Any success stories?? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MistyMoo
by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:47 AM
2 moms liked this
Don't count on it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:49 AM
2 moms liked this

 I have counseled a few cheater and wives/husbands of them, and for the most part the answer is no, not really. Some will only change after they have lost everything and then in another relationship farther down the line they do not cheat ( they say ) but most will cheat again on the woman they have cheated on before. It's like a hitter after the first time, it just gets easier.

I wish I knew what to tell you but seriously, I wouldn't get back with him unless he did some serious long term counseling and you worked through ALL the issues and set down ground rules. Sad to say but by the time that happens most couples move on to new relationships and have better lives with someone else.

JenB1983
by Platinum Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:50 AM
Nope.
My ex swore(every time I caught him) that "things were going to be different", I could trust him! He gave me all of his passwords and everything.

Psh. And would then make up new accounts. New Facebook that I was blocked on. Etc.

So glad I'm with someone now that I trust completely.
No1knows
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:52 AM
1 mom liked this

The best prediction for future behavior is past behavior. Sure, he could be the exception, but it seems like he's just playing good for now to get his way only to let you down again. :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:53 AM

Quoting JenB1983:

Nope.
My ex swore(every time I caught him) that "things were going to be different", I could trust him! He gave me all of his passwords and everything.

Psh. And would then make up new accounts. New Facebook that I was blocked on. Etc.

So glad I'm with someone now that I trust completely.

I have a fake Facebook that he doesn't know about I check to see if he has another account and I didn't catch him he told me.
DieselsMom
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:56 AM

Can they? Yes. Will yours? No one knows!

PetraPoloniski
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:56 AM

 

If cheating is a problem for you, then do not go back to him as he will cheat again and again and again!!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:58 AM
2 moms liked this
It depends on the man and how he works... If you feel it is worth trying again, then do it! At least you'll know you tried and he failed. Nothing wrong with that but if it does happen again.. Let that be your reasoning every time he sees you with another man when he tries to weasel back into your love life.... Because he will pull the same crap. I'd keep my guard up half way and tell him he's still on a trial basis... Also, I think "cheating because of arguing" is a shitty excuse...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:59 AM
No.
Don't be naive.
Just when you finally start to get over it and the arguing stops, he'll do it again. And this time he won't tell you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 1, 2013 at 6:00 AM


That's what I'm afraid of I know he loves me and our daughter but he had a really bad childhood and other than my parents he really hadn't seen what a healthy relationship is. I don't want to sign another lease with him and things not work out but I don't want to leave him if he's seriously changed. 

Quoting No1knows:

The best prediction for future behavior is past behavior. Sure, he could be the exception, but it seems like he's just playing good for now to get his way only to let you down again. :(



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