Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my story on how I don't think people on pa get things handed to

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 0 Replies
hi ladies so I will tell you my story and how I found out that people on pa do not get the same apportunities. the people who need it andno I'm not talking about the people who play with the system I'm talkin about people wjo were in situations like mine.


I will tell you a little back story I have two sons 5 and 3 yr olds. after my second child was born my ex husband changed completly. I know many will say why did you have his kids but I will tell you that he was a sweet heart at first even now I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. it started with simple things like not wanting me to go out get a job or visit my parents or family. then it went ahead to verbably abusing me everything was negative I was pretty much just there for sex and to clean and cook. I look back now and know I should have left the momment he was starting to show signs,but it was such a drastic change that I thought maybe it was something going on I wanted to help him I loved him.


my eyes started to open when my kids started to fight with eachother yell not nice things to each other that I didn't want my kids to grow up to be that way I wanted better for them. it was a very hard step and very scary because sincei couldn't go out or work I had to call him at work to tell him I was going to be in the backyard with the kids. why did I stay 2 years like that maybe because I was scared I felt ugly and worthless with everything he said.


one day I decided it was not worth it so I left I moved in with my parents but I had no job and a lot going on. my 2 year old has autism and well its a little to handle around the time I left he was started to get evaluations and different test. he had a private insurance from work that covered us but he quit his job and so the kids had no insurance


I was able to find a part time job and went back to school but that didn't last long the cost for schools and books was too high my ex husband disapeared on us so I was alone with the kids. day care was more expensive than the money I was making and I applied for help to pay for day care but the first time I was denied for not having a rent receipt under my name. I did pay half of the rent my parents tried to help but they had their own hardtimes too. so againpretty much my paycheck was for daycare. the second time I was denied because they cut my hours I worked 24 hours that week when I had to send my paystud and they only help after 25 hours. I had to drop school and get a second job. now both of the jobs didn't offer insurance.


I was able to apply for the public medical card for my sons but here is the reality with the private insurance my little one was being sent from specialist to specialist testing everything possible to get the best help he could. out of nowhere al, the specialist he was going to started telling me its ok he will out grow it he doesn't need to come anymore. my 2 yr old did not say a word not even mom that's not normal. but apparently now wight the medical card yes it is. he was having a very hard time in daycare to the point that he would cry every day non stop. I also received the link card and trust me I would by healthy foods my kids love veggies since they were little. they are not fans of sugary stuff but even with healthy foods I would get some nasty looks from some people. I have to say I did not have anything name brand I was buying clothed from the second hand store and not because I wantred clothes but because I needed them for work no phone no internet nothing of that but still got some crazy looks.


my son was getting worse his pedi send me to two different specialist because she said he needed to see one well the first one I called apparently had a 7 month waiting list and that was if the specialist still work there because apparently they were trying to drop the specialist. it doesn't take a genious to know they were not accepting people with medical cards because how can a developmental center drop all specialist. other people with insurance got an appoinment after me. the second specialist told me they had to verify information that the would call me back they nevet did. I called and their response was we are not accepting new patients.


I went back to the pedi and she was in shock but she tried calling personally I did eventually find a specialist that took us in. and I'm proud to say my now 3 year old is startingto talk. ok so my day was from one. job to the next school was not an aption not because I didn't want to but because I couldn't do it. yeah I could have done night classes my local college had a late class at 8 pm but see if I did that literally I would not see my children in the whole day other than weekends.

with all going on at that time my life was a mess I would spend night crying sometimes even came to the thought on why did I leave him not for me but for my kids their were times when I thought yeah I was like his slave but my kids had a mom 24/7 my kids had insurance now I couldn't even afford it my son had his specialist the help he needed but in the long run I think that my ex behavior would have been a negative thing on them. I didn't want to one day see my ex hitting my children or hurting them. working hard and yeah falling over falling but I'm working on getting better. thanks to my bff from back in hs who I had not seen in over 7 years I was able to get a better job where I am getting paid 20 dollars extra than the total of my other to jobs together each week. I have insurance and am able to live yeah its a small apartment but its our home. I work 8 hours so I get to spend time with my kids in the afternoon now that my mom is not working she babysits my kids so o more day care fees I do have to say I qualified for help of the daycare 5 months after for the smallest things I was denied. that that lasted 3 months because after that they cancelled it because the daycare did not send a paper on time. yes I do pay my mom but she only takes 50 dollars and that is a huge help. my now 3 yr old is starting to talk and even though according to specialist he was a normal child at age 2 when he did not speak a word well now that I have insurance they are back to how they were. the nicest people ever I get to the clinic and even get offered free coffee yeah the same clinic that was going to drop all the specialist the one that had a 7 month waiting list.

all because I was on pa and no I was not milking the system I was in great need for help I did not stay years amd years on it just enouph to stand up and start a new chapter in my life. now I think and makes me sad to know that out there kids who need help are not getting the best help they can get. they are staying behind because their parents can't get private insurance but many are going through so much. I will not say that some people abuse it but seriously some people are in need.

I will continue to work extra hard for my children and don't nened from any men to help me out. do I hate my ex no I don't I feel sad for him because he is missing the two greatest kids ever. I feel.sad that he was the best husband and then for whatever reason he changed and lost everything. I feel sad for letting him put me down for making me feel like the worst dirt in this world. yes I may be working hard now non stop but I like it I feel valuble I feel like I'm worth something like a difference is made because I am here. I am telling my story not to get bashed and I know I will because everyone does but if I know that I helped someone out there to not give up or to think twice before giving a nasty look at someone paying with the purple card I will feel happy. for all those moms who are in situations similar to mine don't give up don't be scare to get strong and look for help. everyone is beautiful and everyone is here for a reason so yes you are important.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:22 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies:
There are no replies to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN