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HELP!!! need info on talking to bi-racial teenager about boys!

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:30 PM
  • 17 Replies

My niece lives with me and has since she has been 7. She is bi-racial. (Black and white) She is 13 and she has made several comments for the last couple of months that everyone is racist! That scares me because I know that she must be dealing with some things in school. The schools here are mostly white people. She has always been the only black kid. Her words not mine...

I think its getting harder for her because she is getting interested in boys and she feels like there aren't any boys that likes her because of her color. She is a beautiful young lady. I tell her that all the time. So, we had a talk today. She said that she will never get a boyfriend because no boy is going to want to be that boy that goes with the black girl. I told her that she is luckier than most girls. That when she gets a boy interested in her, that he isn't just looking at the outside, he will be interested in her personality. That is the kind of boy you are looking for. I did tell her that I know it has to be hard. She told me that she has several nicknames that refer to her color. It kills me...

 

Is there anything else I can tell her. I don't want to get involved in any school things unless she tells me that she can't take it. I don't want to make anything worse. She does have friends. One good thing is that she is going into highschool. So, it might all be different next year.

HELP>>>

 

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TishHughes
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:31 PM

Sorry, I have no advice.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:34 PM
She is the same age, race, and has the same reason why my baby sister committed suicide. My advice: find a school asap that has multi races or home school. My dad forced my sister to go to an all white school. No amount of compliments will help. Trust me! And good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly, I would tell her that 13 is too young to be thinking about boys and that when she does find one that she likes and expresses interest to please be careful. It will have nothing to do with her color and everything to do with what is in her pants. If a boy truly likes her, it won't be because she goes all the way or what color she is or isn't, but for her sense of humor, her kindness, etc. A boy who likes her for her will respect her and not pressure her into anything she isn't ready for or try to emotionally blackmail her by saying things like, "If you love me, you'll have sex with me." or "If you won't have sex with me, I will find someone who loves me enough to do it."
3boysngirl
by Silver Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:37 PM
My friend is mixed she hit a couple rough patches in life but she always got threw them and made her a stronger person. I told her she has the best of both worlds and many people will love her even if she was purple green or red. Beauty is with in and black or white we still bleed the same color. And tell her she has to love herself before she can love anyone else
rellasmommy
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:40 PM

I think she is too young for dating, maybe involve her in some kind of sport or activity or volunteering to take her mind off of boys.

On a side note, I think "bi-racial" children are gorgeous.

MomTiara19
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:45 PM

This breaks my heart because I am a mother of a biracial teen.

You need to get her out of her all white environment...it is killing her self esteem.You need to get her around a more multi-cultural atmosphere.

Is there anyway she could meet her fathers side?Join the mothers of mixed kids group on CM...also http://lovingday.org/

She needs to know there are so many mixed kids and IR couples out there.Email me anytime.Your neice sounds like a gem:)

 

Nickmom1118
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:46 PM

 I don't think that would be an option with my niece. She doesn't want to leave her friends. She chose to live here with my and go to this school vs. a inner city school with her mom and dad. I am really sry for your lose. That is awful. That is what I am scared about. That she might be getting bullied and not telling me.


Quoting Anonymous:

She is the same age, race, and has the same reason why my baby sister committed suicide. My advice: find a school asap that has multi races or home school. My dad forced my sister to go to an all white school. No amount of compliments will help. Trust me! And good luck.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:48 PM
I would switch schools...I grew up in rural Oklahoma. There were only 2 black students and they were brothers. People were nice to them but still cracked racial jokes... It made me sad for them. They went along with it but I'm sure it hurt
Mrs_Nelson
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:50 PM
I have no advice but will send good wishes to your niece.
Nickmom1118
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:50 PM

 I think they are too young for boys too, but she is with 14 yr olds. And I remember when I was 13, I was into boys too. She stays in home. I am hoping that when she gets into high-school that she will get involved in a lot of the clubs or things like that.


Quoting rellasmommy:

I think she is too young for dating, maybe involve her in some kind of sport or activity or volunteering to take her mind off of boys.

On a side note, I think "bi-racial" children are gorgeous.


 

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