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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I have a disturbing confession.. please HELP no bashing! *update *

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 499 Replies
5 moms liked this
Ill try to keep this short...

Ever since I had DD (She is 10 weeks old) I have started to develop these weird thoughts that never stop... thoughts about her getting hurt or dying... its NOT ME thinking of doing anything to her intentionally, but rather, what could happen if, if, if... and I can't sop it and its really starting to bother me. I thought at first it was normal new mom paranoia and a healthy way for my brain to always be on pointe with safety (like don't leave em on a changing table and walk away, etc...)

But now EVERYTHIG I do, I have these fleeting thoughts enter my head, like Final Destination... I have these visions of her tumbling down the stairs, falling out a window, drowning in her baby tub, carrying her and tripping and falling (that's the worst one in the past week) and I'm consumed with these thoughts.

I had her in her carseat in the backseat the other day and for no reason at all, I suddenly imagined a tanker truck coming along and smashing into the back of the car and crushing her... why the hell do I think things like this? It makes me want to throw up, the thought of her being hurt. I can't stand it.

Its weird because it doesn't really equate to a fear of going out or taking her places, giving her a bath, etc. But I dont like that my mind is forcing these thoughts of her being injured or dead. Its really disturbing to me and I can't turn it off.

Please will someone tell me what's going on. :(

**So I tried to talk to DH last night, and he was initially not very understanding and didn't comprehend the whole PPD thing (he's somewhat of a simpleton) but eventually just told me that whatever I need to do to make myself better, to do it. So I'm going to call my OB today and see if they have a recommendation for a therapist.

I want to take the opportunity to give thanks to each and every one of you for taking time out of your day to respond so nicely and with such support. I thought for sure someone would say I'm an unfit parent. (Well, this is MC, I can't imagine why LOL) but thank you again and I apologize if I don't have time to write everyone who offered PM's. .. I'm trying!**
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:48 PM
44 moms liked this

This sounds like post partum depression to me.  Talk with your Dr ASAP.

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:48 PM
29 moms liked this

You are hormonal, for one.  For two, you have a new baby.  Some of these fears are NORMAL.

But if they are affecting your quality of life, if you are unable to enjoy being with DD, if it has stopped you from doing your normal routines, then you should talk to your doctor.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I have these same worries of something happening so I dont know?!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:50 PM
8 moms liked this

Are you a first time mom? This happens. It'll pass. Don't worry about it too much. Just keep pushing those thoughts out of your head.

Easier said than done, I know. Good Luck.

december911
by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:51 PM
18 moms liked this

Anxiety. and while it may sound weird to some, i totally get you on it. I actually talked to a therapist because i felt like my worrying was out of control. I of course take anxiety medication now, and it has helped tremendously. When you love someone so much, the thought of them getting hurt or losing them is paralyzing.

mamakin616
by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:51 PM
2 moms liked this

You should talk to your Dr., it sounds a bit like panic and anxiety...always having thoughts of dreadful things happening. There are meds for this kind of thing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:52 PM
3 moms liked this
it is a mental issue . I have always had thoughts like that and I am beyond a worrier. My dd is a teen now and I still am paranoid about something happening to her. I always thought it was because I had a stillborn, and I am sure that definitely has something to do with it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:54 PM
3 moms liked this

Quoting Anonymous:

Are you a first time mom? This happens. It'll pass. Don't worry about it too much. Just keep pushing those thoughts out of your head.

Easier said than done, I know. Good Luck.


my dd is a teen now and it never passed.
ThatSkinnyGirl
by FAT on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:55 PM
4 moms liked this
I had that after my youngest was born. You need to call your doctor. It can be a sign of post party's depression/anxiety. It is normal to an EXTENT but your worries seem out of control and are effecting your daily life. My dr put me on Zoloft after and it helped with those thoughts a ton. Call your OB TODAY. You do not have to live like this.
myempyreofdirt
by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:56 PM
5 moms liked this
Hormones. I did the same for the first 3 or 4 months with my ds. I was constantly imagining horrible accidents. He's 5.5 months now and I don't have them much anymore. Newborns seem so damn fragile, and that's part of it. I bet once your dd is a little bigger you'll feel better. Talk to a doctor if it does get to a point where you're afraid to leave the house, let family hold her, etc. *hugs* It's hard being a new mommy, and very scary.
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